The Bachelorette – We Have a Bonsai Gypsy Warrior, 2 Hot Ben’s, & Gay Villians

We start this week’s episode off with Kupah (Troopa) throwing a TEMPER tantrum to the producers. I’m pretty sure he hexed Kaitlyn with an STD.  Did anyone else hear him say, “I think you have Chlamydia?”

I can’t believe Tony just compared Kaitlyn to a Bonsai Tree.  She got rid of the only Texan for Tony?!?! At least the jokes write themselves.  I feel like the guys that voted for Britt are eliminating themselves every week.

Papa Chris looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh in the guys’ faces as he explained the next group daate.  Kaitlyn seriously has a wrestling fetish.  This date is way more gross than the other wrestling date, but at least Kaitlyn knows what’s in store for the Fantasy Suite.

Flexibility

For Tony being a “Healer” he came at Kaitlyn very aggressively.  I too would rather go to the zoo than watch the rest of this date.  On a side note, y’all should look up Ashley Spivey’s (from Brad Womack’s 2nd season) impression of an elephant sound.  This exhibition is really inappropriate for the children watching them.  I no longer see the appeal of JJ & Clint.

I knew Chris Harrison would ask one of the girls out sooner or later…get it?  So, Benzi & Kaitlyn appear to be going on the worst date ever in a Haunted Bird House, CH obviously planned with the Bird Lady from Home Alone 2…& I thought the wrestling was bad.  This season of The Bachelorette is more like a Real World/Road Rules from back in the day.

I too have an irrational fear of birds.

Birds

I totally understand that relationships are all about problem solving, facing your fears, & gas…all on the first date – I think not.  Kaitlyn should have been thrilled on this date because she had a reason to molest Benzi the whole time.  However, it should NEVER take anyone, on the Bachelor Franchise, to guess that “roses” is the password to any clue!!  I think Benzi’s story about his mom’s death is tragic & can truly relate to his sorrow.  If things don’t work out between him & Kaitlyn, I think he will have his fair share to pick from; he looks like Adam Levine + Joe Manginello after all.

The Sex-Ed date was hilarious, but so inappropriate…for the 87th time this season.  WTF ABC???  Who chose these dates this season; I assume Kaitlyn had some say?  I’ve never seen so many grown men blushing so hard or little kids for that matter.  I have to give them credit though; I wouldn’t want to teach pre-teens anything about sex.  Obviously, Ben H. was the hero of that date.  In another vain, why is Kaitlyn so into Jared?!?  He is a porr man’s Josh Hartnett.

I’s so confused by the JJ/Clint gay love, villian triangle, but these “To Be Continued” off-kilter rose ceremonies have got to stop.

My favorite tweets from the night:

Tweets

Thanks for reading!  I’m off to watch the Southern Charm reunion.

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