Bachelor Recap: A Romp in the Swamp

Sorry I didn’t post this last night after the show, but my eyes were hurting so bad.  I took this as  sure fire sign that I needed sleep…y’all, I slept like the dead until my alarm went off at 5:08am.


This episode picked back up in the middle of Corinne & Taylor’s fight where nothing of value is actually said.  Taylor kept her composure-ish, while Corinne interrupted & rambled on & on.  The short of it is that they are both horrible.  I’ve never cared less about “emotional intelligence.” rolling-eyes

Rose Ceremony: Astrid & Sarah go home.  No, not Sarah!  Was Astrid super drunk or does she have lazy eyes or heavy lids?  How is Josephine still there?  Who the hell is Whitney…I thought she was Astrid???

The group moves on to New Orleans…they’ll probably ruin it.

1 on 1: Rachel

Rachel & Nick are very smoochy-smoochy while they stroll around New Orleans & lead a random parade.  I now understand why you’re not allowed to eat on The Bachelor…beignets & powdered sugar all over that beard.  They have so much chemistry & are so cute!  Nick asked Rachel about what a hometown date would be like, which seems a little early.  He obviously hearts her. Rachel got the rose – duh.

Group Date: Josephine, Kristina, Alexis, Raven, Jaimi, Vanessa, Danielle M, Whitney, Jasmine, Danielle L.

They group visited the Houssa House, which is supposedly haunted by Mae, an 8yo girl.  I feel like the interns went through a lot of trouble to set this up, but it was so bad & WAY too long.  They played with a Quija board, & Jasmine basically did everything the tour guide said not to do.

When I was younger, my best friend & I would always play with a Quija board when we went to her grandparents’ farm.  Their farm had the town’s cemetery & city hall on the property.  We used to always try & figure out how this one little boy, in the cemetery, died.  Eventually we would spook ourselves so much that we switched light-hearted questions like who we were going to marry, etc.  The Quija board was wrong, by the way.  The one important factor that made the Quija board real to us was that when we forced it to move we could hear it, but when we asked a question & concentrated you could not hear it move.  I have goosebumps now.  quija

During her short one on one, Raven on purpose accidentally blurted that she loved Nick.  Danielle L. & Danielle M. looked for reassurance.  Alexis got to makeout with Nicholas Cage.  Danielle M. got the rose.

2 on 1: Corinne & Taylor – the Duh heard round the world.

Let me preface this by saying that I was in & out on this date because major political shit was going down at the time.

The premise of the date was actually kind of interesting.  They took a swamp tour to a voodoo ceremony (I think that’s what it was).  I, for one, would prefer to have Betty White & Sandra Bullock perform my voodoo dance.  To the window, to the wall.

The voodoo priestess took Taylor aside first to read her tarot cards.  Meanwhile, Nick & Corinne went off for alone time.  Corinne did lie exaggerate her story to Nick.  Corinne’s cocky confessionals were too much for me to stomach.  She came off like a total whiny brat.

Corinne & Taylor switch places with the priestess.  Corinne asked for a voodoo doll – she’s gutsy, I’ll give her that.  voodooI often wish I had a voodoo doll of some people.  Nick confronted Taylor about Corinne’s claims, to which Taylor cold & dead-like calmly gave Nick her version of the story.

Nick gave the rose to Corinne…like her ego needed any inflation.  I wish he had sent them both home.  corinne

We end the episode with Taylor coming back to interrupt Nick & Corinne’s date, because Lord knows we’re never getting another normal rose ceremony again.  I blame Kaitlyn Bristow’s vagina for this.

Favorite Tweets from the night: s21e5-1s21e5-2s21e5-3s21e5-4

What did y’all think of last night’s episode?  That haunted house date went on for 11 years, right?

Tonight is Bingo!  I’ll see you back here later this week!

Kiss Hug,


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