The Bachelorette Recap: Jordan Finally Won

Well, the outcome was exactly what everyone had been saying from night one.  The worst kept secret in Bachelorette History???  I secretly wanted JoJo to pull a Brad Womack (his first time) & choose no one.  I was Team JoJo more than any of the guys.

The episode starts in Phuket, Thailand with Jordan meeting her family first.  I love that he brought funny hats for everyone to wear.  There is nothing I love more than a game to change an awkward family gathering.  Apples to Apples is a staple at my family gatherings, along with booze of course.  Jordan’s interactions with her parents seemed to go well; he was charming as he’s ever been.  He did neglect to ask her father for JoJo’s hand, but I felt that he made his intentions very clear.

Side note: the internet really poo-pooed on this tradition, but the thing is that JoJo told the guys that asking her father’s permission was extremely important to her.  It’s a Southern thing that maybe everyone doesn’t understand.  I’m a proud feminist, but I too love this tradition.

Next up Robby met the fam.  He made a fantastic impression on all of them, basically blew Jordan out of the water!  To me, he was trying too hard & seemed insincere, but he was in it to win it.  Robby managed to ask both her parents for their blessings, which he got in spades.  The entire family fell for Robby, even the brothers…too bad JoJo wasn’t interested.

JoJo met back with her family to discuss the guys; she was devastated to learn that they all preferred Robby to Jordan.  Cue the tears…  Where were the creepy, possessive, kiss-on-the-mouth brothers from last season?  brothers

Does JoJo have a sister?  I have never seen that gal before!  sister

Her brother brought up a valid point that she was vehemently defending Jordan, which made it pretty clear to him that she loved Jordan.

The next day, Robby & Joelle had their final date.  Honestly, I tune out during all the mushy, love-slut stuff.  Robby drives me insane by calling JoJo by her full name, Joelle, or worse shortening her nickname to Jo.  Something about Robby is really icky, for lack of a better word – he’s just off putting.  He’s a snazzy dresser, his hair defies all logic, but there is just something icky about him, right?

The final day is spent with Jordan (y’all, for some reason I almost wrote Luke – Freudian slip).  JoJo is trying too hard to make it work with Jordan.  She is clearly aggravated with him & is passive aggressively trying to figure out why he didn’t ask for her hand.  His answer was very logical, which was that he isn’t the only one left.  JoJo keeps referring to the fact that she is scared to get her heart broken, or that these guys aren’t ready for marriage, blah blah blah.  JoJo conveniently forgets that she is going to break one of their hearts, theoretically.  This date did not really end on the best of terms.

Finally Neil Lane arrived for the men to pick out JoJo’s ring.  Neil Lane

Now, I have a question.  Does Neil bring his current line as options, or does JoJo get to provide some preference?  Robby picked out a ring that was so unlike JoJo, so he was obviously the one going home.  Before Jordan went ring shopping he call JoJo’s parents & asked for their blessing.  They happily gave it.   Jordan picked out a classic oval ring, which is always the way to go.  Jordan got an A+ for his choice, while Robby got a D in my grade book.  I do keep score.  proposal

Robby was first out of the limo & first to go.  JoJo & Jordan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  We all knew Jordan would be the final guy.  Now the race is on for The Bachelor, will it be Luke or Chase?  Does Chase know enough words to sustain us for an entire season?

Favorite Tweets from the night:

What did y’all think of this season of The Bachelorette?  Did you love JoJo, or love to hate JoJo?  I’m so excited for#BachelorinParadise starting tonight!  I am babysitting though, so the recap will be delayed by a day or so.

Check back later this week for #BIP & #RHONY.

Kiss Hug,

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