RHONY: Kindergarten

Y’all, I am so happy!  RHONY is back baby!  Those of us that love Bravo really need and deserve this in these trying times.

As most season premiers go, it was fairly tame for the NY ladies.  However. we. have. got. a. season.

We open on the ladies finding out that Bethenny left the show.  Everyone’s reactions were predictable for each gal – Dorinda & Sonja were sad, Tinsley was indifferent, Ramona & Luann were all too happy to say good riddance.  Okay, now that’s out of the way…

Luann emerges from the court house, as the Countess has wrapped up her rap sheet by completing probation.  Sonja, her emotional support housewife, was in tow with a fun flask for moral support.AA96E43B-D3FA-4AE8-A466-50024043E4E6Anyone else find it weird that the coffee cart guy knew Luann?  The ladies sit on a bench and immediately start b*tching about old stuff.  They quickly hugged it out while Sonja ate a sandwich over Lu’s shoulder.  Oh Sonja!

Down the road Tinsley meets up with new housewife Leah.  They do a boxing workout with someone that looks like the guy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest that had the lobotomy.  So, it sounds like Tinz is dating a new guy named Bruce that has kids, which she talks to like dogs.  Y’all, is Tinsley going to be like the stepmom from The Parent Trap? B1B7B3B5-74BE-4105-8115-4A92CBA87671_4_5005_c
Meanwhile across town, Johns stops by Dorinda’s for date night in.  I thought Dorinda & John broke up?  We learned that Carson Kressley broke Dorinda’s rib, but she is on the mend!  This scene made me cringe so much.  Dorinda clearly hates John, but doesn’t want to give up that dry cleaning discount…  To let your man burn his hand on a hot pan is sure fire sign this relationship isn’t gonna work out.

Do we like Dorinda’s new haircut?  I kinda think she looks like Lance Bass…

Across town Ramona meets up with some of her old friends, that look younger each time we seem them.  As always, Mo orders a simple cocktail, but asks for it to be made as complicated as possible.  She basically asked for a mojito with the mint & limes on the side.  Your cocktail shouldn’t need a tray!  Ramona starts crying, no actual tears, to her friends because she sold her apartment & hates her new one – get this, because she’s alone there too.  Must be so tough to live on the Upper East Side…  How often do you think bartenders spit in Ramona’s drinks?

Seemingly the next day, we meet Leah’s 12yo daughter, Kier.  They stroll to coffee where Leah committed one of the biggest housewives sins – telling a the server “I’m going to have…”  Always, always treat waitstaff with the utmost respect.  “May I please have…”

Anyway, Leah informs us that she & Kier are soul mates, life partners, best friends, and also mother/daughter.  This smells like a Kelly Dodd/Jolie situation in the making.

Meanwhile, at the townhouse Stuart Little’s House Sonja’s apartment looks like an episode of Hoarders.  Her place is my nightmare.  She opened the door to Ramona, and immediately started rambling about having a concussion, falling off platform sneakers, & shock that Ramona’s dog is still alive.  Ramona cut her to the quick, & pointed out that Sonja was sad & deflecting about her daughter going off to college.  Call me crazy, but how is this any different from when she was at boarding school?

Dorinda is getting her makeup done by Caroline Stanbury’s (oh, how I miss Ladies of London) sycophant, Luke, for an End of Summer party.  Dorinda is still peeved at Tinsley for not opening up to her.  Y’all, I just don’t think Tinsley is that deep.  Every city needs a housewife like Tinsley, she’s there to support, hangout, & have a good time.  Dorinda’s feud is super weird.

Sonja, Leah, & Tinsley arrive at the party & do a pre-drink, except Sonja isn’t drinking yet & Leah doesn’t drink?  I don’t think Leah even knows if she is sober or not.  Did anyone else see Ramona walk right past the women?  Cold.

Dorinda started the evening by surprising the guests with a drag queen performing Luann’s song, “Feelin’ Jovani.”  I kinda thought it was a dig, but Lu took it as “let bygones be bygones.”  Who am I to argue with the Countess.  Ramona & Luann interrogated got to know Leah.  Leah & Lu compared probation sentences as our new friend is no stranger to the 5-0-5-0. 79B11CDE-7F8A-44DF-89A1-A24B46C13C51

Y’all, I think Leah might be the right amount of crazy we need this season.

For some god awful reason, Tinsley thought it would be wise to pull Dorinda aside to tell her that they would talk later about their issue.  This of course set Dorinda off.   I just don’t get it.  What does it matter if Tinsley dates Scott?  Why is the source of Tinsley’s money anyone’s business? Who cares if Scott buys her sh*t?  She’s on TV show, I assume a large portion of her income comes from Bravo?  We also know that she is a wealthy socialite from Virginia.  Why is any of it Dorinda’s business?  By going after Tinsley, Dorinda is punching down.  Not a good look.

Meanwhile, Sonja is either trying to hook Leah up with Ramona’s sloppy seconds, William.  Or, she’s trying to somehow use Leah to hook up with William herself.  Oh, Sonja – please never change.

We end the episode with Tinsley & Dorinda still arguing about nothing.  Dorinda goes too far, telling Tinsley that she got her shoes on her back & that she needs to go back to kindergarten.  Like Leah, we were all appalled.

What did you think of the premier?  Do we have a good season ahead of us?  Do we like Leah, or is the jury still out?

I also posted my Friday Five this morning, so please check that out.  I hope you all have great weekend six feet away from everyone else.

Kiss Hug,

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