BIP Recap: Samantha is THE Villain…Like Ursula

Sunday

Tonight’s episode started with the continuation of Joe & JJ’s fight; yes, it’s still about Juelia.  Okay, now I agree Juelia is a great woman, but the argument that “she deserves to be here” & that “She really deserves love” just doesn’t hold sway with me.  No one deserves to be on Bachelor in Paradise & everyone deserves to be loved.

Meanwhile, back at the bar everyone (Joe) brings poor Jorge into the fray.

JJ pulled Juelia aside to ask if he could save her, but she showed a lot of class in telling him that he should be here looking for love.  JJ is really steppin’ up his rep.  Juelia then sought out Chris Harrison and asked to bring Mikey T. back.  Really?  REALLY?!?!  Mikey T???

We move along to the rose ceremony, where Joe half-heartedly admits to being in contact with Samantha before BiP.  Blah, blah, blah.  JJ decided to save Ashley S, which is the best play yet.  She was confused & shocked, as was everyone else.  She accepted, & then JJ promptly left Paradise as he had realized he was in love with a girl back home.  He basically told the gang that he had to go see about a girl.  How did Tanner not know about this!?  PS – my sources tell me that the girl back home had moved on.

This awesome turn of events left Juelia’s salvation in Dan’s hands.  He opted for Amber.  Whah, whah.  Clare left bitter, mumbling about being the Bachelorette, & talking about retirement from the Bachelor franchise.  Yes, please.  When Juelia got to the top of the stairs, Mikey T. opened the car door she thought was meant for her.  Chris told the gang that since Juelia had been deceived, he thought it fair to give her another chance.

Immediately after the rose ceremony there was a date card for Tanner, & Jade by association.  They flew to Tequila, Mexico…I feel like they could have had a similar date at the resort.  They basically made tequila, got drunk, & had the boyfriend/girlfriend talk.  Tanner admitted to being “all in,” & Jade was said “I get it.”

While the lovebirds are gone, Nick arrives.  He looked so different from Bachelor Pad that I didn’t recognize him.  I guess that $250,00 did him well.  He told Chris Harrison he had spoken with Samantha via social media, texting, & in person.  CH gave him a date card.  The look on Samantha’s face when he walked in was an Oh, Shit! look, if ever I saw one.  He immediately asked Sam on the date, which she turned down; however, I think she only turned it down because Joe was sitting next to her & she already had a target on her back.

I love that Mikey pulled Nick aside to give him the low down on the Samantha, Joe, Juelia mess.  Nick then asked Ashley S. on the date.  This date was so hilariously awkward…starting with Ashley’s confusion of the Spanish language.  She only said she couldn’t understand the boat guy when he was speaking English.  Did anyone else notice that?

Basically because of a hurricane, they couldn’t go out to an island, so Nick & Ashley went to the nearest tequila spa for shots & massages.  That doesn’t sound horrible to me.  Ashley got shitfaced & was able to understand the bird’s crowing…those subtitles made my heart smile.  In the hot tub, Ashley cheers’d Nick to “loving him like a brother.”  No wonder he thought she was out there.

Next day, everyone is back at the house & Joe is basically, in his own words, a needy bitch.  Samantha played him for a fool & she broke up with him on his birthday.  She seemed to blame him, solely, for the Juelia debacle.  She is equally at fault, but she doesn’t want to be cast as the Villian.  She is just like Ursula singing her Mermaid song, stealing all the guys.  Shame, shame.

Tweets from the night:

BiP Sunday 4

Monday

I was a little late to the beginning of tonight’s episode.  I think we started with Samantha & Joe breaking up again?  Is it just me or does Samantha seem like the bigger villain???  At the same time, Jared told Ashley I. that he’s just not that into her, & of course she calls Kaitlyn crying.  “What the fuck did you do to Jared?”  Hilarious!  Ashley Cry I. could give Kim Kardashian a run for her money with the ugly cry face.

Surprisingly, I loved Ashley & Joe’s random dump club friendship.  Joe basically told her to get over it & “Gimme dat rose.”

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the commentary from Tanner & Carly.  Can they please do the play-by-play for all future Bachelor seasons?

Juelia & Mikey go on an overnight date to Guadalajara, which is apparently a great place to fall in love.  Never heard that before… So, they go on the super romantic date to see Mexican wrestling.  Hahahahaha!

Oh!  How cute for Kirk & Carly’s fishing date?  So cheesy, but so cute.  I’m totally rooting for them!

The drama continues with Joe & Samantha.  He is pretty much going to implode, as Samantha continued to blame Joe for everything.  Carly said it best, when she said, “Joe is getting what he deserves, but Samantha is the one causing all the drama.”

Justin arrived towards the end of the episode, and after talking to Joe, he asks Samantha out.  And the drama continues for another week.

Monday Night’s Tweets:

BiP Monday 4

 

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