Southern Charm Recap: A Shepic Party for Blandon

We start with everyone’s morning routines, as usual, but this particular morning is the hangover day after Patricia’s Flamingo Party…I could have lived my whole life without seeing TRav in his bedtime state of undress.  I do like that Bravo starts each episode the same way every week, in the morning.  The charmers drink coffee with whipped cream just like the rest of us.  In the aftermath of the party, Michael & Patricia discovered that someone messed on Ms. Pat’s sofa.  Moving on, we find Craig & Naomie packing up their meager belongings because someone bought their house – that was quick, y’all.  I’m pretty sure Naomie actually used the word “funner” & now she has gone down a notch on my scorecard.  You know we all have one…Landon is losing big time.  Craig compares living in a home for sale to being on the run. #newcraig  They are now moving on to a fixer upper in Mt. Pleasant…maybe Chip & Joanna will fix it up for them.  Naomie asked Craig how the [Flamingo] party was, to which he confessed to accidentally starting the drama betwixt Thomas & Jennifer.  He attempted to explain Whitney’s hatred for Kathryn; I’ve gotta say what Craig says makes a lot of sense.  Basically, Kathryn has a magical vagina that Whitney can’t seem to forgive & forget.  Also, Naomie doesn’t look thrilled that Craig compared his women (past & present?) to trophies.  Que to Whitney calling Larissa to double-check that she still exists.

Kathryn & Cooper met for lunch & both looked fab!  If Kathryn is struggling for money so much, why the hell did she buy herself a Birkin bag?  Is she using it as a diaper bag too?  Does Dave Ramsey know about this?  A fellow reader reminded me that Kathryn did say it was a Faux Birkin.  What’s with Cooper’s hair this season?  Cooper proceeds to fill Kathryn in on what she missed at the “tacky” Flamingo Party.  Apparently, Ms. Pat talks of nothing but Kathryn, martinis, & animals. #goals  I agree with Cooper, that Patricia sees a bit of herself in KDen, the “Carolina Bobcat.”  However, if you truly care, you can check out Patricia’s Wikipedia page.  I wonder if she wrote it herself?  Over at Pat’s house, Michael suggests a party each week, guess he’s not hungover.  Whitney stops by, unshaven much to Pat’s dismay.  Naturally, they had a martini, & as kettles, called the pots black.  Back at lunch, Cooper made his distaste for JSnow known.  Kathryn is just trying to figure out who her friends are.

Meanwhile, Bailey stopped by Shep’s to paint a portrait of him for his birthday.  I’m already sick of Bailey, she is taking up all of my Sheppy-Poo’s time. 😉  Shep says that he enjoys spending time with Bailey because she is fashionable, hip, & DTF.  Those are some pretty low standards my boy.  At least he giggled as he said it. #so2000&late

Landon has proclaimed herself to be Shep’s party planner for his birthday…a disco roller rink party with a disco party bus.  Whitney points out that this is Landon’s dream party, not Shep’s. #duh  Over in Shep’s neck of the cobble-stoned streets, he takes us around the corner to The Palace Hotel; it is his neighborhood bar & his bar. #congrats  Cameran stops by to have lunch with Shep on the patio & to discuss their partnershep.  “Idle time is the Devil’s playground,” according to Cam.  Shep & Cam shook on their partnershep with spit, which I guess makes them blood brothers?  Once again, Cameran tries to marry Shep off to the next woman they see, aka Bailey. #boohiss  Cam rats Craig out by notifying Shep that his perfect life is married with 3 kids, living on the beach.  I’m available.  Have your people call my people.  Shep corrects the story, 2 kids.  Throughout this entire meal, they speak with their mouths full…we don’t like that kind of “sea food.”  Get it?  The show moves on to moving day for both Thomas & Kathryn…at their separate residences.  Kathryn’s house is so cute!  Her movers are so nice to voluntarily check her boxes for bugs.  Contrarily, Thomas has to give his movers Google maps to maneuver through his maze of a mansion.

After the commercial break, we’re back at Craig & Naomie’s.  They are chowing down on gelato (Naomie) & Ben & Jerry’s (Craig).  #newcraig loves his job with Gentry, but would rather be drinking selling the Bourbon.  Kathryn got a call from Danni wanting to catch up, so she whips on over for a chat.  Danni has missed KDen, but neither has reached out.  Kathryn has felt left out of the group, to which Danni quickly points out that the last 2 years have been the Thomas & Kathryn Show, & not everyone is a fan.  The group is nervous because they don’t know which Kathryn they are going to get.  She’s volatile y’all…redheads & all that.  Danni advises Kathryn to start approaching the group one-on-one.  She assures Danni that little Thomas will be WAY cooler than that old TRav.

Meanwhile, over at Thomas’ place Landon stops by, gushing about how stunning his house is. #girlplease #weseeyou  PS – Kinsie’s room is the least periwinkle I’ve ever seen…in my book that is lavender.  Landon invites Thomas to Shep’s birthday, but he can’t go because he is parenting that weekend.  #dadproblems  When TRav asked if Kathryn was invited, her response was, “It’s nice of you to ask, but why do you care if she’s invited?”  Jealous much?  Y’all, Landon is acting like a girlfriend who is jealous of her boyfriend’s ex.  Apparently Kathryn was initially upset because Landon posted a picture of her & Thomas together in London, which KDen took as a direct blow.  Over at Cameran’s house, she received a phone call from Kathryn to invite her to coffee or lunch.  Cameran’s reaction was so disheartening. 😦  I felt so bad from Kathryn, Cam turned her down flat.  I think this could have been a conversation Cameran could have had with Kathryn in person at, oh I don’t know, coffee or lunch?  This scene was hard to watch.

At Landon’s house she practiced roller skating around her house while finalizing the party details…I’ve never wanted someone to fall so hard.  While Shep was getting ready, Whitney calls to wish him a Happy Birthday.  Shep is flattered that Landon wanted to throw him a party, but “does she even know me at all?”  He obviously wanted a skate boarding party instead.  Craig has decided to wear the tightest purple jeggings for the disco roller party.  Sadly, Shep was the first person to arrive at his party while Landon picked up the disco cupcakes using her dolphin voice. #thankskathryn  I felt bad for Shep’s sad party shenanigans.  Craig & Shep threw Landon under the disco bus by pointing out that the party was in fact for her.  Landon continually dodged questions about Kathryn’s invite.  Shep is “inclusive & a man,” so understandably he is bummed that all his party people were not included on the list.

At the roller rink, everyone was upset that there was no booze allowed.  Way to go Landon, way to go.  Craig is impressively good a roller skating, while everyone else showed their age & how long it’s been since they’ve been to the rink.  Craig is like the guys at the rink, who are really good & go around help the newbies, & lead the limbo & hokey-pokey during the group skates.  Shep is still pissed that Landon planned a party that he had no interest in.  Know your audience girl!  Craig feels bad that everyone is being so mean to Kathryn; Cam admitted that she is avoiding KDen because she has offended Whitney & Patricia.  Basically, Cameran is mad by association & taking it a to a Regina George level.  While everyone is eating fried concession stand food (delicious BTW), Bailey presents her hideous painting to Shep, which he declares the best gift he’s ever received.  Landon’s jealous reaction was the best part of tonight’s episode.  Shortly thereafter, Shep called Kathryn to check-in on her ETA.  KDen responded that she was never invited, & Shep was justifiably pissed!  Landon got caught in her little white lies.  Good for Shep, Danni, & Craig for standing up for Kathryn.

Favorite Tweets of the night: SC - Week 5

I think tonight’s episode said WAY more about Landon than it did about Kathryn.  I’m ready to vote her off the historic, cobble-stone street.  What did y’all think?

Stop by on Thursday morning for my RHONY Recap, & again on Saturday for my Take It or Leave It of the week.  Until next time, have a good one.

Kiss Hug,

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One thought on “Southern Charm Recap: A Shepic Party for Blandon

  1. The only issue I have with your recap (hilariously true btw) was when you mentioned Kathryn’s new handbag. Did you miss her commentary that it’s faux real and even spells out that it’s f-a-u-x because it’s all about image with these people? I was thinking the same thing you were at first until she said that. Landon is so jealous over what Kathryn and Thomas HAD and Cam has just gone full on mean girl…perhaps because she has been up Patricia’s derrière lately.

    Liked by 1 person

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