The Bachelor: “I Can’t Watch This”

In all honesty, I wasn’t going to post a recap of Episode 3 because I hated it so much.  I spent this entire episode either completely bored or incredibly angry at Arie.  What is wrong with Arie?  These women are so much more interesting than he is; Arie is basically a Muppet.  He is human oatmeal.  Boring

I’m going to do a speed round recap, as I think everything you need to know about this episode is summed up nicely in the SNL Car Hunk skit.

First Group Date: Maquel, Jacqueline, Lauren B, Tia, Marikh, TinkerBekah, Bibiana, Krystal – “It’s all about the ring.”

ABC brought in the founding members of GLOW to teach the women how to fake wrestle.  Some women were really into it, some not so much.  One of the GLOW ladies basically ridiculed Bibiana for having an “ethnic” name.  I was shocked that ABC & The Bachelor would allow this when they have been under such scrutiny for lack of diversity.  After Rachel’s season, I am flabbergasted that racial intolerance would once again be allowed.  unacceptable

They went to a cute little Air Stream trailer park for the after party.  The women all made out with Arie, as usual he asked none of them any questions.  Krystal was her normal psycho self, very manipulative.  TinkerBekah got the rose.

One-on-One: Lauren S. “You had me at merlot.”

They went wine tasting in Napa – this is my dream date y’all.  Lauren was very nervous, & because of that she could. not. stop. talking.  Arie ate his meal on the date…while Lauren was still talking.  She referred to herself in third person, as Lauren S.  This was so sad.   Lauren S. got sent home.

Second Group Date: Ashley, Becca K, Brittany, Jenna, Caroline, Chelsea, Annaliese “Love is ruff.”

Honestly, I tuned out on this date.  Chris Harrison & that guy from Best in Show were the commentators at a dog show for kids.  Annaliese was afraid of dogs, so she was the pooper scooper.  AnnalieseThe Bachelor did her dirty again this week.  They exploited Annaliese’s legit fear of dogs with another Rescue 911 montage, & they kept her focused on how she hadn’t kissed Arie yet.  Chelsea got the rose.

Cocktail Party: Annaliese spent the entire cocktail party trying to get a kiss from Aire, he sent her home early, & she is now traumatized by The Bachelor.  TinkerBekah kept saying “I can’t watch this.”  Me either, girl…me either.  At this point, Bibiana & Brittany are the only women over 30 left, & fore shawdowing from earlier told us that Bibiana was going home.  Bibiana created a cute little makeout pad for her & Aire, he blew her off & proceeded to take all the other women there to makeout.  Bibiana went home.  Brittany is now the only 30 year old left.

Rose Ceremony:  S22E3 Rose Ceremony

Favorite Tweets: S22E3.1S22E3.2S22E3.3S22E3.4S22E3.5

I personally do not think Arie is interested in any of the women, except to bone them.  Although, he does show some tepid interest in TinkerBekah & Becca because they are the only women he actually asks specific questions to during their time together…then they makeout.

Hopefully this week will be better…fingers crossed!

Kiss Hug,

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