Southern Charm Recap: the Wrath of TRav

First off I want to apologize for being a bit absent on the blog front last week.  I work a full time job & babysit to earn extra fun money & I never turn down an opportunity to earn extra moo-la.  I was house sitting/dog sitting & there was bad reception.  😦  Therefore, blogging sometimes takes a back seat…unless someone would like to start paying me for this blog?  Bueller?  Bueller?

On to our episode…it was the highly anticipated TRav dinner party from Hell.  Let me tell you, it did not disappoint!

Whitney gave Mama P a new pug puppy – so cute!  Did anyone else recall the scene from Friends, with Phoebe & the pug? phoebe

Thomas confronted JD on the paternity questioning – for once Thomas was 100% right.  JD should be a better friend than that. He should know that a dinner party was not the right time or place, especially considering how much hate Whitney & Patricia have for Kathryn. #notcoolbro  This time Thomas decides he’s going to host the party to celebrate Julien’s birth.  Meanwhile, Landon stops by Bam’s house to get naked wasted.  Bam’s has some good advice for her big sis & some not so good advice.  Good: get a real job & earn a steady paycheck like a normal person.  Bad: get drunk & bang Shep to see if he loves her back.  Shep has a similar convo with Cameran, but she adamantly says that he should not shove her in a closet for heavy petting.  Bam

TRav headed over to Kathryn’s to discuss the party guest list.  Whitney & Ms. Pat are not invited because they have been ugly to Kathryn, She mentally cheers!  But, Landon already has her monogrammed invitation sent by courier pigeons.  Thomas thinks Blandon & KDen should be BFF & need to move past their issues.  Kathryn is maintains that she is not fluent in dolphin, & therefore it is never gonna happen.  KDen refuses to go to the party if Landon is going to be there, which turns Thomas into T-Rex.  He storms out the window, yes the window.  You read that correctly.  This was just so absurd to me.  Kathryn calmly (for her) talked TRav off the ledge (roof? bush?) & back into the room.  What floor were they on?  Kathryn maturely capitulates to TRav’s wishes & says Landon can come.

There was a boring part here…my boyfriend Shep wasn’t on the screen so I played Spite & Malice on my phone.  Oh, but Landon was invited to Patricia’s for her condolences for Shep’s lack of requited love.  Pat then offered Thomas up a backup.  My favortie line that Landon has ever uttered, “Being sexy makes me uncomfortable.”  Side bar: I would watch an entire show of Patricia giving True Southern Debutantes makeovers, starting with Landon.

Shepperoni’s mom is the best!  He was a jerk for making her face the sun during lunch, but I’m going to pretend it was so they both could enjoy the view.  Shep seems to still be baffled, dare I say appalled, by Landon’s confession of love.  I will be so upset if they end up together.  Sheppy – the love of your life resides in Texas. #callme  Shephard’s mom, Mama Fran, gave him solid advice & said to not to rush or force anything.  She’s happy if he’s happy. #aww #kisshug

Now for the good stuff, Thomas’ dinner party.  He gave tours of the house – once again Kensie’s periwinkle room is the least periwinkle ever.  Kathryn basically avoids everyone but Elizabeth.  At this point, wasn’t Julien only a few weeks old?  Why was she smoking?  They all sit down to dinner, but of course Thomas being Thomas, he had to make a speech before dinner could be served.  Y’all the head swivels were like a tennis match & it. was. awesome.  He referred to himself in third person, which Sheppy hilariously pointed out.  Kathryn received praise for birthing his children.  Cameran was called out for being self-righteous, judgmental, & sanctimonious.  Next Craig got scolded for being a phony.  Loved when Craig said, “Let’s not come to me.”  Shep interrupted again, which quickly turned the roast speech to him.  Thomas calls him out for sleeping with all of Charleston when he could have Landon anytime he wanted.  Landon giggled like a dolphin, so then TRav called her vindictive towards Kathryn.  He wasn’t wrong on that one.  Shep jumps back into the fray accusing Thomas of stirring it up between Landon & Kathryn.  He wasn’t wrong on that one either.  I believe Thomas called Shep a pussy, to which he replied “You are what you eat, right?”  So gross, but so funny.  My favorite part was when Cooper, arguably the smallest man there, kept trying to restore a modicum of decency & civility.  You can’t tame the beast.

My only question remaining is did the entire party get roasted, or only the Charmers?

Favorite tweets from the night:  SC - Week 11.1SC - Week 11.2SC - Week 11.3SC - Week 11.4SC - Week 11.5

I’ll be live tweeting RHONY in just a few short hours & the blog will be up in the morning.

Kiss Hug,

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