The Bachelorette Recap: The Bubble Guts of Dates

No offense to JoJo, but I am so ready for her season to end so we can move on to my FAVORITE Bachelor franchise, Bachelor in Paradise!  Can Jorge please publish a BIP Bartending/Tell All book?

Side Note: have any of you seen the comparisons of the guys to food &/or animals?  Hilarious.  Here are a few, but there are soooo many more.

Alex got the first one on one date.  I may not always agree with JoJo’s decisions (ie. I would’ve sent Alex home last week), but she is always fair.  Since Alex was the only guy left without a one on one, he got the first date this week.  Still in Argentina, Alex & JoJo got to take a luxury car ride to the country side, while the other guys had to take a questionable bus.  I loved the guys rap!  This is such a musical bunch & I hope it is showcased at the Men Tell All.  Alex & JoJo went on a gaucho yoga date with horses.  This was so bizaare…I’d rather watch weird Tantric yoga.  JoJo’s gaucho outfit = HOT; Alex’s outfit = Lord Farquaad.  They basically watched a real gaucho whisper the horse into a nap & then joined the horse.  Poor horse.gaucho 2Alex is actually very attractive…until he speaks or stands up or wears a gaucho getup.  He definitely has “Little Man Syndrome,” which is the most unattractive quality.  At dinner he over-confidently told JoJo that he was falling for her, after spending about a day total with her.  JoJo’s body language was very closed off , which of course Alex was completely oblivious to.  Alex’s downfall was that he was just too smug to realize that JoJo wasn’t interested & he was going home.

Jordan, aka the front runner, got the second date card.  I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I can’t stand him.  Confidence is so sexy, but he is flat out arrogant?  Insincere?  I can’t put my finger on it.  Maybe it’s all the negative press he’s gotten, which I see here & there…  Anyways, he & JoJo went on a Lucy & Ethel  date making wine.  Then they drank it..from each other’s feet y’all.  #grossJoJo & Jordan

At dinner Jordan excitedly told JoJo that he was ready to bring her home to meet his mama.  Our girl was obviously fishing for info about Aaron Rogers, to which Jordan said they do not speak & that he wouldn’t be there.  I found this to be suspicious because the tabloids insinuate that his ex-girlfriend is BFF with Olivia Munn (Aaron’s girlfriend).  Regardless, JoJo had stars in her eyes when Jordan said he loved her.  Take notes Alex.

Chase, James, & Robby got the group date this week.  Because there was inclement weather, JoJo decided to host a slumber party in her suite.  They played games, gave each other massages, James played Chubby Bunnies with french fries, Robby stripped down to his boxer briefs & apologized to his meemaw.  James Taylor took it to a weird place when he randomly threw Robby under the bus for having eyes looking at other girls.  Keep in mind that JoJo is dating six men.  James reminds me a little of Jeb Bush.  James Taylor

Robby got the rose & the group date continued as a one on one.

Luke went on the last one on one.  His date was surprisingly short, but JoJo seems the most confident in her relationship with Luke.  So many people think he gives off a creepy vibe, but Luke is still my favorite.  Can you tell me this is not a cute Texan couple?  JoJo & Luke

They seem real & down to earth.

James Taylor was sent home at the Rose Ceremony.  I think JoJo & JT were equally upset about it.  They both balled like babies…very different from Alex’s departure.  JoJo's Suitors - Week 6

Now that Alex & James are gone, which we knew would happen last week do we even need to watch the rest of the Season?  All of the guys left are easily interchangeable.  It’s also obvious to anyone with eyes that JoJo will pick Jordan & it won’t work out (I smell an Andi/Josh situation brewing with those two), Jordan will get the notoriety/ESPN job that he is seeking, & JoJo will manage to come out smelling like a rose (no pun intended), perhaps hooking up with a fellow Bachelor Alumni from past seasons.  I think Arie is still single…

My favorite Tweets from the night:

What did you guys this of the episode this week?  Do you think James & Carly will sing a duet in Paradise?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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