We begin the show with Thomas visiting JD’s home. Isn’t it sweet that JD allows his wife to sleep-in? Kathryn’s tantrum at the Polo Match landed her in the hospital because TRav refused to co-sign her lease, thus Thomas is looking rough from lack of sleep. JD is suspicious of KDen’s motives. He smells a bluff…perhaps it’s TRav? Thomas blames the whole thing on Jennifer Snowden (ironic lastname), which I don’t necessarily agree with; however, she definitely delights in stirring the pot. She loves to play the middle (wo)man. We move on to Cameran, Whitney, Landon, & Craig doing their morning thing. Things move along to Shep, & he up & driving before noon. #progress. Cam informs Shepp-y-poo that she had diarrhea all night. TMI Cameran, TMI!!!!!!!!!! Shep is on his way to Craig’s office to watch him literally & physically send in his application for the Bar Exam. What the hell is Craig’s tie? Looks like bad wallpaper. Craig, Craig, Craig… really glue stick vs. Velcro? Mailing Center instead of Post Office? It’s like I don’t even know you. Cameran met up with a few friends to be “Ladies Who Lunch” (great podcast, too!) Cam insists that she still is not fully equipped to get pregnant. Dani & Leva grilled her relentlessly about getting a bun in the oven, STAT! Leva advises her to eat her placenta. #gross
Ms. Patricia is still working on the Flamingo Party. Apparently, cocktail towers were invented by Pat & take time y’all. What is the significance of the 144 pink flamingo floats? Bueller? Bueller? There was also a fortune teller that looked specifically like a fortune teller. Landon & Craig go on a spa date during the middle of a business day. Seriously, Landon had to get a huge settlement from her divorce, right? Conveniently, JSnow calls Craig to inform him of Kathryn’s baby distress/hospital stay, as KDen was on death’s door. Maybe that’s Kathryn’s version of a spa day? Landon only cares about her spa day. Craig is firmly on #TeamKathryn. Landon is furious that KDen continually “cries wolf” for attention…don’t completely disagree there. She’s #TeamThomas, obvs. Segue to Kathryn’s confessional calmly explaining her hospital stay. To be fair, it is common knowledge that pregnant women need a safe stable environment during the pregnancy. That is not TRav’s number one priority; I’m not even sure that it is really Kathryn’s either. When Thomas calls to inform Kathryn that he signed the lease for her Mt. Pleasant house she was all sweetness & sugar…manipulation or relief???
The time finally arrived for the Flamingo Party! Pink everywhere. How amazing were Ms. Pat’s watermelon stilettos? I NEED these! Patricia informs the photographer that the logical place for her picture is at the bar…a woman after my own heart. Thomas seems to be pimping Landon out to a young friend, Josh, with a ponytail. #hardpass Thomas cheekily states the he & Landon are “just” friends. Shep showed up in a 70’s era prom shirt in flamingo pink, to which Landon immediately turns her nose up at the gal hitting on Shep. Me too girl! Naomie couldn’t make the party & sent Craig with a Pimp Cup as a gift for Ms. Pat, which she immediately hid & forgot about. Out of sight, out of mind. Thomas insults Whitney’s friend that is running for Miss USA…I, for once, agree with everything he said about the pageant. Cam arrived fashionably late, just in time to see Shep molest the flamingo floats in the pool. Craig inadvertently passed along Jennifer’s “mis-information”, regarding KDen’s hospital stay, to Thomas, thus the drama really begins.
After coming back from the commercial break, Bailey interrogates Landon’s intentions towards Shep. Landon deny, deny, denies that she has feelings for Shep. #liar Shep, Cameran, Craig, & Landon visit the Fortune Teller & her boobs. Cooper pulls Patricia aside to ask if she was mad at him for befriending Kathryn. She is mad, but played it cool. Cooper hit the nail on the head with the Patricia/Kathryn situation; basically intimating that Kathryn is the modern day version of Patricia. #goals Ms. Pat thinks he’s the poor man’s Truman Capote. Somehow, Cam manages to fall into the boxwoods…was she that drunk? Low & behold, Jennifer arrived super late to stir sh*t up. In his confessional, Thomas actually stood up for Kathryn not being invited to the party, but Snowden was.
Jennifer saddled right up to JD & Elizabeth to play dumb regarding Kathryn’s dramatic Polo exit. She is such a two-faced b*tch. Meanwhile, Landon fed Thomas everything he wanted to hear in regards to Jennifer’s meddling. TRav confronted JSnow about her call to Craig; of course she denied everything without managing to throw Craig under the bus. Jenn’s only valid point was that Thomas needs to step up to the fatherhood plate. Jennifer chalks everything up to a big misunderstanding & called Thomas a bully. I’m so sick of everyone misusing the word “bully.” Look it up people. These people are narcissists, not bullies. Jennifer may be more of a masochist…just sayin’. Their arguing escalates to the point where it becomes awkward for all the other party goers. Way to ruin the fun guys. Quick Cameran, fall into the bushes again!
All the other guests are irritated; poor Thomas is so flustered that he actually ordered water from the bartender! What is happening right now? Meanwhile, Jennifer is hiding behind the bushes reporting back to Kathryn, which I’m sure is oh so helpful to her pregnancy. I kid, I kid. Patricia passive aggressively egged her on until Jennifer leaves of her own accord.
Favorite Tweets from the night:
Next week’s previews look awesome & show that #NewLandon < #OldLandon.
What did y’all think of tonight’s show? Until next time…