Southern Charm Recap: Landon Lied & Whitney Cried

As per ushe, we began with everyone’s morning rituals.  Did anyone else notice TRav’s neon polka dot glasses, or Cameran cringing while cooking put chicken in the crock-pot?  Whit ate some egg whites (I’m guessing it was two whites with one yolk), Kathryn tickled Kensie, & Shep & Craig met for a bro-brunch.  Shep ordered a pina coloda to chase away his bourbon fog?  Craigy-Poo & Sheppy-Poo rehashed the Gentry Bourbon tasting; Shep basically told Craig that he wasn’t ready for that much responsibility & should be studying for the Bar Exam…he’s not wrong.  Shep invited Craig & Naomie to his mountain home in Linville, NC.  Craig asked if it was to cheer him up…seriously?  I don’t think Shep is quite that interested in his life.  Shep clearly struggled with being Mr. Inclusive & inviting Kathryn to the cabin, but he took his favorite high road & lucky for his guilty conscience the group she was on bed rest & couldn’t go.  Saved by doctor’s orders!  If it were me, I would have invited everyone regardless of what Whitney & Cam wanted.  As my dad used to say, “They can get glad in the same britches they got mad in.”  This week Craig was Kissinger of the group.  Over across the Ravenel Bridge, Thomas arrived at KDen’s place to put the new baby’s crib together.  They actually had a civil, sweet moment as he put it together.  She actually said that he should go to the mountains, aww kiss hug.  Look at them adulting…so cute.  However, Thomas ruined the moment in his confessional calling himself TRav & Kathryn T-Rex.  Ugh, with this man-child!

Next up Cameran had a counseling session to discuss her mothering fears.  Okay, so I think every woman in their early 30’s has had the internal “should I or should I not” battle.  If you make it to 30 without having a child, you are really set in your ways, know what you want out of life (for the most part), & more readily realize what you’d be “giving up” for motherhood…maybe that’s just me?  On the one hand, kids are sweet & innocent (especially when they snuggle), but on the other hand they are so gross (when they’re eating & pooping).  Cam is worried that she is either not maternal or her lack of her maternal instinct is based in fear.  She basically doesn’t want to give up control (a result from her parents’ divorce), but her husband’s clock is ticking.

On the phone with his mom, Shep checked in on the “condition” of the mountain home.  It needs to be enough to impress Whitney.  Meanwhile, Landon stopped by her sister Bam’s house & went straight for the wine.  Seriously, WTF are these names about?  Bam looks nothing like Landon, but never the less, she asked about Landon’s trip to NYC to which she replied that it went well.  Really???  Was she at the same meeting I watched, while peeking around the pillow over my face from embarrassment for her?  Like, she totally failed that interview, right?  Is it my imagination, or is Landon’s online travel magazine awfully similar to Conde NastTown&Country?  Switching topics, Landon asked Bam if she had met Craig’s girlfriend; then compared Naomie to Kathryn basically slut shaming KDen by saying she’s only good at one thing.  Shame, shame, I know your name Landon.  Pot meet kettle.  Side note:  I think Landon would be a perfect contestant on The Bachelor.

Over at Kathryn’s, Craig stopped by to chat/do some investigative questioning.  Did anyone notice that Craig drank out of a WWHL Mazel glass?  Big Boss Andy should be thrilled.  So, did Craig stop by just to stir the pot by telling KDen that Whitney refused to go to the country if Kathryn came?  Was that really necessary?  However, it lead us to the truth; therefore, I am greatful for #newCraig’s meddling ways!  Way to be that almost lawyer!  So here’s the low-down: Kathryn had a one night stand with Thomas first.  A week later she hooked up with Whitney & essentially moved into Patricia’s for another week or so.  Ms. Pat, Whit, & house guest Robert loved, & approved, of Kathryn’s Calhoun lineage.  Are we in a Jane Austen novel?  I guess I’m not a TSD…  So, during this week long affair Whitney developed strong feelings for our favorite redhead.  Cue to a pool party, where she went as Whitney’s date, but left with TRav.  Kathryn intentionally went to that party with Thomas’ BFF to get revenge…worked like a charm.  Whitney tossed her to the curb quicker than a Texas tornado.  He also made it clear that he didn’t want anyone to know about their affair, so Kathryn has kept mum all this time about the specifics, which effectively made her the pariah of the group.  KDen confessed to Craig that what she did was screwed up, but I think if she was following Whitney’s lead then she did no more damage than he did.  He is clearly just butt hurt over the situation…still.  If Whitney didn’t want to deal with her on some level, then I would think as Executive Producer of the show, she would be gone.  He’s now using her, equally as much, for a paycheck.  Although, I do feel his distaste for Kathryn is somewhat more justified now…egos & all that.  #newCraigcalledit

On a side note, I have a theory about Thomas & Kathryn.  When all of this started Kathryn was a wee young babe of 21.  Thomas being a 50-something year old politician swindled charmed young Kathryn.  Once she realized what happened, a) it was too late as she was already pregnant; b) she reacted as someone her age would react.  Not that Thomas has come off looking like an angel, but he has taken far less damage to his standing in the group & his reputation as a whole & has actively campaigned to make Kathryn look crazy, when really she just acted her age.  Whitney’s ego took a bruising because Kathryn chose his friend; his feelings are justified but his treatment, of KDen, 3 years later…not so much.  We were all horrible in our early 20’s.  Some of this group, ahem Whitney & Thomas, are still horrible well into their 40’s & 50’s.  #TeamKathryn

Next we see the Charmer’s packing rituals…surprisingly minimalistic.  “In true Shep fashion” they headed to the mountains on a party bus.  Craig & Naomie were the only ones to over pack “for a trip to Siberia.”  On the bus, they immediately started drinking, as expected.  #fratboylifestyle  Landon is excited JD is coming, “because he’s wild,” completely ignoring the fact that Craig is uncomfortable.  Talk turns to Shep’s relationship with Bailey; as much as I love Sheppy & dislike Bailey, this conversation makes my heart smile because Landon is SO green with envy.  As a viewer, I love to watch her squirm when being confronted with Shep’s love life.  Craig then makes the mistake of confusing Asheville, NC with Nashville, TN.  Y’all give him a break – he’s new, he doesn’t know what to do.  He is a Yankee after all…  Loved Shep’s confessional snark. #runningabourbonbusiness  At the hotel, I think Whitney called ahead & stole Shep’s room with a mountain view…typical Whit.  Thomas met up with the group & they all hit the booming metropolis of Asheville.  TRav promptly disgusted us all by hitting on two children young girls.  Thomas & Whitney drunkenly discussed their hatred for Bluegrass…us too guys, us too.  Who knew Jenga could be a euphemism for sex?  My delicate sensibilities may never recover.  JD & Elizabeth joined the group…why does JD slap so many asses?  The group asked Thomas to order something in French…y’all, after 3 years of Spanish, I speak better French than Thomas.  Shep’s friend John told Cameran that he didn’t think Shep could settle down.  Landon forcefully laughed the loudest, which caught Cam’s attention because as everyone can see, Landon hearts Shep.

Craig asked TRav why he wasn’t staying the entire weekend, within Whitney’s hearing range, which mildly set both guys off.  Craig nailed it when he said Whit is “completely irrational when it comes to Kathryn.”  Thomas was actually trying to be a decent adult, by not staying the night since he knew it would upset KDen.  Cue rolling eyes from Whitney, Landon, & Cameran.  The guys & Landon moved on to another bar to see a cool band.  TRav danced with a woman who promptly dumped him for Shep.  Thomas slapped her on the ass, she threatened to cut him with a knife, & something else happened relating to vampires (I couldn’t quite catch what they were saying).  I can now say I’ve watched Twilight.  The next morning, before Thomas left, he told Shep that Landon admitted to excluding Kathryn from his birthday party.  TRav is no longer interested in Landon (for now)…there goes that money train.  In the clear light of day, Cameran & Whitney decided to rent a car.  According to Cam, they realized just how skinny those mountain roads are.

Y’all, Linville only has one stop light – I think that’s what we call a one horse town in Texas.  Shep shared some really sweet memories from growing in the country.  He totally downplayed the magnificence of this “cabin”…mountain chateau might be more accurate.  Best quote of the night came from Craig, “I’m so glad you’re not poor.”  I died!  Even Whitney was impressed.  Landon & Danni promptly headed out to the porch for a nap.  JD pulled Craig aside for a little chat about Gentry.  JD basically said that Craig needs some more apprenticeship, & that they really need Danni on board to move Gentry to the forefront of bourbon.  Back in Charleston, JSnow swung by Kathryn’s to catch up on all the gossip.  Jennifer basically stirred up a bunch of shit…quietly.  She is surprised by every nice thing Thomas does for KDen & voices those opinions, putting doubts in Kathryn’s head.  #yeahthatsnice

Back in the Appalachians, who knew Craig was such a cook?  Why the hell is Landon walking around in an over sized sweat shirt & nothing else? #desperate  Shep quietly confronted Landon about invite-gate.  She was proven to be a liar.  At dinner, they ate, drank, & Craig confronted the Kathryn situation.  As usual, everyone accused Kathryn of manipulating Thomas with the children, then Craig dropped a bomb on the group & called Whitney out for being butt hurt. #amazing  Naomie was less than impressed.

My favorite Tweets from the night: SC - Week 7.1SC - Week 7.2

What did y’all think of tonight’s episode?  We seemed to take along time to get to the good stuff this week!

Kiss Hug,

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One thought on “Southern Charm Recap: Landon Lied & Whitney Cried

  1. Kathryn is the poster child for deceit. She intentionally trapped Thomas, by getting pregnant. The second baby is just icing on the cake for Kathryn. Be careful what you entrap, most of them bite! Stop using your kids as FREAKING BARGAINING CHIPS!!!! It’s disgusting. You can not make a man love you, so stop trying (it’s embarrassing and humiliating). Why anyone would want a forced love in lieu of , a love that is givin freely eludes me.

    Liked by 1 person

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