Southern Charm Recap: It’s So Hard to Say Sari

The Charmers would pick the premier night of The Bachelorette to get more interesting… giphy

Did Chelsea compare her lady bits to pork or a port?  I couldn’t understand that thick drawl.  Thomas is apparently now the official tour guide of Charleston.  Kathryn reached out to Whitney to make amends…I thought they did this at the Reunion?

Getting right in to the nitty gritty, we join Craig & Naomie at therapy.  I need a therapy sesh to recover from theirs.  I am #TeamNaomie all the way, but they are both in that place of looking at the bottom line (it’s all your fault, not mine), while we – the audience – can see the bigger picture (neither is always right).  I’m not sure they will get to the bigger picture.

Austen & Landon go on a date meet for drinks; Landon’s drink of choice was a shot of tequila & a Michalob Ultra.  She Drinks like I did at 23.  Landon did reveal that Charlotte the Dog was the flower girl/ring bearer at her first wedding, much to Austen’s chagrin.  Austen basically called Landon a gold digger…he called it as we all see it.  Shep is conveniently back on the wagon & happened to show up at the same bar as his two cast mates.  Landon basked in the glow of calling Chelsea Austen’s girlfriend in front of Shep.  Shep took it well cringey. Shep

Thomas met up with his father.  Like many men from the South & old as dirt, he had corny jokes & bad dentures.  This segment made Thomas seem a little more human & gave us some insight into why he is such a douche canoe now.  Papa Rav was a prick to young Thomas, & left his mother to care for TRav & his special needs brother.  Thomas kinda raised himself, but is still always seeking the approval from his father, who could not care less.

Austen & Chelsea had another date, & just when I was writing them of as boring Austen had to make us all cry.  He shared his ugly cry story about the death of his older sister when she was 10 & he was 7.  This broke my heart…I ugly cried Bachelor style. Austen

To lighten the mood, we head over to Patricia’s mansion & met her friend Georgette.  So, side note – I wasn’t looking at the TV during Georgette’s first appearance & I didn’t realize that it wasn’t Pat talking – they sound the same y’all!  They are in cahoots to make the world’s ugliest caftans.  Watch out Asa & Kyle.  They plan to throw a dinner party with an Indian theme.  I’ve also decided the Michael wearing a lab coat to make drinks is very mad scientist.

Meanwhile, across town in the most blatant set up ever Kathryn got her hair done by Chelsea.  I actually think Chelsea & Kathryn could be a good match as friends.  Chelsea would never sleep with Kathryn’s man, & she would provide a levity when Kathryn starts to wander too close to the Crazy Train.  Kathryn admitted that she sent Thomas a letter to apologize as part of her 12 steps.  In her confessional, Kathryn got emotional explaining how grateful she was to Thomas for making her a mother, etc.  JD joins Thomas at his office, where he shared Kathryn’s letter.

Not to go off on a tangent, but the hand writing in that letter is why cursive should still be taught in school.  No offense to Kathryn, but her handwriting is what I imagine Kensie’s to look like.

Thomas, being the worst, thinks Kathryn is trying to trap him.  Ugh!  Can he be a decent human being for once?

Cameran looked beautiful in her sari at Patricia’s.  Landon was dressed for a toga party, & Daisy was dressed as Daisy from Great Gatsby.  They were not allowed to say four letter words per Georgette’s instructions at dinner…we all assume she meant curse words, but it seemed all four letter words were taboo.  An Indian Healer showed up as the special guest & read their futures.  She correctly predicted that Cameran would be pregnant in 2017 & Craig would pass The Bar in 2017.  During this time I realized, for the first time, that Craig’s last name is perfect for a lawyer.  Get it Con-Over…lawyer’s have that reputation…  The healer also said that Naomie & Craig were soulmates – I give them another year before they call it quits.

The Healer said that Shep would only marry once he becomes afraid of being alone.  On the other hand, Landon’s true love was in the room.  Don’t you find it odd that Patricia is continuously trying to hook up Landon with Thomas, but not Whitney?  Hmmm… hmmm

Whitney hijacked Thomas’ turn in the hot seat by revealing that Kathryn had sought him out for a reconciliation.  For some reason unbeknownst to me, Cameran has a major reaction to this & thinks it is so inappropriate.  Landon was just being Landon.  Craig & Shep immediately defend Kathryn & can’t believe this group is so against Kathryn wanting to say she’s “sari.”  Appalled, Georgette deems the party is over.

Okay, so this season I have had a love/hate relationship with Craig.  Why is he such an ass to Naomie, but will defend Kathryn to the death?  Maybe when Craig & Naomie break up Kathryn will finally give him a chance?

Favorite Tweets from the night: SC4E8.1SC4E8.2SC4E8.3

What did y’all think?  Do you agree that #SouthernCharm is about to get good?  Is anyone watching Savannah?

I’ll check back in the week for RHONY.

Kiss Hug.

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The Bachelorette Recap: WhaBoo

This post is a recap of my first impressions of the guys as they came out of the limo.  As y’all know, Night One is my least favorite due to the sheer number of people I’m expected to remember.  Why was 31 guys the magic number?  All The Men

Without further ado…

In order out of the limo:
Peter: 30: WI – Holy Hottie McHot Pants!  He is much better looking in person, & he was hot in his bio.  They have the same gap in their teeth.
Josiah: 28: FL – Legal terms! “See you later litigator.”
Bryan: 37: FL – Same outfit as Josiah? Speaks Spanish. Rachel flirted with him.
Kenny: 35: NV – He reminds me of Terry from Brooklyn 99.
Rob: 29: TX – He’s from Houston, based on his bio I thought he’d be from the UK or Canada.
Iggy: 30: IL – Iggy was not the body shape I anticipated, but I called it on the hipster.
Bryce: 30: FL – He literally picked her up.  Wore his uniform.
Will: 28: FL – Just say no to Urkel.
Diggy: 31: IL – He wants to teach her how to Diggy.  Can you dig it?
Kyle: 26: CA – He can bake…apparently.
Blake K.: 29: CA – Hot Asian.  i still think he looks like Craig Conover from Southern Charm.
Brady: 29: FL – So many guys from Florida!  He looks like he’s been workin’ on the railroad all the live long day.
Dean: 26: CA – Rachel actually remembered him.  He is better looking in person.
Eric: 29: CA – he looks so much like the character from Get Out that was with the old white lady.  Dancing is their thing.
DeMario: 30: CA – He is good looking.  These guys love a bow tie.  Over-confident.
Blake E.: 31: CA – Hired a marching band.  So, the aspiring drummer wants to be in Drum Line. Nick Cannon should be afraid.
Fred: 27: TX – He knew Rachel from childhood – he was kinda creepy about it.  Rachel calls him “Fredrick, the bad little boy.”
Jonathan: 31: FL – Ewww, tickle monster.
Lee: 30: TN – He’s not as good as Wes from Jillian’s season, but already as annoying.
Alex: 28: MI – Vacuum cleaner?
Milton: 31: FL – He took a selfie with Rachel & purred at her.  Gross.
Adam: 26: TX – He brought a puppet, Adam Jr.
Matt: 32: CT – Dressed as a penguin. Waddling right into her heart.
Grant: 29: NY – Arrived in an ambulance.
Anthony: 26: IL – His head wasn’t as misshapen in person.  Wears an earring.
Jamey: 32: CA – Seemed a little effeminate.
Jack Stone: 31: TX – Has she ever seen him in court?
Mohit: 26: CA – Reminds me of Mike from Shahs of Sunset.
Jedidiah: 35: GA – He went biblical on her, shocker.
Michael: 26: IL – Lots of Chicago guys too!
Lucas: 30: CA – Testicle talk through Kenya Moore’s megaphone.  I wish she really could send him back to the limo.  Is Whaboom a rip-off of the Tasmanian Devil?  Does it give him a migraine to yell & shake like that?

Observations:

  • First make out sesh goes to Bryan.
  • DeMario knows A LOT about pop culture.
    • Might have a thing for Justin Timberlake related obsession.
  • Mo is d-runk…the Mike from Shahs comparison holds up.
  • Milton sounds like Josh Murray…I can’t handle the purring.
  • Fun Fact: Blake E. & Lucas were on a previous reality show together & they did not get along.
  • Kenny is kinda sweet.
  • Rachel is walking like her feet hurt.
  • Josiah is wearing on my nerves.  He & DeMario egg each other on.

First Impression Rose: Bryan

Roses awarded to: Survivors

Would you guys prefer me to keep all the guys & change their photo to B &W when they go, or just remove them (like above)?

Favorite Tweets from the night: E1.1E1.2E1.3E1.4E1.5

What did y’all think of Rachel’s guys?  Are any of them a keeper?  How annoying was Lucas?

My Southern Charm recap will be up later today.  RHONY up on Wednesday/Thursday.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Meet & Greet

Y’all, as I’m sure you know, the beautiful Rachel Lindsay is back as the Bachelorette! Rachel In Case you’ve forgotten, or live under a rock, Rachel is the 32 yo lawyer from Dallas, that got dumped by Nick…he’s a moron.

This is my typical,  first impression post about the contestants.
Vocabulary to know:
IBB: Impression Before Bio – this is my initial first reaction to the guys’ pictures.
IAB: Impression After Bio – obviously this is what I think after I read their bios.

Meet the guys! G1G2G3G4G5G6G7G8

These guys are obsessed with Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson, Denzel Washington, & Matthew McConaughey like last season’s girls were obsessed with mermaids, dolphins, & Olivia Pope.

I’m still trying to decide if I will focus more on recapping my beloved Southern Charm or The Bachelorette.  Southern Charm needs to kick this season into gear because so far it have been a snooze fest with way too much Landon & Craig.  I will definitely recap both, but I may skip the boring episodes.

What were your first impressions of the guys?  Will you be doing a fantasy league?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: They Are the Hunters, We Are the Foxes

Y’all, like Craig, I too am trying my hand at gardening.  Two weeks ago I cut a bunch of dead/ugly plants down to their stump in my flowerbed.  This past Sunday, I dug up all the gnarly roots with a pick & shovel…my body is now rejecting me.  I’m so sore!!!

The good news is that I should be ready to plant new flowers this weekend.  Mama J is coming to visit for Mother’s Day (this Sunday!), so I’ll let her boss me around in the garden.  Honestly, if I knew it was going to be this cumbersome, I may have never started.

I like to think that Craig would be proud of my start.

As always, the episode began with the morning routines.  Landon is apparently now a painter, Whitney a dog walker, Craig is stuck in traffic makin’ Cameran wait on him, & Shep has a coyote ugly leaving his place.  Sheppy lamented that his “piece” didn’t leave during the night like a good one-night-stand should.

Shep’s doc, from the Quack Shack, called to inform him that he is borderline alcoholic & that his liver is on the road to rejecting him.  He smartly decided to take a week off from drinking…just to see if he could.  Whitney & Patricia discussed Thomas’ lack of game, as TRav’s magic pants are now shit stained.  Patricia feels that Whitney should feel the same way about his love life.  Que the match-making dinner party.  Dare I say that Whitney may actually be charming this season?!?!  Stranger things have happened.

I don’t think I realized just how rude Craig can be.  He made Cameran wait for an hour to look at houses he can’t afford.  Cameran let Craig know that he has “Caviar taste on a Vienna sausage budget.”  Love Cameran!  Craig’s life philosphy reminds me of something my dad used to say, “I wish I had _______, & he had a feather up his ass.  Then we’d both be tickled.”  Cam reminds Craig that he should probably check in with Naomie before buying a rental property, to which Craig said, “ppp-shaw!” Craig

Kathryn & Shep reunite by doing yoga – it was so entertaining.  Best thing I’ve seen thus far this season.  Maybe Sheppy-poo & Kathryn could be Sober Buddies…  While they are bettering themselves, Austen & Chelsea went on another date.  I’m quickly losing interest in them.

Next up, Cameran & Shep had lunch with Ms. Estelle – the voodoo doll.  I think Cameran is all of us when she reiterates to Shep that maybe he needs to settle down.  I agree with her that Shep is bored.  Cam wanted to cast a love spell on Shep…he wasn’t into it.  Cam – I’m available for a love spell to be cast on me! love spell

I’m going to go ahead & skip over another spat between Craig & Naomie.  I’m afraid #OldCraig may be here to stay.  😦  He has no concept of reality…much like Landon.

At Patricia’s dinner party, Whitney helped her by putting out the place cards…you know because a party of 5 needs assigned seats.  Whitney thinks that not having a place card holder is roughing it – not so charming.  Whit & Cameran were basically there to make the setup between Thomas & Landon less obvious.  I, for one, think TRav & Blandon deserve each other.

They all blatantly make fun of Landon’s boy toy, which is a pretty shitty thing to do.  Landon is dating her 26 yo as a place card without the place card holder…she’s roughing it too.  I did love that Pat told Thomas he’d be a fool not to get a prenup from his next victim love.  Landon didn’t love that, which of course makes me happy.

Austen had dinner with his folks.  They basically told him to get a real job with a 401K & health benefits…sound familiar?  Craig needs this tough love heart-to-heart from Austen’s parents.

Moving on to the Sip & See party for Jennifer’s baby.  If I didn’t already love my Shepperoni so much, this episode would’ve sealed the deal.  He stole the show in the most endearing way.  Yoga – yes.  Holding babies – yes.  Playing with Kensie – yes!  Shep

Naomie showed up to the party without Craig, telling Cameran that he wasn’t ready to go yet, so she left without him.  I do not blame her at all!  Jenn caught wind of this, & in front of a few people asked Craig why Naomie was airing their dirty laundry.  There’s the Jenn we all know.  This of course escalated things making Jenn’s mom, in particular, uncomfortable.  Naomie again decided to leave Craig, & caught a ride home with JD & Liz.

Favorite Tweets from the night: SC4E6.1SC4E6.2SC4E6.3

I’m not going to lie, this is the first episode this season that I’ve truly enjoyed.  What did y’all think?  Did you watch Southern Charm Savannah; I was not impressed.

RHONY will be up Wednesday/Thursday.

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Multiple Surprise Parties

This recap will be a Tweet Cap.  This episode was tough to watch & I’d Rather be watching Then & Now with Andy Cohen.  If you missed the episode, all you need to know:

  • Carole & her mom campaigned in PA.
    • Love her or hate her, Carole did her part to educate people on the importance of voting.
  • Ramona got a new face for her birthday gift to herself – looked painful.
  • Carole’s Election Party was more of a funeral.
    • Her toast was lovely.
  • Ramona almost ruined her own surprise party, & she’s still the worst.
    • She couldn’t wait for Dorinda to pick her up.
  • Ramona thinks Bethenny needs to move on from their fight.
    • Sonja was actually the voice of reason.yawn

Favorite Tweets from the night: S9E5.1S9E5.2S9E5.3

What did y’all think of this episode?  Is Bethenny justified for being mad at Ramona still?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Heart Aches

This recap is going to be shorter than I anticipated because I have become increasingly annoyed with last night’s episode.  It was very disjointed – specifically the lunch between Jennifer & Kathryn.

Apparently Cameran was Homecoming Queen & a white witch in high school.  She still believes in spells.  She’s basically Louise from Teen Witch.  Cam bought a creepy looking love spell voodoo doll for Shep.Cameran

Shep is super out of shape, which he realized from his game of 1 on 1 with Austen…that dad bod tho’.  This is cause for concern for our dear birthday boy.  His board certified doctor told him to take it easy on the booze.  It was the “No shit, Sherlock” heard round the world low country.  No more buttery nipples with co-eds for Sheppy.

Thomas confided to Whitney the he has magic pants that guarantee his success with the ladies.  Whitney spoke for all of us when he told TRav to “never say that out loud again.” Now if Thomas does indeed have “Hot Pants”, they are more of the liar, liar pants on fire variety.  Feeling down in the dumps, Thomas decided to pursue Landon hardcore, even though she’s wasting time with a 25 yo.

Things that annoyed me about Landon last night:

  • Her bangs…because duh.
  • Her judgement of her boy toy for never having been to NYC; which makes him ignorant about the world according to Landon.
    • I take particular issue with this.  I’ve never been to NYC, but that in no way means I don’t know about the world.  I’ve evacuated people from ISIS.  I’ve also held a tax-paying job since I was 14 – has Landon ever done that?
      • In case you were wondering, my job at 14 was a face painter at Reunion Ranch.  I specialized in bluebonnets.
  • On her date with Thomas, I thought all her “yeahs” sounded more like a cat than a dolphin.  I seriously thought there was a cat outside my window.  Landon’s new name is Meowllory.
  • Her constant maligning of Shep’s character.

When it comes to Thomas, Kathryn will never think rationally; he has set her up to not trust another woman around him.  She is justified in that because TRav is the ultimate Tool McDouche Nugget.  The lunch with Jenn & Kathryn seemed spliced together to make us feel a certain way.  I didn’t love the stone cold side of Kathryn, but her relationship with Jenn did start on precarious terms.  Did Jenn not sleep with Thomas?  I have no ill feelings towards Jenn, or Kathryn, but I think they cannot be friends at this time. Kathryn seemed unaffected & Jenn seemed like an emotional mess, & as a new mom she probably was.  I did not enjoy seeing Jenn defend Landon last night on social media – that makes me question her again.

Craig, Craig, Craig… He has the weirdest hobbies – gardening, sewing, real estate (not that weird), fashion design, bourbon…  Naomie was 100% correct about Craig’s recent life choices.  He is a dreamer, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but he shouldn’t belittle his girlfriend for bringing some much needed levity to the relationship.  Focus Craig, focus!  Tough love for Craig.  First, get a full-time job with a 401k & health benefits, then you can have as many side hustles as you want.  For a 28 yo – you are the screw-up in your relationship.  This annoyed me so much.  Naomie wants her man to be her equal; right now, she is pulling all the weight.

Favorite Tweets from the night: SC4E5.1SC4E5.2SC4E5.3

What were your thought on Kathryn?  A lot of people turned on her last night.  What about Craig?  Is #OldCraig back to stay?  Is Craig still involved with Gentry Bourbon?  Did Shep make it a whole week without booze?

RHONY Recap will be on Wednesday night or Thursday morning.

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Hug It Out

All the episodes on Bravo this week seemed to cram so much into one episode…the hours just fly by!

We opened the episode at Ramona’s Hamptons home at her dinner party; Sonja & Tinsley were the last to arrive.  Tinsley & Dorinda got acquainted & hit if off fairly quickly.   Tinsley immediately shared her life story…as one does.  Dorinda was sweet about it, “We’ve all f*cked up.”  Carole filled Sonja in about the tiff between B & Ramona.  Sonja said that her daughter turned out fine.

I have to say, that pasta looked good at the dinner party, but Ramona definitely did not make it.  Sonja greeted Dorinda & Luann with such a fake, sugary sweet Helllloooo. Dorinda totally shaded Sonja when she announced that she was staying at both Ramona’s & Luann’s.  Then Dorinda went in for the kill.  Don’t mess with Gansta D.  Dorinda could not follow Michelle Obama’s advice.  I was horrified for the guests.Dinner party.gif

Things we learned from this dinner party:

  • Sonja worked for Trump?  Eww.
  • Candace Buschnell is friends with Ramona & Luann.  I wonder if Ramona has inspired any of her bitchy characters.
  • Sonja thinks Ramona should vote.
  • Carole is a champ at eating pasta.
  • Ramona LOVED the drama.
  • Bethenny is spot on with her Home Alone references.
  • Carole dis-invited Ramona to her Election Party; however, Ramona forgot that she dis-invited Sonja to stay with her in the Hamptons.

The next morning at Luann’s brunch, Dorinda & Sonja made up so fast!  Sonja & Luann made up as well, but Sonja proceeded to bend Ramona’s ear about Lu the rest of the time.  Why is she still hung up on Tom?  Does he have a magic penis?  I’m sure this truce is going to last until the end of time… Truce

Back in the city, Bethenny stops by Carole’s where she met the two cats also named Baby. Is Carole fostering cats, or is she keeping them?  I was hoppy happy to hear Bethenny say that she wanted get to a good place with Jason, it must be exhausting to be in constant battle with the father of your child.

Sonja is butt hurt that Tinsley is having lunch with the other girls without her.  Think of it this way – Tinsley is just getting to know her new coworkers.  On a side note, why is Tinsley staying in Sonja’s daughter’s room & can’t bring guys home, but Luann stayed in “the bridal suite” & could do whatever she wanted?

Can someone please get me a transcript of Dorinda & Sonja’s screaming match at dinner?

Favorite Tweets from the night: S9E4.1S9E4.2S9E4.3

What did y’all think of last night?  Did you hear that Cameran from #SouthernCharm is expecting a baby girl this Fall!  So cute!

This weekend I’ll be at the Poppy Fest in Georgetown, TX!  I get to see Diamond Rio – I hope they still have their mullets.  Hope y’all have a fantastic weekend.

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Shepic Paisley Pants

Sorry this post is up a little late…Life got in the way.  Let’s just get right into it, shall we?  Was it just me or was this episode bouncin’ around all over the place?

We start with Landon at Thomas’ Plantation for a polo match – she so badly wants to be Mrs. Ravenel.  Are we not past calling plots of land with hired help “plantations”?  Thomas was rude for shading Kathryn’s cooking skills.  Apparently Landon is an excellent cook, but I’ve yet to see her do anything other than drink wine.  She does that pretty well though.  Here’s a thought Thomas, date a woman your own age & chances are she’ll know how to cook.

Continuing on with the opening montage, Whitney was dressed like a seersucker Colonel Sanders, which Cameran found hilarious.  Austen has Chelsea saved in his phone as “Dream Girl.”  Craig still has no life, no goals, & no schedule much to Naomie’s despair.

On to the Polo Match… Thomas did greet his kids when they first arrived, which Craig no one saw.  Chelsea admitted that she only knew the Pretty Woman version of polo – same. Cam made Whitney hold St. Julien – he held the baby like Rachel Green.  Whitney

During a break in the match (between games?), Thomas was chillin’, relaxin’ all cool when a couple of tools started makin’ trouble with his kiddie brood with Landon, Craig, & Austen.  The nanny walked by on her way to the car to take the kids home, & Thomas barely acknowledged them.  This offended Craig, so much so, that he scolded Thomas – it went over real well as you can imagine.

As the best parent to no children, I am well aware that telling an actual parent how to do anything with their kids gives them the biggest thrill of their life.  ParentsCraig should not be giving Thomas parenting skills; however, Thomas was socializing & could have easily loved on his kiddos.  Landon clearly would make a fantastic step-mom…see gif above.  Landon says that’s the way parents are in the South – um, not in Texas.  Is it possible that Landon’s parents find her as insufferable as I do?  Cam pointed out to #OldCraig that Thomas is the only providing for the kids at this time, & Naomie bascially told  him to butt-out.  Note to Craig, probably should mind his own business in this regard because it will not go over well.  Note to Thomas, next time try saying something along the lines of “Bye Kensie, I love you!  See you soon!”

I loved it when Chelsea said to Austen, “Thomas’ team won?  It’s rigged!”

Shep came back to town just in time to celebrate his 37th birthday.  Whitney gleefully dream-crushed Shep’s amorous pursuits of Chelsea by informing him that she went to the polo match with Austen.   Austen decided that Shep is on a need-to-know basis, & right now he doesn’t need to know.

Kathryn (FINALLY!) is back-ish!  She joined Craig for sober drinks to catch up.  He barely waited for Kathryn to sit down before telling her what a “bad parent” Thomas is & mentioned that Landon was his hostess for the Polo soiree.  Kathryn nailed Landon from the get-go.  Craig should not be inserting himself into Kathryn & Thomas’ mess.  Kathryn now has visitation twice a month with the kids, which is a major accomplishment!

To me this is when the show started bouncing all over the place.  Austen & Chelsea meet up for their date.  Austen is in LUV, while Chelsea wants to get down to the nitty gritty.  Chelsea is playing Shep.  Why the hell is Landon mad at Shep for him giving her feedback at her Feedback Party.  Landon says, “I’ve pretty much succeeded at everything I’ve done.”  Umm, not your marriage, not your blog, not pitching business ideas, not being a decent person, not asking your dad for money, & not having a conversation.

Naomie & Cameran go on a manicure date – I wish I could replace Naomie on this date.  I want to have girl time with Cam. They bitched about Craig’s recent behaivor, but Cameran did give her sound advice, “Don’t go easy on him [Craig] just because you love him.”

Shep got his birthday haircut from Chelsea.  He didn’t seem to love his reputation…  As much as I love Shep, I think he fairly earned his reputation.  I think any woman wanting to settle down would be trepidation around him.  However, I feel like this love triangle may be a bit overproduced & contrived…it’s less of a love triangle & more of a lust triangle.

At the boat party, Shep greeted all his guests.  Cam was ping-ponging fro Shep to Shep trying to rekindle their connection.  I loved Cameran’s tough love for Shep.  “You’re gonna be Thomas.  Do you want to be a 55yo man with no shoelaces?”

Landon & Shep clear the air.  Landon’s not over it.   I think she’s still butt hurt that Shep doesn’t love her.  Once again Landon took an opportunity to shade Kathryn, as usual, “Yes, we slept together & now I’m pregnant.”

That’s basically all I got from this episode.  It was a little too disjointed for my taste.

Favorite Tweets from the Night:  SC4E4.1SC4E4.2SC4E4.3SC4E4.4

What did you all think of Shep’s birthday party?  Do you think Craig & Landon are basically the same person – #OldCraig?  Do we like Chelsea?  Austen?  Them together?

The RHONY Recap will be up tonight – I promise to get back on schedule!

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Soft-Core Politics

Y’all, I’m such a dingbat!  I wrote this post last week & forgot to hit “Publish.” DUH.  Blogging 101, right?!?  We’re all human, so sue me.

I love when these gals go to The Hamptons!  I wish I lived in their colonial, shingle style homes!  They’re my favorite!!!  This episode was good, but not that much actually happened.

After arriving in The Hamptons, Bethenny & Carole met Luann, Dorinda, & Ramona for dinner.  Ramona chaotically whirled into the restaurant, plopped down, & promptly went for Bethenny’s jugular.  Normally I do not defend B, she doesn’t need my help after all, but this seemed uncalled for, calculated, & vicious.  Ramona

So, apparently 20+ years ago Bethenny tried to be an actress, but never made it past the D List; she had to do a topless scene once in a movie.  I guess Ramona leaked this to the press found out about it & honed in on Bethenny, calling it her “porno past.”  She kept asking if Bryn had seen it in the tabloids & if B was addressing it with her 6yo daughter.  You read that right, six. years. old.

Y’all, is Ramona chemically imbalanced?  Her train of thought is so difficult to follow.  I really just don’t understand her logic; is she offended by Bethenny?  Is she trying to embarrass Bethenny?  Was there a legit reason for bringing up her nude scene in a D-rated movie, other than being catty & nosy?  I agree with the butler from last week.  I don’t care that Ramona had a horrible childhood, that does not excuse her current god awful behavior.  See a therapist if you can’t cope with your childhood.

Luann loved this ridiculous argument & added her two cents for whatever it’s worth…two cents?  She thought Bethenny desrved Ramona’s tirade because she’s selfish & only thinks about herself.  Bethenny is single, & when Bryn is at her Dad’s for the weekend (or whatever the arrangement is) then B can be as self-centered as she wants. B

The rest of the episode was basically the fall out from this disastrous dinner.  The only person that wants to talk politics with Carole is Carole…and sometimes Dorinda.  Sonja & Dorinda still hate each other.  Bethenny refused to go to Ramona’s dinner party.  The End.

I feel like the hour flew by, but not that much happened…weird.  Was this episode bizarre to anyone else?

Favorite Tweets of the Night:  S9E3.1S9E3.2

Next Monday, I’m babysitting so my #SouthernCharm recap will be up a little late.

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Model Behavior

Y’all, I forgot how much I missed the Ba-Ba-Doo theme song!  As they always do, the episode started with the Charmers doing their morning things.  Austen ran ran along a river (???) with his hair floppin’ in the wind.  Landon rolled out of bed.  Thomas was already at the office complaining about bills – see the blue bloods are just like us blue collar folks.  What were those lime green glasses with dinosaur spots?  They can be seen from outer space.  eyes

Cameran & Chelsea met up at the gym to workout their skinny fat problems.  For one day in my life, I’d like to have skinny fat problems.  We do have proof that Cam does indeed live off gas station food, but somehow I think it’s more like once or twice during filming to “keep it real”.  Apparently Shep & Chelsea had a “PG” sleepover.  I’m not sure I buy that.  They are just havin’ fun y’all.

Craig & Landon meet up for a charcuterie plate…and to bitch about Shep.  Craig did mention that he & Naomie are working on a “charity thing”.  Landon advised us all that philanthropy is the way to be a socialite…like she knows.  The fact that Craig consistently called a Step & Repeat a Step & Release, shows that he has a long way to go.  #stepandrelease

Shep is at home packing for a trip for the weekend, & Naomie stopped by to pick up a silent auction item.  Naomie talked about Craig not knowing if a tsunami hit Haiti or an earthquake.  But, in the next breath told Shep not to talk badly about him…it was a little strange.  However, it was a constructive argument.  Shep is tough on his friends.

Life advice: if you can’t be honest in a friendship, then it’s a one-sided friendship (to your disadvantage) & you need to move on.

You guys, after texting with Mama J about who on this show has jobs, I realized that Craig & Landon (and Kathryn, but where is she?) are the only ones without jobs.  Yet, they complain about my Sheppy-Poo not working.  Let’s make a list, shall we?
Cameran – Realtor
Thomas – Realty Business Owner
Whitney – Producer
Austen – Beer Guy
Shep – Bar Owner
Kathryn – Jewelry Maker?
Craig – Gardener?  Investor in Gentry Bourbon?
Landon – gold digger Blogger

Moving on to Miss Patricia, she is heading out of town.  “You can never be over-educated or over-dressed.”  Whitney is dog sitting as Michael in on a much deserved vacay.

Meanwhile, Kathryn met with a potential modeling agency.  Why didn’t she wear makeup?  Kathryn, my friend, we both suffer from blonde eyelashes – NEVER leave home without mascara.  I love that Kathryn is self-reflective & openly shares her struggles with us.  This makes me love her even more.  #TeamKathryn

I feel like I say this every week, but Thomas speaking French to himself gives me the heebie-jeebies.  He is so disgusting.  Thomas thinks that if he had pursued an older woman, his life would be different.  DUH.  But, Thomas you don’t look at age appropriate women; quite frankly age appropriate women wouldn’t give him the time of day.

Landon swung by Thomas’ house for yet another charity event – a polo match.  Landon has always been annoying, but never have I thought she sounded more like a robot. Does she read cue cards?  Is she trying to remember her script? robot

Naomie has realized that #NewCraig is regressing back into #OldCraig.  He was such an ass this episode.  Does he still work for Gentry Bourbon?  Craig says that he reasons any worry out of his brain, thus he doesn’t get stressed.  Craig, dear, you have no problems as you have no responsibilities.  Craig then accused Shep of being an abusive husband; was he jealous that Naomie & Shep can have rational conversations?

Moving along, Austen, Thomas, Shep, & the most glorious mullet meet up for a Boys Night Out.  Mullet

We found out that Thomas & Shep, who are cousins, have a lot of cross pollination when it comes to women.  These guys are animals talking about their conquests. cross pollination

Shep & Austen make a good wing man duo, but this is all too weird – these are girls, not women.  The worst part was that these same girls moved on to Thomas once Shep left.  Even Whitney & Austen were skeeved out.  Let me remind you that most of this “bar trash” were celebrating a 21st birthday.Gross

Finally, we reach the night of the big silent auction.  Mr. Craig was so obnoxious; however, they were both super unprofessional during setup at the event.  “F you, no F you!”  Now, when Naomie speaks French = not gross.  Craig, learn to delegate. Naomie, you mean well, but Craig sees it as nagging.

In the only smart move Thomas has ever made regarding a woman, he opted not to attend the silent auction in case Kathryn was there.  He didn’t want to cause a scene.

What the hell was that belly dancing gold chain in Landon’s hair?  Chelsea looked hot in that green dress.  It’s episode 3, & we’ve now seen Bam twice.  That’s two too many.

We end the episode with Austen hitting on Chelsea & getting her number.

Favorite Tweets from the night: SC4E3.1SC4E3.2SC4E3.3SC4E3.4

What did y’all think of this episode?  I think this season has been a slow build so far, which means it’s going to get real good, real soon.

RHONY Recap will be up on Wednesday night.  I’ll also be posting a new playlist, my first one since Christmas, later this week.

Kiss Hug,

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