Southern Charm Recap: They Are the Hunters, We Are the Foxes

Y’all, like Craig, I too am trying my hand at gardening.  Two weeks ago I cut a bunch of dead/ugly plants down to their stump in my flowerbed.  This past Sunday, I dug up all the gnarly roots with a pick & shovel…my body is now rejecting me.  I’m so sore!!!

The good news is that I should be ready to plant new flowers this weekend.  Mama J is coming to visit for Mother’s Day (this Sunday!), so I’ll let her boss me around in the garden.  Honestly, if I knew it was going to be this cumbersome, I may have never started.

I like to think that Craig would be proud of my start.

As always, the episode began with the morning routines.  Landon is apparently now a painter, Whitney a dog walker, Craig is stuck in traffic makin’ Cameran wait on him, & Shep has a coyote ugly leaving his place.  Sheppy lamented that his “piece” didn’t leave during the night like a good one-night-stand should.

Shep’s doc, from the Quack Shack, called to inform him that he is borderline alcoholic & that his liver is on the road to rejecting him.  He smartly decided to take a week off from drinking…just to see if he could.  Whitney & Patricia discussed Thomas’ lack of game, as TRav’s magic pants are now shit stained.  Patricia feels that Whitney should feel the same way about his love life.  Que the match-making dinner party.  Dare I say that Whitney may actually be charming this season?!?!  Stranger things have happened.

I don’t think I realized just how rude Craig can be.  He made Cameran wait for an hour to look at houses he can’t afford.  Cameran let Craig know that he has “Caviar taste on a Vienna sausage budget.”  Love Cameran!  Craig’s life philosphy reminds me of something my dad used to say, “I wish I had _______, & he had a feather up his ass.  Then we’d both be tickled.”  Cam reminds Craig that he should probably check in with Naomie before buying a rental property, to which Craig said, “ppp-shaw!” Craig

Kathryn & Shep reunite by doing yoga – it was so entertaining.  Best thing I’ve seen thus far this season.  Maybe Sheppy-poo & Kathryn could be Sober Buddies…  While they are bettering themselves, Austen & Chelsea went on another date.  I’m quickly losing interest in them.

Next up, Cameran & Shep had lunch with Ms. Estelle – the voodoo doll.  I think Cameran is all of us when she reiterates to Shep that maybe he needs to settle down.  I agree with her that Shep is bored.  Cam wanted to cast a love spell on Shep…he wasn’t into it.  Cam – I’m available for a love spell to be cast on me! love spell

I’m going to go ahead & skip over another spat between Craig & Naomie.  I’m afraid #OldCraig may be here to stay.  😦  He has no concept of reality…much like Landon.

At Patricia’s dinner party, Whitney helped her by putting out the place cards…you know because a party of 5 needs assigned seats.  Whitney thinks that not having a place card holder is roughing it – not so charming.  Whit & Cameran were basically there to make the setup between Thomas & Landon less obvious.  I, for one, think TRav & Blandon deserve each other.

They all blatantly make fun of Landon’s boy toy, which is a pretty shitty thing to do.  Landon is dating her 26 yo as a place card without the place card holder…she’s roughing it too.  I did love that Pat told Thomas he’d be a fool not to get a prenup from his next victim love.  Landon didn’t love that, which of course makes me happy.

Austen had dinner with his folks.  They basically told him to get a real job with a 401K & health benefits…sound familiar?  Craig needs this tough love heart-to-heart from Austen’s parents.

Moving on to the Sip & See party for Jennifer’s baby.  If I didn’t already love my Shepperoni so much, this episode would’ve sealed the deal.  He stole the show in the most endearing way.  Yoga – yes.  Holding babies – yes.  Playing with Kensie – yes!  Shep

Naomie showed up to the party without Craig, telling Cameran that he wasn’t ready to go yet, so she left without him.  I do not blame her at all!  Jenn caught wind of this, & in front of a few people asked Craig why Naomie was airing their dirty laundry.  There’s the Jenn we all know.  This of course escalated things making Jenn’s mom, in particular, uncomfortable.  Naomie again decided to leave Craig, & caught a ride home with JD & Liz.

Favorite Tweets from the night: SC4E6.1SC4E6.2SC4E6.3

I’m not going to lie, this is the first episode this season that I’ve truly enjoyed.  What did y’all think?  Did you watch Southern Charm Savannah; I was not impressed.

RHONY will be up Wednesday/Thursday.

Kiss Hug,

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