This episode was clearly tossed in the mix to provide a little relief from all the drama. Although it was dull, I shall recap for y’all anyway because I’m a giver.
As per ushe, the show begins with the Charmers starting their day. Shep awakens around 1p, Whitney is attempting to put together an IKEA table, Thomas is adding to his lamp graveyard, Cameran is kicking yoga’s ass, & Craig’s alarm is going off. Craig reaches over to wake Naomie; y’all, he clearly doesn’t live by the mantra “True love means letting her sleep.” What is with their house? Have they moved? Are they still packing? I can’t with the mess & chaos. Craig slips Naomie’s promise ring into his watch jewelry box for her to find. She immediately spots it & cries; on a side note, Craig has seen (& wants to be in) every romantic comedy…maybe he’d make it on the Hallmark Channel? He proceeded to boast that JD will soon name him Head of the Bourbon Division of Gentry…Craig, Craig, Craig…so delusional. “You are crushing life right now,” says Naomie (I say on opposite day).
Cameran arrives at a house evaluation/showing that Shep is also supposed to be at. He’s at home making breakfast, horribly cracking eggs into a bowl with the barcode still on it. Does anyone on this show use the stuff in their kitchens? He just needs my domestic touch. 😉 On the phone, Cam screeches incoherently at him to get his booty in gear, but Shep is “schloshed,” according to Cam. Shep to the viewers, “I’m always a little hungover.” When he arrived at the mansion, Shepperoni questioned Cameran on her convo with Kathryn. They both want to stay out of it, but Cam doesn’t mind being harsh whereas my dreamboat wants to be inclusive.
Cue to Kathryn attempting to pull Kensie out of a tantrum, good luck Mama! The nanny’s head shake at the sink was awesome. KDen reconsiders those she has cut out of her life, & sought to reconcile with Elizabeth. Kathryn admitted that she distanced herself from Elizabeth because JD is TRav’s BFF; Kathryn got a lot of heat for this on Twitter, but I would have done the same thing in her situation. It wasn’t personal, it was for the sanity of her family. Anyways, Lizzy-Lou was thrilled to hear from KDen.
Back on the real estate trail, Cam is schooling Shep by explaining that people paint their porch ceiling light blue, aka the color of Heaven to “keep the evil spirits away.” As someone who had a short career in Interior Design, I call BS – I paint the ceiling blue to keep bugs & birds from building nests. It tricks the critters into thinking it is the sky. Inside the beautiful home, Cameran introduces Shep to pocket doors. I LOVE pockets doors! For real. For real. I was, however, educated on what a Charleston Window is…great concept. Are those still made? I want them. Shep questioned Cam’s pricing technique in front of the client – not cool buddy. She handled him with tact.
Over at Landon’s McMansion, she is packing for her trip to NYC while on the phone with her Dad. She is planning to meet with Lockhart (such interesting names on this show) to pitch her online magazine. Landon is impressed with herself…too bad she’s the only one. Her dad tells her not to use this as an excuse to buy new clothes while in the Big Apple. Little does he know that that was probably the only good thing she did while she was there. Meanwhile, over at Gentry Craig & JD meet to discuss the Hotel renovation & a Bourbon Tasting. JD basically wants Craig to send out an evite for the Tasting, & bring on Danni as a consultant as she is booze royalty (I knew I liked her). JD maniacally laughs while telling Craig “not to reinvent the wheel, just add air to the tires.” #thatlaughtho JD seems to forget that Craig has bought into this company & deserves more than being his gopher.
Kathryn stops by Elizabeth’s for a chat. How do those boys stay so clean? Liz points out, to her son Levi, that Kathryn has a baby in her belly. He promptly asks how it got there, haha! Kathryn oddly got shy once the boys went inside; perhaps shy isn’t the right word – she was contrite. Elizabeth asked why she was shunned by KDen. Kathryn admitted that she went through a phase of pushing people away because it was easier & safer for her at the time. I get that…especially with this crew. Lizzy-Lou reminds her that she will never turn her back on Kathryn or Kensie. I believe her. Elizabeth is such a class act. They cry & hug it out. This scene was heart-felt, heart-warming, & probably the most genuine thing we’ve seen thus far this season.
Shep popped over to check out Thomas’ new house. Yolanda’s Fridge is cringing at TRav’s basic GE. Love that Thomas insists on using coasters for their beers in his formal parlor. Thomas spouts some nonsense to Shep about caring for Kathryn & oxygen not getting to the baby if she gets riled up. The look on Sheppy-Poo’s face is hysterical. However, Shep is trying to be Kissinger, & mediate among the group even though he thinks TRav is being a little melodramatic. Nice Kissinger reference, Sheppy. They wonder if there will ever be peace between Thomas & Kathryn, much like the Middle East. In New York, Landon arrived to meet with Lockhart. He could not be less interested in this pitch. Landon basically wants to create a lovechild of People Magazine & Twitter, but as an online magazine with a subscription. Lockhart quickly gives it a hard pass & dismisses Landon as a legit business person.
Cameran, Whitney, & Shep met for Bloody Mary’s. Who knew Shepperoni didn’t do Bloody’s – we have that in common, it’s fate y’all. Apparently, Craig is worried they won’t show to the Tasting. They all question what he’s doing…is he a whiskey maker? A hotelier? An almost lawyer? I would make a fantastic hotelier, & bourbon taster for that matter. Also, Shep wants to plan an Appalachian (never heard it pronounced that way) weekend in Linville, North Carolina. My friend Paige insisted that Appa-Lach-in is the proper way to pronounce & I am saying it wrong. I would like everyone to come to Texas & say for me Bexar County, Waxahachie, Mexia, Nacogdoches, Kuykendahl Rd, Manchaca Rd. & tell me how they think it should be pronounced. Just sayin… Cam & Whitney promptly shoot down the idea of hiking. They also balk at the idea of having to drive 4 1/2 hours to get there. I’ll go – hand raised! Cameran & Whitney insist on Kathryn not being invited (not sure if this was only a stipulation if Thomas was going); Shep reminds them that he is sympathetic towards KDen. Do they like anyone or anything at this point?
It’s Tasting time & Craig had lots of questions regarding the barrels. He is like a kid in a candy store, or a frat guy at the bar. What the hell is JD wearing on his head? Is that a cowboy hat? A safari hat? A fedora? All three? Craig questions JD about the amount of stock they have, why that was his first time to see it, were there purchase orders, etc. All valid questions for a co-owner. The Charmers slowly arrived. #NewCraig wants to be a bourbon distiller, not a hotelier & proceeded to make that known. Cameran compares bourbon tasting to “rating a chick.” Is this Hot or Not? Craig corners Danni to pick her brain about the booze industry. JD puts Danni in charge of Craig’s table, which makes everyone super uncomfortable.
As the night wears on, Craig becomes more & more agitated by his treatment from JD. Whitney clearly does not like bourbon as he compared it to the smell of napalm. Is he allowed to say that? Yikes. Okay, so Craig is somewhat justified being annoyed with JD. However, he doesn’t even know the difference between whiskey & bourbon. How in the world he thought he could run the division in just 6 episodes is nuts. Naomie doesn’t seem to be thrilled that Craig is turning to Danni for advice. Danni’s advice is spot on, as she points out that it is not about just “knowing the bartender.” After sensing frustration, Shep pulled Craig aside to give him some brotherly props & advice to “shoe-horning his way into the business.” You have to bring something to the table to get rewarded with more responsibility. Aww, Craig thought he was apart of the team, but feels like he doesn’t even have an assigned seat. Sad face. JD approached Danni to be the VP of Gentry Bourbon, seemingly behind Craig’s back, but in plain sight. Danni was clearly uncomfortable & not that interested.
Over at the other table, Shep & Naomie disect his birthday debacle & Landon’s thought process. Verdict – they think she’s a loveable ding-bat. JD pulled Craig aside to explain to him that he needs to slow his roll. Craig pointed out that he planned the Tasting, which in the real world would not qualify him for running the division, but maybe running the PR. As ushe, Craig put the cart before the horse. Naomie questions Craig’s bruised ego. Basically, he is not crushing at life right now. She cried as she realized her promise ring dreams got crushed. Does Craig have pink eye? One eye is totally bloodshot.
My favorite Tweets from the night are below:
What did y’all think about the previews for the rest of the season? Sheptastic or Landumb?
Check back on Wednesday/Thursday morning for my RHONY recap, & again on Saturday for my Take It or Leave It of the week.