All My Rose-less Exes Live in Texas

This episode started where we left off last week, with Nick moving in with the guys.  You could cut the tension & animosity with a knife.  The most surprising aspect of these interactions was Tanner’s love of tabloids; he knew everything about Nick.  He is the type of guy who reads the spoilers even though he is on the show.  I think he got all his info from unREALtv.  PS – if you’re not watching that show on Lifetime, you totally should.

The Rose Ceremony, yes they finally had one, sent a frozen Ryan, Corey, & Jonathan home.  Was anyone shocked by this?  I think not.  This season promised a “world tour” of dates, but so far they have been to NYC.  The group heads to San Antonio, Texas; I pretty sure this city wasn’t on anyone’s World Travel Bucket List (I can say this being a native Texan).

Ben H. got the first one-on-one date; I think he is so dreamy – hubba, hubba.  They drove off in an old-timey truck, which I think they borrowed from my neighbor (thanks Mr. Chambers!).  Kaitlyn takes Ben to Gruene Hall, which is not in SA but rather in a super cute little postcard town that I love.  I hope they got to eat at the Grist Mill!  They had to learn how to Two-Step for a competition, which is a Texas right of passage & they sucked so hard at it.  The professional contestants are amazing at dancing, Kaitlyn & Ben didn’t stand a chance!  I did love that Ben was clearly thinking Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick while biting his sexy lip Anastasia Steele style.

Betty Jo is the best thing to happen to this season!

At dinner Ben opened up to Kaitlyn, as did his pores.  I just wanted to blot his face during their dinner & couldn’t focus on anything he said.  I know it’s hot in Texas, but come on!  He got the rose.

Justin, Jared, Ian, Chris (Cupcake), Tanner, Joe, JJ, Ben Z, Joshua, & Nick got the group date.  They had to create a Mariachi song for Kaitlyn (kill me now).  The little boy who “stole her heart” is a total P-I-M-P! My ears are bled from this date; I bet some of these guys were tired of being on musical dates, except for Cupcake.  Kaitlyn, by far, had the best Mariachi song.  I don’t get the haircut thing with Joshua, but now Justin’s hair looks awesome in comparison.  I felt really bad for Joshua because he told Kaitlyn the truth, but it backfired when the guys didn’t admit to the sh*t they’ve been talking.  Because of this, Nick got the rose & as usual he ate her face like she was dessert.

Shawn got the second one-on-one; he is so beautiful. I love how he started the date by defending Joshua’s good intentions. He & Kaitlyn went kayaking on the Riverwalk; thank you ABC for giving us the shirtless Shawn.  How Kaitlyn thought the Riverwalk looked like Europe, I have no idea.  I thought she was well-traveled, but maybe not so much.  After their leisurely trip down the “River”, Shawn & Kaitlyn had a heart-to-heart about why he is so guarded.  I think he was in some kind of car accident that he was lucky to survive; I honestly was too distracted by his beauty & man tears to pay attention to what he said.  Needless to say, he go the rose.  More shockingly, he was the first guy to tell Kaitlyn that he is falling for her; I totally had Jared pegged for this!


Now onto Ian, this is where my disappointment in ABC’s casting lies.  I feel so bad for Kaitlyn that she has all these dudes & at least one of them insults her on a weekly basis.  Not cool ABC, not cool.  Luckily, Kaitlyn can handle herself pretty well, but the girl can only take so much.  Ian is a pompous a**, & would never be The Bachelor.  He should embrace his receding hairline & go home, never to be heard from again.  I think his degree from Princeton was a BS in Douche-baggery.

My favorite Tweets from the night:


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