The Bachelorette Recap: The Rose Shortage is Affecting this Season of The Bachelorette

Tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette picks up where we left off last week, in the heat of the Clint & JJ Bromance.  First of all, when Kaitlyn pulls Clint aside, why did Clint un-do his belt?  I really appreciate that Kaitlyn is straight-forward with the guys & calls them on their bull***t, in this case Clint’s backpedaling & interest in JJ.  She flat-out said she didn’t trust him…you go girl!  I think Clint’s vest is his real offense this season.

At the blink of an eye, JJ turns on Clint.  Tanner said it best, “If you’re going to be a dck, at least be a loyal dck.”  The weirdest thing about this conversation is how closely JJ & Clint are standing to each other; I half expected them to make out.  Long story short, ABC spent the big bucks on Clint’s exit by calling Uber, JJ has a slapping contest with himself, & there is no Rose Ceremony.  Chris Harrison’s job is obsolete this season.

Based on the previews, Britt & Brady are supposedly in love, but clearly share each other’s wardrobe.

The guys move on to NYC & Justin announces the date card totally rocking Devon Sawa’s hairstyle from Casper & Little Giants.  Doug E Fresh is the host of this Group Date (C)Rap Battle with Shawn vs. Justin, Jonathan vs. Ryan, JJ vs. Corey, Ben Z vs. Tanner.  Did you notice that there were guys rapping in Khakis, which Kaitlyn also found hilarious.  I also noticed there are so many bad hairstyles on this date – Justin, Ryan, Shawn, & Jonathan – Edward Scissorhands has put you on notice!  KarDASHley & Nick Viall are in the audience, which is the worst kept secret in Bachelorette history.  Corey came out of nowhere with his matching underwear & calling out JJ’s love fest with Clint.

Nick pulls Kaitlyn aside to “introduce” himself to her.  I feel like Nick could have a waited a few months ATFR to have a relationship with Kaitlyn, according to previous track records.  I may be in the minority, but I kinda like Nick (liked him on Andi’s Season too), but his intentions are questionable.  Nick claims that Andi’s season wasn’t that much, so he decided to come back…questionable.  However, ABC has a long history of adding cast members: Jillian’s Season, Ben’s Season, Brad’s 2nd Season, etc.

Kaitlyn should be allowed to phone a GIRLfriend to discuss her feelings about bringing Nick back; she NEVER should have approached this with the guys until she had made up her mind.  Call Andi, she lives in NYC now!  Shawn in particular looked so angry.   I feel like Nick was totally justified for calling Andi out about the Fantasy Suite…didn’t she do the same thing to Juan Pablo???  Nick’s classic move is making out when he has nothing left to say, much like Arie from Emily’s season.

I love all the cameos in this episode!  Kaitlyn may be crazy since she decided to get advice from Ashley Onion WHILE she curls her hair for the date with Jared.  Remember Ashley Onion from Chris’ Season?  She thought a pomegranate tree was onion tree & tried to kill everyone with a paint ball gun on a zombie date, so I think its fair to say that I would never let her near my head with scissors or hot irons.  However, Ashley Onion for #BachelorInParadise!  “After talking to Ashley S. I am more confused than ever,” said Kaitlyn & every other person who has spoken to Ashley S.

I am so uninterested in Jared, so I’m already bored by his one-on-one date.  However, I give him kudos for shaving his patchy beard.  This is the BEST Jared has every looked in his life!  He should always be clean-cut!!!  I have to say this is the coolest date concept so far this season.  The Met all to yourself would be awesome.  Kaitlyn is obviously distracted & Jared is clueless, as usual.  Jared reads Kaitlyn a cheesy poem, which means he has already started his “Book of Us.”  I’m actually shocked that he hasn’t told her he loves her yet.  Mark my words, he will be the first to say it, & I hope Kaitlyn is a quick & painless dream-crusher to him.

On a side note, how good does Astronaut Wives Club look?  Can’t wait!

The next Group Date includes Cupcake (aka Chris), Ian, Joshua, Joe, & Ben H; they have to audition for Aladdin the Musical on Broadway.   Is “vampired up” a thing?  I was unimpressed with Jasmine’s singing, no offense.  I can’t believe that Kaitlyn thinks Aladdin is the most romantic love story.  If I remember correctly, Aladdin pretended to be someone else to make Jasmine fall in love with him…Kaitlyn might need to rethink her priorities. Although, she is The Bachelorette…so it makes sense.  Love that the guys had to go through singing & dancing to ultimately end up on stage with no lines, no dancing, & no singing.  Cupcake did give Kaitlyn flowers, so at least SOMEONE got flowers on this episode.  Cupcake admitted to singing “A Whole New World” in the shower & now his nickname makes so much more sense!  PS – I’m in love with Ben H.

As Nick heads up to the hotel room, the elevator operator looks like he is trying so hard not to laugh, which of course makes me laugh.  At this time, I realize we no longer have enough time for a Rose Ceremony & once again I am dissatisfied this episode & season. I am so thankful that there has yet to be any awkward one-on-one concerts – we never make it this far without one!

Can I just say, that Tanner is the highlight of this episode as the narrator?  I didn’t even know who he was when tonight started.  I think Tanner may be gunning for Chris Harrison’s job?!?

Favorite Tweets from the night:

Bachelorette Tweets

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