Southern Charm Recap: Shepic Paisley Pants

Sorry this post is up a little late…Life got in the way.  Let’s just get right into it, shall we?  Was it just me or was this episode bouncin’ around all over the place?

We start with Landon at Thomas’ Plantation for a polo match – she so badly wants to be Mrs. Ravenel.  Are we not past calling plots of land with hired help “plantations”?  Thomas was rude for shading Kathryn’s cooking skills.  Apparently Landon is an excellent cook, but I’ve yet to see her do anything other than drink wine.  She does that pretty well though.  Here’s a thought Thomas, date a woman your own age & chances are she’ll know how to cook.

Continuing on with the opening montage, Whitney was dressed like a seersucker Colonel Sanders, which Cameran found hilarious.  Austen has Chelsea saved in his phone as “Dream Girl.”  Craig still has no life, no goals, & no schedule much to Naomie’s despair.

On to the Polo Match… Thomas did greet his kids when they first arrived, which Craig no one saw.  Chelsea admitted that she only knew the Pretty Woman version of polo – same. Cam made Whitney hold St. Julien – he held the baby like Rachel Green.  Whitney

During a break in the match (between games?), Thomas was chillin’, relaxin’ all cool when a couple of tools started makin’ trouble with his kiddie brood with Landon, Craig, & Austen.  The nanny walked by on her way to the car to take the kids home, & Thomas barely acknowledged them.  This offended Craig, so much so, that he scolded Thomas – it went over real well as you can imagine.

As the best parent to no children, I am well aware that telling an actual parent how to do anything with their kids gives them the biggest thrill of their life.  ParentsCraig should not be giving Thomas parenting skills; however, Thomas was socializing & could have easily loved on his kiddos.  Landon clearly would make a fantastic step-mom…see gif above.  Landon says that’s the way parents are in the South – um, not in Texas.  Is it possible that Landon’s parents find her as insufferable as I do?  Cam pointed out to #OldCraig that Thomas is the only providing for the kids at this time, & Naomie bascially told  him to butt-out.  Note to Craig, probably should mind his own business in this regard because it will not go over well.  Note to Thomas, next time try saying something along the lines of “Bye Kensie, I love you!  See you soon!”

I loved it when Chelsea said to Austen, “Thomas’ team won?  It’s rigged!”

Shep came back to town just in time to celebrate his 37th birthday.  Whitney gleefully dream-crushed Shep’s amorous pursuits of Chelsea by informing him that she went to the polo match with Austen.   Austen decided that Shep is on a need-to-know basis, & right now he doesn’t need to know.

Kathryn (FINALLY!) is back-ish!  She joined Craig for sober drinks to catch up.  He barely waited for Kathryn to sit down before telling her what a “bad parent” Thomas is & mentioned that Landon was his hostess for the Polo soiree.  Kathryn nailed Landon from the get-go.  Craig should not be inserting himself into Kathryn & Thomas’ mess.  Kathryn now has visitation twice a month with the kids, which is a major accomplishment!

To me this is when the show started bouncing all over the place.  Austen & Chelsea meet up for their date.  Austen is in LUV, while Chelsea wants to get down to the nitty gritty.  Chelsea is playing Shep.  Why the hell is Landon mad at Shep for him giving her feedback at her Feedback Party.  Landon says, “I’ve pretty much succeeded at everything I’ve done.”  Umm, not your marriage, not your blog, not pitching business ideas, not being a decent person, not asking your dad for money, & not having a conversation.

Naomie & Cameran go on a manicure date – I wish I could replace Naomie on this date.  I want to have girl time with Cam. They bitched about Craig’s recent behaivor, but Cameran did give her sound advice, “Don’t go easy on him [Craig] just because you love him.”

Shep got his birthday haircut from Chelsea.  He didn’t seem to love his reputation…  As much as I love Shep, I think he fairly earned his reputation.  I think any woman wanting to settle down would be trepidation around him.  However, I feel like this love triangle may be a bit overproduced & contrived…it’s less of a love triangle & more of a lust triangle.

At the boat party, Shep greeted all his guests.  Cam was ping-ponging fro Shep to Shep trying to rekindle their connection.  I loved Cameran’s tough love for Shep.  “You’re gonna be Thomas.  Do you want to be a 55yo man with no shoelaces?”

Landon & Shep clear the air.  Landon’s not over it.   I think she’s still butt hurt that Shep doesn’t love her.  Once again Landon took an opportunity to shade Kathryn, as usual, “Yes, we slept together & now I’m pregnant.”

That’s basically all I got from this episode.  It was a little too disjointed for my taste.

Favorite Tweets from the Night:  SC4E4.1SC4E4.2SC4E4.3SC4E4.4

What did you all think of Shep’s birthday party?  Do you think Craig & Landon are basically the same person – #OldCraig?  Do we like Chelsea?  Austen?  Them together?

The RHONY Recap will be up tonight – I promise to get back on schedule!

Kiss Hug,

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