The Bachelor is BACK! Bach is back, alright! Did you sing that like a Backstreet Boys song?
Okay, by now most of you know that Night 1 is my least favorite episode of the entire season of The Bachelor – too many girls to keep track of. This recap will be my first impressions as we met the women in their order out of the limos, & as we got to know them throughout the night.
Danielle L. – WHOA! Tits out. They both seemed nervous. She has great hair.
Elizabeth – She has a very twangy accent. Is she wearing a wedding dress?
Rachel – I LOVE her. She has gorgeous skin. Cleaning never looked so fun. She is a definite contender. Got the First Impression Rose.
Christen – Just NO with the fan. Yellow is not a good color for anyone to wear. Taught him ballroom dancing, which was basically a box step. She reminds me of my friend Ashley from college.
Taylor – She is beautiful, but she stuck her foot in her mouth by mentioning that her friends thought Nick was shitty, which didn’t go over too well. God is fair. Something about her looks like Caila to me.
Kristina – They showed her too fast. Her accent was unexpected. We didn’t see much of her until she was fretting over the Rose Ceremony. She was better in her bio. 😦
Angela – So pretty – She quoted Carrie Bradshaw to Nick…yeesh. Lauren – Viall-Hussy = disgusting slut. HAHAHA Michelle – She looks like Simone Biles
Dominique – They showed her introduction too fast, but apparently she’s horny. She talks about sex A LOT.
Ida Marie – She looks like JoJo. Did a trust fall. Olivia – gave an eskimo kiss
Sarah – hahaha, a runner up. She’s cute, I like her.
Jasmine G. – Her dress was a nice color on her. Eww, she brought Neil Lane with her. How is this the first time someone thought of this.
Hailey – Looks like she should be on Vanderpump Rules…possibly Lala’s replacement. Her joke about not wearing underwear made Nick very uncomfortable, but at least she didn’t say panties. I hate that word. Not into Hailey.
Astrid – She spoke in German – didn’t sound disgusting. I like her better in person than on her bio.
Liz – Jade’s BFF. Awkward. Nick doesn’t remember her…maybe he does – he does! Not a fan of hers…she is there only to cause drama in the house.
Corinne – She’s had work done, right? Her nanny still babysits her. She claims it’s so hard for her to find love; umm, perhaps that’s because you still live with your parents & a nanny. She is horrible. Villain.
Vanessa – I hate her dress. She spoke French. They showed her a lot, so she must be a contender.
Danielle M – Brought Nick homemade maple syrup. I like her. Seems a little quiet. She may turn out to be like Kelsey (dead fiance).
Raven – Did she just do a cheer out of the limo? Nick’s “wooo” was higher pitched. I’m not sure how I feel about her yet. She seems so young.
Jaimi – She was the only one in a short dress. Has balls…in her nose. I don’t think she’ll make it past week 3.
Briana – Listened to his heart. Susannah – Massaged his beard.
Josephine – She looks a bit like Taylor Armstrong & Erica Rose had a lovechild. Ate a raw hot dog…gross. She’s out after Week 2 or 3, right?
Brittany – She gave him some kind of weird test, he had to bend over. She panicked a little during the Rose Ceremony.
Jasmine B. – Did they even show her?
Whitney – 8,000th girl in a red dress. The producers should have fixed that. They didn’t show her much, but she was better in person than in her bio.
Lacey – She came in on a camel – “everyone likes a good hump.”
Alexis – She was dressed as a
shark dolphin – that costume had to be so hot. She maintains that it is a dolphin. Just to be clear – it’s a shark. Look at the teeth & the placement of the mouth.
The gals crossed out did not get roses.
My favorite Tweets from the night:
What did we think of last night’s episode? Do you have any favorites yet? I’m super excited to see how Nick does as The Bachelor.
Vanderpump Rules Recap will be up tonight.