Southern Charm: Birth Control Plan

Is it just me, or have we seen entirely too many bedroom scenes with Thomas?  He is not attractive and I don’t need to see him in any state of undress.  I also do not need to see him with whichever girl (yes, I mean girl) happened to share his bed from the night before.  This time it happened to be Ashley, at least he’s dating her, but the two of them talking about their sex life is all the birth control I need!!!!  Thomas on my tvI was utterly disgusted.  Looking at them makes me want to gouge my eyes out, & listening to them makes me want to cut my ears off…I was in a real conundrum last night.  Creepy Thomas

Moving along…  Is it weird that a host of a baby shower controls the guest list?  I would think the person of honor would get to invite whomever they want.  Not the case when Patricia is in charge, which segued nicely over to Kathryn with Kensie & Saint.  I’m actually really impressed by how articulate Kensie is; how old is she?  Three?

Y’all, I know we are only three episodes in, but can we give Kathryn the award for Most Improved?  She has grown by leaps & bounds.  I feel like a proud big sis or something.  Look how far she’s come!

I was equal parts tickled & grossed out by Cameran & Whitney’s session with the birthing coach.  All I could think about was that women poop when they give birth.  I know it’s supposed to be natural & beautiful & all that, but gross.  If I ever have children, they will be adopted.   I loved the look on Cameran’s face during the session, it was as horrified as it was excited.  Also, Elvis the neighbor’s dog, made his TV debut!

They chatted about the theme of the baby shower, which I totally don’t get.  Maybe I’m too young, at 34, to know?  Maybe I’m not WASP-y enough?  I am still confused, even after several people tried to very nicely to explain it to me on Twitter last night. Baby Shower 1 Baby Shower 2

I’m going to breeze through the bromance because it was boring.  Austen wants Craig to slut it up now that he is free from Naomie’s clutches.  Craig wishes he was gay.  Shep thinks Craig should now go by Grill Shakespeare.  Oh, and apparently all the bars in Charleston are Cheers to Austen…get it?  I think that covered it.

Chelsea joined Cam at her doctor’s appointment, & she was more emotionally invested than Cameran was.  I loved this friend moment!  Bravo is really playing up the women empowerment on this show.

I’m skipping over Thomas’ convo with his dad because that really made me want to fill my ears with acid.  However, while touring Craig’s new pad, Kathryn revealed that she & TRav hooked up after last season’s reunion.  I believe this is their M.O.  Paraphrasing Nene Leakes, “Close your legs to Thomas Ravenel.”  Kathryn, you are better than this.

We finally arrive at the baby shower…that Kathryn wasn’t invited to, yet somehow JD made the list.  Patricia was dressed like Big Bird’s drunk aunt.  I still don’t understand the theme?  Audrey Hepburn & Jackie O…if they wore colors?  Whitney had a super gross cake made for Cameran.  Craig monogrammed his gift.  Naomie chastised Craig, for what I don’t know.  JD & Liz did a “Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am” appearance.  Patricia had no time for Naomie.  Did I miss anything?  Oh yeah, Ashley looked like a damn fool.

Favorite Tweets: S5E3 Tweets

What did you think of the episode?  Are we loving Kathryn or what?

See y’all next week!

Kiss Hug,

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