Southern Charm Recap: Promise Rings & Hormones

Okay y’all, bear with us Houstonians as we had major flooding overnight.  Apparently, people do not understand, “Turn around, don’t drown.”  It’s a catchy phrase that is actually very serious. #houstonflood

As usual, we begin the episode with token cast members doing their morning routine.  Kathryn is running after Kensie.  Cameran is making real estate deals.  Craig is getting ready for his first day a Gentry Bourbon while using all of Naomie’s hairspray.  Tom Sandoval called, he wants his routine back…#NewCraig stole his thunder.  Meanwhile, at Shep’s house it is sometime after 11a & he has just woken up.  He FaceTime’d with his Mama, she had a hard time with that (as does Mama J).  Apparently Shep wants to turn his roof into a bar with a pool – does that meet code?

On Craig’s first day at Gentry, they not only did office work but also construction & tasted Bourbon.  I don’t know what it is, but JD seems rather sleazy this season…not sure I can trust him.  I think it’s his laugh, like he’s up to no good.  Cameran stopped by Shep’s for a beer & a business proposition; she called him on his laziness/sleeping in.  Because of this, Shep revealed to us that he only wakes up early for surfing, duck hunting, skiing, & sex.  He’s obviously still gunning for my affections.  Cameran’s real estate business is doing so well that she has to turn work away…must be nice.  Thus, Shep is taking on her overflow work.  What should they call their business?  I suggested Suave & Sass, which blew up my Twitter feed. 🙂  Shep pointed out that he wasn’t suave most of the time.  I bet he is when he wakes up at 3 in the afternoon!  Maybe they should call it “Shep we Cam Sell You a House.”  Cam expects Shep to #SouthernCharm the pants off women looking to purchase a house.  We all know that is his calling.

Next up Kathryn stopped by TRav’s place to discuss her housing situation.  Thomas had candles lit…weird right?  Thomas complained that Kathryn’s new house is nicer than his, which it looks similar to his current place.  Thomas basically said that he wasn’t interested in co-signing Kathryn’s lease.  This clearly upset KDen, as she said “A promise made should be a promise kept.”  She’s not wrong with that logic, but I think it would come with more TRav than she bargained for.  Her hormones are going crazy, y’all.  Thomas was having none of it, but eventually he relented & co-signed her lease.  Kathryn compared it to making a deal with the devil, as he wanted her at his Polo Match the following weekend.

Over at Patricia’s house she is preparing for the Flamingo Party by trying to assemble a metal flamingo yard stake…she should leave that to Michael.  She accidentally ordered 12 packs of inflatable flamingos, instead of 12 floats.  I’m sure our hot headed cast members could blow them up for her.  Danni, Cameran, & Shep met up for a lunch full of fried chicken & collard greens.  Y’all they shoveled it into their mouths like someone was going to steal it.  #YOLO

Our first sighting of Landon was her at the driving range with her dad.  I’m still undecided about her.  Sometimes she annoys the sh*t out of me, but other times she golfs with her dad & I find her endearing.  So confused…  They take a breather for a drink & she sought advice from her dad.  She basically vomited all of her ideas, to which her dad said focus child.   He basically said no to constantly bailing her out financially. “God takes care of kids & fools.” LOVE!  Landon (jokingly?) asked, “Which one am I?”

Kathryn called Thomas to ask him to put in a good word for her with Patricia about the Flamingo Party.  Are Kathryn & Thomas both narcissists?  Direct quote from TRav regarding Ms. Pat’s exclusion, “This doesn’t just affect you, but it affects my children to have their mother excluded.”  How Thomas, how?  An invite to a party has nothing to do with your children.  Craig asked Cam to meet him at a jeweler to help him pick out a ring for Naomie…a promise ring.  Seriously!?!  Does anyone out of high school do this?  Is this popular among the 30-something crowd in Charleston?  His budget was $2500-$3000!  Seriously, put that towards the engagement ring.  If Shep gave me a promise ring I would laugh in his face…save it for the rock Sheppy!

Thomas headed to Patricia’s to razzle-dazzle Ms. Pat.  Michael, what is a “hen’s age?”  Patricia quickly caught on to TRav’s shenanigans.  She cut him off at the knees.  Being over-complimentary is weird & creepy, especially coming from TRav.  Patricia refuses to allow Kathryn’s “volcanic eruptions” to come to the Flamingo Party.  Patricia wants KDen to stay home & take care of the babies.  I felt like Thomas was hitting on Ms. Pat & it was gross.

For the Polo Match, I have so many questions.  Does anyone know why Kensie’s nanny wears scrubs?  Is this a thing?  Y’all, I don’t understand polo.  Is it a sport?  Is it croquet on horses?  What is the purpose?  Meanwhile, back in Moncks Corner Jennifer showed up at Kathryn’s in a Maserati.  I’m pretty sure they are not manufactured for car seats.  Also, my sister said that Kensie was supposed to be facing the back, but I digress.  Kathyrn is somewhat excited for a “family weekend” with Kensie & Thomas, but is immediately enraged upon arrival at the Polo Match.  JD & Elizabeth being there set her off?  They genuinely seemed to want to have a cordial time with everyone.  Honestly, I’m still so confused why Kathryn got so upset.  #SmilingFacesBeautifulPlaces

Okay, so I am usually #TeamKathryn but in this case KDen made things so much more difficult than they needed to be.  This is obviously pregnancy hormones, right?  RIGHT?  There is no other way to explain this “volcanic eruption” & further proving Ms. Patricia’s point.  Was drinking a problem?  You brought a baby to a sporting event…duh, drinking.  You’re also in the South…DUH, drinking. “You want to play checkers, but I’m playing chess.” #Ohsnap  Once the game (or is it a match?) was over, Thomas created further drama by yelling, “Where’s my baby?”  It was so Lifetime.  He now plans to withhold money from Kathryn.  I guess her house is now out of the picture?

Favorite Tweets of the night:SC - Week 3

What did y’all think of tonight’s episode?  I, for one, wished there had been more Cameran &/or Cooper.

I have plans Wednesday evening, so the RHONY recap will be delayed.  Stay tuned…Saturday a new page will be added “Take It or Leave It.”  I hope everyone affected by the flooding stays safe.  Until next time…

Kiss Hug,

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