I can’t lie…no blog post from of Episode 6. I had a super crazy week at work, that started out shitty but ended okay, & fell asleep on my couch every night by 8pm. Considering that Krystal went home, I thought the episode as a whole was pretty bland & boring…Lauren Borin’. Way to ruin Paris. I did hear that the house boat thing the women stayed on was the first time all season that each lady had her own room. Good for them.
Episode 7’s recap will be quick & dirty…more a Tweetcap if you will. I’ve decided Arie is basically about as fun as Melba toast lately. He’s also getting more & more orange base face.
Side note: the bell chimes were very aggressive in this episode…much like the heartbeat in the Tell Tale Heart.
First date: Becca “Let’s fall in love under the Tuscan Sun”
What the f*ck is she wearing? They went to Barga. An old breadmaker (???) tried wooing Becca away from Arie. As much as I love Becca, there was a lot of ex-boyfriend talk. At this point, I would have rather have watched that Diane Lane movie instead.
Becca got the rose/hometown.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel Jacqueline was spiraling… Her breakup convo with Arie went a little something like this:
Knocking on Arie’s hotel door. Jacqueline cries. She steals Arie’s wine. Arie is pissed & pours Jacqueline her own glass of wine. Kissy face. Kissy face. Tears. “I can’t see myself introducing you to my parents.” Kissy face. Crying. Guzzle the wine. “I don’t want to go on two dates with you & wake up in Scottsdale married a few years from now.” Cries. Kissy face. Arie says, “Are you scared of me?” Kissy face. Cries. Kissy face. Goodbye. “Come back if you change your mind.”
Second date: Lauren “Let’s break down our walls.”
They go to Luca. This is the most she has ever spoken. She confessed her love for Arie. Arie walked away, just long enough to make her super insecure, then came back & said he was falling for her too.
I don’t read spoilers, so I could be way off, but my theory is that for some odd reason we haven’t seen Arie is totally in love with Lauren. He had to walk away to ask for permission to tell her how he feels.
Lauren got the rose/hometown.
Third date: Seinne “I’m searching for the one.”
Truffle hunting & made pasta & pizza. Seinne & Arie were mostly split up during this date & you could hear bells all throughout…foreshadowing. All I can think about is the movie Ever After on this date.
He sent Seinne home.
Group date: TinkerBekah, Tia, & Kendall “Meet me at the love rail.”
They go to Villa Royale, which looked like a really bad movie prop. Bell chimes again. Tia broke the cardinal rule of not talking about another girl to the lead. Tia warned Arie that TinkerBekah “just isn’t ready for marriage.” Bell chimes. At least Tia did tell TinkerBekah that she talked about her.
Are gave Kendall a rose/hometown, turning the 3-on-1 date to a 2-on-1. Tia ultimately got the rose/hometown.
So I have a theory, ABC really wanted Raven to be last season’s Bachelorette, but they got in hot water for the lack of diversity. This, Raven 2.0, Tia will be the next Bachelorette.
Until next time…