RHONY Recap: Are You Tipsy, Girl?

Tonight’s episode began with Sonja getting her weekly facial from everyone’s favorite Gossiping Esthetician, Satoko.  Was Satoko trying to say “placenta,” but it came out as “pracenta?”  I don’t blame her for not using it anymore – gross.  During the facial, Sonja discussed her birthday plans with an intern…is it normal to invite your facial guru to a party?   Over at Carole’s, the women show up, one by one, for a psychic reading luncheon with Kim Russo.  What was with that handshake, Dorinda?  What the hell was Bethenny wearing?  That turtleneck was out of control.  According to Jules it’s not very Jewish to see a psychic; she would know because she’s Asian.  Kim told Jules that she will be role model for women.  Moving on…  “I know I’m very popular with the other world,” says Dorinda.  Love it.  She has far too many John’s in her life.  Ramona barges in (her M.O. right?), loud as can be, totally disrespectful of the readings from Psychic Kim.  Kim touches on “R & R” which was Richard & Robert, Dorinda’s deceased husband & his brother. #spooky #cowinkydink

Kim mentions coins to Dorinda, & she loses her shit.  Obviously, it’s sentimental to D as she takes finding any loose change as a sign from Richard…it’s kind of sweet in a creepy sort of way.  The psychic proceeds to inform the group that Richard thinks John is “good for now”, but he can’t provide D with the safety she needs.  Surprisingly, I think Dorinda agrees.  Kim moves on to Bethenny & feels like she is blocking her, but not on purpose.  Um, considering B doesn’t buy into all this, I’d say it was very much on purpose.  Psychic Kim kept mentioning the “death of a man” & B actually had to look up the anniversary of her father’s death.  I remember my own father’s death like it happened yesterday.  February 16, 2008 at 1:32pm.  All our friends & family gathered to say goodbye & then they “pulled the plug.”  So, I don’t buy Bethenny’s nonchalant act.  Ramona chimed in to inform Kim that B & her dad had a strained relationship.  ‘Mona, the first rule of psychic readings is don’t give them any info to work with up front, duh.  Bethenny wasn’t surprised by anything, & ended up being disappointed overall…perhaps she missed a few things while she was texting or checking email on her phone?  Apparently B’s father wants tell her that she will get married again, but both Kim & Bethenny disagree (B vehemently so).

Dorinda pipes up asking if she’ll get remarried, to which the psychic says “not to John.”  Ramona just can’t seem to keep her big mouth shut, & says “Thank God!”   Cue the awkward silence for a beat, & then Dorinda derailing the rest of the reading by giving Ramona the riot act.  Okay, so everyone agrees with Ramona, but she shouldn’t have said that (as per ushe); however, Dorinda’s reaction was completely disproportionate to the situation.  She’s had enough y’all.  She said that John thinks Ramona is a bitch (I don’t disagree), & brought up the fact that Mario cheated on Ramona in their marital bed.  I LOVED the psychic’s reaction, “It had to be said.”  Carole was so embarrassed by her cast mates friends.  Kim can see Ramona getting remarried…God help us all.  Bethenny left early to pick up Bryn, & the only thing she liked about the party was the cheese platter.  Psychic Kim brought up that Ramona’s father died of a heart attack & was upset that he didn’t get to say goodbye.  She cried…reminiscent of her episode in the woods.  I thought Ramona’s father was abusive & they weren’t close?  Dorinda butts in again to bring up John…we get it, ENOUGH!

Next up, Carole joined Jules for lunch at her apartment.  Several things: 1) Jules didn’t know what an iPod was?  What is she a millenial who only listens to music from a streaming source or the cloud or whatever?  2) She’s Asian, which she never lets us forget,  & she didn’t know how to make tea?  I’m questioning if she really even knew how to boil water.  3) All of her homes seem to be “unfinished.”  Her word, not mine.  I could not live like that.  Jules did put together a lovely Schmear-getzborg, which neither ate.  They discussed Psychic Kim, but of course “Jews don’t want to know their fate.”  Y’all, is Jules a Jewish Asian?  I feel like I’ve hear that somewhere.  I kid, I kid…  Carole wanted to sage her apartment after the readings due to Dorinda’s thugishness & the Ramona-Coaster.  Jules confessed to Carole that she has struggled with Anorexia.  Carole observed that Jules has a relationship with food, & over-compensates for guests by always setting out an abundance.  I call that being a good host, but I’m from the South & that’s just good manners to us.  I loved when Carole advised Jules to “articulate your suffering in a way that emancipates & empowers other women.” #preach  Jules could so easily use her story to help others & potentially save a life.  That would be the best outcome from all of her pain.  It was a nice little bonding moment for them & us as the viewers.

Across town, Dorinda & John meet up for date night.  Did he shine his iPhone flashlight in her face & ask the server if she was hot or not?  #awkwardforall #embarrassingtoo  Oh, worse the light came from his glasses…why?  “You’re definitely finding this stuff in Queens,” says Dorinda.  I die!  Once again, D asked John to call a truce between him & Ramona.  They both seem to get annoyed by each of them interrupting the other.  They are so not a good fit.  If the whole world is against John, then he is the problem, not the whole world…think about it Dorinda.Poodles

They both fight for the attention in the conversation, relationship, etc.  This better not be NY’s version of Munchhausen.  Dorinda is clearly exhausted from defending Juicy John to the women.  The smartest thing she’s done this season was walk out of that dinner date.  The next morning (i assume) Sonja is getting her makeup done.  Did she really just tell the makeup artist that she’s allergic to make up & proceed to clean her nose with q-tips?  Girl, be respectful – use a tampon to plug that runny nose.  Sonja is planning to announce her newest venture at her birthday party.  Meanwhile, across a rainy NYC there is a SkinnyGirl event with a SG Food Truck.  I love that B gave her team credit where credit was due.  I appreciate that so much!

We finally arrive at Sonja’s birthday party.  Ramona’s business partner was there taking his turn at hitting on Sonja, with a sexy J.  Sorry dude, she likes them a lot little younger. Shortly after Dorinda,  John arrived with his skeeviness in tact.  Once again, Jules’ weight is a topic for a joke – to her face.  I have to think that comments like that would be detrimental to Jules’ recovery.  They all need sensitivity training…jeez, Louise!  Ramona arrived & immediately started bitching about Luann’s gift for her birthday.  Three things: 1) You are stealing the spotlight from Sonja’s birthday…rude  2)  You are now in your fifties, aren’t you too old to expect a gift?  I didn’t see one for Sonja from you.  3) Ramona was so rude & condescending to Sonja!

Luann arrived, in a crazy outfit but with great hair, & pulled Ramona aside.  She confronted Miss Turtle Time about her jealousy concern over Lu & Sonja living together.  In Ramona’s confessional she sniped that “she’s not like them; she doesn’t go out until 4am & bring home every guy she meets.”  She says all this while not making eye contact with the camera, so I have to wonder…  Ramona may not do that, but she flirts with EVERY man she meets, regardless of his status.  She does anything to get to get a man’s attention, even if she steps on her friends to do it.  Love that Jules eavesdropped on their convo & relayed it to her husband in real time.  Ramona, as the pot, should not be calling anyone’s kettle black…you hear what I’m screaming?   In front of ‘Mona, Dorinda asks Luann if she heard about the necklace story.  I loved this because it is such a Ramona move & D turned the tables on her.  Ramona does not understand the concept of re-gifting.  Lu took it in stride.  Cue to Sonja’s boast about her past life toast & announced her new venture: TipsyGirl Prosecco!  I actually think “Tipsy Girl” is cute, but you know Queen B is going to be pissed – can’t wait for next week!

Okay, my favorite Tweets from the night are below & by request, larger!  RH Week 6.1RH Week 6.2RH Week 6.3RH week 6.4RH Week 6.5

What did y’all think of tonight’s show?

Please check back on Saturday for my TIoLI of the week.  Until next time…

Kiss Hug,

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