VPR Recap: All Roads Lead to Booze

So, clearly Lala quit Vanderpump Rules & could no longer go on the Sonoma Express RV for Ariana’s birthday.  Oh, how I miss Sonoma!  I’d move there tomorrow – anyone know any single vintners?  giphy

Oh god, Stassi is only 28?  Wow.  I feel like she should be 32 at least.  KKS & Scheana are so impressed with the nautical decor in Montauk.  Oy vey.

Ariana called LVP to check on Lala – surprise, surprise, Lisa hasn’t heard from Lala.  Ariana is now on #TeamEveryoneElse.  Jax apparently reeks because he hasn’t showered since his boob job.  He also thinks that vodka is made at a vodka vineyard.  I feel like they need cards phonetically spell out how to say these wines…specifically for Brittany.  How rude of them to make Ariana take spit bucket shot.

Meanwhile in Montauk, a bird pooped on the girls – that’s fitting.  Kristen claims to be in a perfect relationship & called out Stassi for being single.  Stassi cried.  Scheana snarked that it could be karma, but she doesn’t hold grudges so she didn’t say that. bird-poop

James met up with some random dude that was stupid enough to give him a job.  James has been sober for two weeks, & taken up a new habit – ice cream.  Arthur psycho-analyzed James, he was fairly accurate.  However, he did hire James, so…  Side note: James looks nice in his glasses.

Does Jax dye his hair?  The guys grilled hot dogs on a hibachi while the girls took tequila swigs in the RV.  Tom Sandoval is lamenting about Ariana lack of a sex drive.  This conversation is a TMI…way TOO much information.  These guys are having such a real bromance conversation.  Man, Ariana can put that tequila away!  I am impressed.

In the Hamptons, Stassi wanted green tea shots – what is that?  In her confessional, did Scheana shade these girls for taking shots?  Girls, I don’t care how old you turn – never turn down a free round of drinks early in the night.  Luckily the bartender is hot; unluckily, Katie hit it off with him.

James stopped by SUR to meet up with Max.  LVP cornered James to ask about Lala; he doesn’t know anything either.  And, the mystery continues…  This mystery man sounds more like an abusive relationship.  Should we be worried?  Y’all, could it be possible that Katie was right about Lala all along?  Please don’t let it be so.

So, Scheana has seemed kind of lame for Stassi’s birthday weekend – she’s not drinking, not skinny dipping, etc.  However, I think it is so smart of her; you just know that KKS is waiting for her to get drunk & then pounce on her for disagreeing with them.

The girls totally got caught skinny dipping – HILARIOUS!!!

Overall, it was a pretty tame episode & nice for the most part.

Until next week.

Kiss Hug,

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