The Bachelorette: Rachel “Left Eye” Lindsay

Sorry for the delay in getting this post up!  So, let’s just dig right in, shall we?

We open right back up where we left off last week; Paulie holding DeMario back from the gate, & Chris Harrison finally doing some real work – holding the guys back so that Rachel can have a private(ish) conversation with DeMario.  His character was assassinated – not to self don’t try to use that kind of talk with a lawyer.  Rachel told him, “I need a man, & what I saw was a boy.”  She sent him home again.

Cocktail Party Continues:
Blake is apparently in love with Lucas & stands over his bed, eating bananas, as told to Rachel by WhaBoom.  This is obviously a lie because Blake is on a Ketogenic diet & doesn’t eat carbs.  Lucas & Blake are so annoying.

Luckily for us, Rachel sends them both home to save our weary souls.

Men left standing after the Rose Ceremony: First Rose Ceremony

Afterwards, Blake & Lucas have the dumbest fake fight.  Seemed real rehearsed to me.

Group Date 1: Bryan, Jonathan, Peter, Alex, Will, Fred
Date Card: Lights, Camera, Action

They went on the Ellen Show.  Rachel claims Ellen is her spirit animal.  The guys strip, why again?  Alex twerked.  What the hell were those pants? Group Date 1

The guys played Never Have I Ever on Ellen.  Alex said something weird about Rachel looking him in the eye, left eye to left eye.  I found a few interesting articles regarding eye contact…you can check them out here & here.

Fred is so sweet, but kind of a sad sack Eeyore.  Three of the six guys kissed Rachel, which made Fred insecure.   He finally kissed her & it was the most awkward…and loud, very smack-y.  Rachel said she felt like she was kissing a boy.  She couldn’t get “bad Freddy” out of her mind.  Rachel did the only decent thing she could & sent Fred home…while holding the Group Date rose, which was kinda cruel.  Alex got the group date rose.

1-on-1 Date: Anthony
Date Card: Meet Me at the Rodeo

They went horseback riding on Rodeo Dr.  They rode their horses into a store to get boots with the spurs, big buckles, & cowboy hats.  This is not the OK Corral, it’s more like the Not Okay Corral.  Anthony's Date

As much as I like Anthony, this date was boring.  Anthony got the rose.

Group Date 2: Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, Eric
Date Card: Sometimes in Relationships, Women Have to Take Charge

Waiting for the group date, Eric’s insecurity is showing.  He attacked Iggy, though a producer Iggy egged him on.

Rachel’s girls from last season showed up & planned the date – Raven, Jasmine, Corinne, & Alexis.  Rachel said “my girls” 11, 234, 987 times…I counted.  I was so uncomfortable with this date.  Mud wrestling.  Bryce won, beating poor, tired Kenny.  Not going to lie, for most of this date I was hiding behind my laptop laughing hysterically…similar to how I behave in front of strippers. group 2

Surprisingly, Eric got the group date rose.

Cocktail Party:
Iggy questions Eric’s fit for Rachel…to Rachel.  Iggy is the Evan of this season.  Lee talks shit about Eric screaming at Iggy.   Okay, so based on Lee’s social media, we learned this past week that he is racist…unapologetically.  But, is he not an equal opportunity racist?  He has a problem with Eric, but not Iggy.  Looks like he’ll have more issues with Will & Josiah (or was it Kenny?).

To Be Continued…

There were a lot of fantastic Tweets from the night; these were my faves: E3.1E3.2E3.3E3.4E3.5E3.6E3.7E3.8E3.9

I hate when we don’t get a rose ceremony, it really throws off my bracket picks.  Who are we loving?  We obviously hate Lee & Tickle Monster, right?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Kareemed by an Ex

Ugh!  I had internet issues last night, it wasn’t even storming, so this couldn’t be posted last night.  Some of my observations are based on my reactions as I watched in real-time. Overall, last night’s episode was pretty good…drama wasted no time!  As per ushe, we started with Chris Harrison greeting the men after a quick wardrobe change to make us think it was a new day after the first rose ceremony.

Group Date: Dean, Jack, Jonathan, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Fred, Lucas

Ashton & Mila!  OMG!!!  Kelso & Jackie arrived to greet the guys & let them know that they would be competing for Rachel on the Ultimate Dad obstacle course.  Ashton said Rachel is looking for a real man…with health insurance.  He could not be more correct. Whaboom, Blake, & Dean definitely don’t have health insurance…probably not a 401k either.

Shocking everyone, Lucas won the race!  He beat out Kenny by shoving him out of the way.  Blake cried about it.  I think WhaBoom’s baby was probably dead by the end, but he won.  Ashton, Mila, & Rachel’s reactions were the best!  Somehow I think Rachel would rather have spent extra time with Kenny.Lucas

Lucas wasn’t as annoying during his 1-on-1 time, although he wore a hideous, distracting suit.  Fred told her that he has grown up & matured.  Jonathan taught her how to change a diaper – gross…why was he showing her this?  He doesn’t have children (as far as we know).  Rachel thought all the convos were mundane…until Dean sat down with her. Kenny did well too.  I love Kenny!

Blake’s obsession with Lucas is more annoying than Lucas being here.  The other guys are so unimpressed with Blake & Lucas.  I think it was Kenny that mentioned that the “white guys” were giving them all a bad name – I paraphrased.

Dean got the rose.  He sealed it with a kiss…which Rachel was in to!  Thank god he didn’t eat her face like Bryan did on night one.

1-on-1: Peter

Copper joined their date to Palm Springs.  I love all the dogs!!!  Barkfest looks fun!  But, seriously, what happened to Copper’s leg?  Did he have a cast last episode?  Peter is so hot! Rachel called it, Peter is dreamy.

Rachel’s dinner dress was beautiful.  If she doesn’t pick Peter, I’ll take him.  They talk about the gap in their teeth…if that was my only problem with my teeth, I’d keep it too.  They are so cute together.  They also talked about going to therapy after really bad breakups.  Have we ever had such real talk this early in season?

Peter got the rose. Peter

Group Date 2: Will, Jamey, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, Josiah, DeMario

Basketball with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar!  Who cares about the actual basketball game, get to the girlfriend!  Rachel was annoyed by Eric’s antics to get noticed.  I loved that Rachel got bored by the game & started dancing with the band…me too girl, me too.  Rachel is smitten with DeMario, which means the girlfriend is his right? Called it.  She sent DeMario home.  Lexi & DeMario annoyed me so much – they wouldn’t let Rachel talk.  Lawyer Rachel had to come out & give DeMario a reckoning.

Before heading to the Group Date cocktail party, Rachel needed a few minutes to collect herself.  She totally bi-passed Chris Harrison – so much for his pep talk.  Anyway, the show must go on right?  I think Rachel handled herself really well with the guys.

I thought Diggy, Eric, & Josiah had the most impressive 1-on-1’s with Rachel.

Josiah got the rose.

Of course this took the entire two hours, so no rose ceremony – this royally pisses me off as most of you know.  DeMario showed back up to ruin the Rose Ceremony…I think the guys are planning to lynch him.

Current men left (I use the term men loosely) & who got date roses: The Men E2

Favorite Tweets from the night: E2.1E2.2E2.3E2.4E2.5

What did y’all think of last night’s episode?  I thought Blake was far more annoying than Whaboom.  I’m okay that DeMario is gone because he’s a douche & Diggy looks just like him.  For some reason I get Iggy & Will mixed up…they looking nothing alike, but I’m always surprised to see them.

The Southern Charm recap will be up later today & RHONY later this week.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: WhaBoo

This post is a recap of my first impressions of the guys as they came out of the limo.  As y’all know, Night One is my least favorite due to the sheer number of people I’m expected to remember.  Why was 31 guys the magic number?  All The Men

Without further ado…

In order out of the limo:
Peter: 30: WI – Holy Hottie McHot Pants!  He is much better looking in person, & he was hot in his bio.  They have the same gap in their teeth.
Josiah: 28: FL – Legal terms! “See you later litigator.”
Bryan: 37: FL – Same outfit as Josiah? Speaks Spanish. Rachel flirted with him.
Kenny: 35: NV – He reminds me of Terry from Brooklyn 99.
Rob: 29: TX – He’s from Houston, based on his bio I thought he’d be from the UK or Canada.
Iggy: 30: IL – Iggy was not the body shape I anticipated, but I called it on the hipster.
Bryce: 30: FL – He literally picked her up.  Wore his uniform.
Will: 28: FL – Just say no to Urkel.
Diggy: 31: IL – He wants to teach her how to Diggy.  Can you dig it?
Kyle: 26: CA – He can bake…apparently.
Blake K.: 29: CA – Hot Asian.  i still think he looks like Craig Conover from Southern Charm.
Brady: 29: FL – So many guys from Florida!  He looks like he’s been workin’ on the railroad all the live long day.
Dean: 26: CA – Rachel actually remembered him.  He is better looking in person.
Eric: 29: CA – he looks so much like the character from Get Out that was with the old white lady.  Dancing is their thing.
DeMario: 30: CA – He is good looking.  These guys love a bow tie.  Over-confident.
Blake E.: 31: CA – Hired a marching band.  So, the aspiring drummer wants to be in Drum Line. Nick Cannon should be afraid.
Fred: 27: TX – He knew Rachel from childhood – he was kinda creepy about it.  Rachel calls him “Fredrick, the bad little boy.”
Jonathan: 31: FL – Ewww, tickle monster.
Lee: 30: TN – He’s not as good as Wes from Jillian’s season, but already as annoying.
Alex: 28: MI – Vacuum cleaner?
Milton: 31: FL – He took a selfie with Rachel & purred at her.  Gross.
Adam: 26: TX – He brought a puppet, Adam Jr.
Matt: 32: CT – Dressed as a penguin. Waddling right into her heart.
Grant: 29: NY – Arrived in an ambulance.
Anthony: 26: IL – His head wasn’t as misshapen in person.  Wears an earring.
Jamey: 32: CA – Seemed a little effeminate.
Jack Stone: 31: TX – Has she ever seen him in court?
Mohit: 26: CA – Reminds me of Mike from Shahs of Sunset.
Jedidiah: 35: GA – He went biblical on her, shocker.
Michael: 26: IL – Lots of Chicago guys too!
Lucas: 30: CA – Testicle talk through Kenya Moore’s megaphone.  I wish she really could send him back to the limo.  Is Whaboom a rip-off of the Tasmanian Devil?  Does it give him a migraine to yell & shake like that?

Observations:

  • First make out sesh goes to Bryan.
  • DeMario knows A LOT about pop culture.
    • Might have a thing for Justin Timberlake related obsession.
  • Mo is d-runk…the Mike from Shahs comparison holds up.
  • Milton sounds like Josh Murray…I can’t handle the purring.
  • Fun Fact: Blake E. & Lucas were on a previous reality show together & they did not get along.
  • Kenny is kinda sweet.
  • Rachel is walking like her feet hurt.
  • Josiah is wearing on my nerves.  He & DeMario egg each other on.

First Impression Rose: Bryan

Roses awarded to: Survivors

Would you guys prefer me to keep all the guys & change their photo to B &W when they go, or just remove them (like above)?

Favorite Tweets from the night: E1.1E1.2E1.3E1.4E1.5

What did y’all think of Rachel’s guys?  Are any of them a keeper?  How annoying was Lucas?

My Southern Charm recap will be up later today.  RHONY up on Wednesday/Thursday.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Meet & Greet

Y’all, as I’m sure you know, the beautiful Rachel Lindsay is back as the Bachelorette! Rachel In Case you’ve forgotten, or live under a rock, Rachel is the 32 yo lawyer from Dallas, that got dumped by Nick…he’s a moron.

This is my typical,  first impression post about the contestants.
Vocabulary to know:
IBB: Impression Before Bio – this is my initial first reaction to the guys’ pictures.
IAB: Impression After Bio – obviously this is what I think after I read their bios.

Meet the guys! G1G2G3G4G5G6G7G8

These guys are obsessed with Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson, Denzel Washington, & Matthew McConaughey like last season’s girls were obsessed with mermaids, dolphins, & Olivia Pope.

I’m still trying to decide if I will focus more on recapping my beloved Southern Charm or The Bachelorette.  Southern Charm needs to kick this season into gear because so far it have been a snooze fest with way too much Landon & Craig.  I will definitely recap both, but I may skip the boring episodes.

What were your first impressions of the guys?  Will you be doing a fantasy league?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: Jordan Finally Won

Well, the outcome was exactly what everyone had been saying from night one.  The worst kept secret in Bachelorette History???  I secretly wanted JoJo to pull a Brad Womack (his first time) & choose no one.  I was Team JoJo more than any of the guys.

The episode starts in Phuket, Thailand with Jordan meeting her family first.  I love that he brought funny hats for everyone to wear.  There is nothing I love more than a game to change an awkward family gathering.  Apples to Apples is a staple at my family gatherings, along with booze of course.  Jordan’s interactions with her parents seemed to go well; he was charming as he’s ever been.  He did neglect to ask her father for JoJo’s hand, but I felt that he made his intentions very clear.

Side note: the internet really poo-pooed on this tradition, but the thing is that JoJo told the guys that asking her father’s permission was extremely important to her.  It’s a Southern thing that maybe everyone doesn’t understand.  I’m a proud feminist, but I too love this tradition.

Next up Robby met the fam.  He made a fantastic impression on all of them, basically blew Jordan out of the water!  To me, he was trying too hard & seemed insincere, but he was in it to win it.  Robby managed to ask both her parents for their blessings, which he got in spades.  The entire family fell for Robby, even the brothers…too bad JoJo wasn’t interested.

JoJo met back with her family to discuss the guys; she was devastated to learn that they all preferred Robby to Jordan.  Cue the tears…  Where were the creepy, possessive, kiss-on-the-mouth brothers from last season?  brothers

Does JoJo have a sister?  I have never seen that gal before!  sister

Her brother brought up a valid point that she was vehemently defending Jordan, which made it pretty clear to him that she loved Jordan.

The next day, Robby & Joelle had their final date.  Honestly, I tune out during all the mushy, love-slut stuff.  Robby drives me insane by calling JoJo by her full name, Joelle, or worse shortening her nickname to Jo.  Something about Robby is really icky, for lack of a better word – he’s just off putting.  He’s a snazzy dresser, his hair defies all logic, but there is just something icky about him, right?

The final day is spent with Jordan (y’all, for some reason I almost wrote Luke – Freudian slip).  JoJo is trying too hard to make it work with Jordan.  She is clearly aggravated with him & is passive aggressively trying to figure out why he didn’t ask for her hand.  His answer was very logical, which was that he isn’t the only one left.  JoJo keeps referring to the fact that she is scared to get her heart broken, or that these guys aren’t ready for marriage, blah blah blah.  JoJo conveniently forgets that she is going to break one of their hearts, theoretically.  This date did not really end on the best of terms.

Finally Neil Lane arrived for the men to pick out JoJo’s ring.  Neil Lane

Now, I have a question.  Does Neil bring his current line as options, or does JoJo get to provide some preference?  Robby picked out a ring that was so unlike JoJo, so he was obviously the one going home.  Before Jordan went ring shopping he call JoJo’s parents & asked for their blessing.  They happily gave it.   Jordan picked out a classic oval ring, which is always the way to go.  Jordan got an A+ for his choice, while Robby got a D in my grade book.  I do keep score.  proposal

Robby was first out of the limo & first to go.  JoJo & Jordan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  We all knew Jordan would be the final guy.  Now the race is on for The Bachelor, will it be Luke or Chase?  Does Chase know enough words to sustain us for an entire season?

Favorite Tweets from the night:  9.19.29.39.49.59.69.79.89.99.109.119.129.139.14

What did y’all think of this season of The Bachelorette?  Did you love JoJo, or love to hate JoJo?  I’m so excited for#BachelorinParadise starting tonight!  I am babysitting though, so the recap will be delayed by a day or so.

Check back later this week for #BIP & #RHONY.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: Is JoJo Here For The Right Reasons

I’m trying to write this blog while dealing with a migraine, so bear with me…

Okay, I’ll say it…JoJo is disappointing me.  In the beginning I adored her, & I thought ABC made a fantastic choice in choosing her as The Bachelorette.  But, ever since she let Wells go, & I’m not even a Wells fan, she has been making terrible decisions.  Now, Wells wasn’t anything special to me but I know Twitter loves him.  Perhaps he didn’t get enough airtime?  My main issue with JoJo is her constantly allowing these men to confess their love, then dumping them, & expecting them to comfort her because she feels bad.  Last night she brought Ben’s betrayal up MULTIPLE times, yet she is doing the same thing to all of these guys.  My respect for JoJo is dwindling…  JoJo expects comfort

Since Luke got fourth place does that take him out of the running for the next Bachelor?  I really hope ABC & Mike Fleiss take this opportunity to start over with an unknown Bachelor or someone from a past season.  None of the men from JoJo’s cast are Bachelor worthy.  Remember back in the days of Andrew Firestone (my favorite of all time), & they all were a little older, with their lives kind of in order, & some wealth?  I miss those days.  These fools are all looking for fame, social media followers, or people to help jump start their music/TV careers.

So, this episode started with last week’s rose ceremony.  JoJo got rid of Luke.  Fine, whatever, she got rid of the only decent one left, BUT she should have done it when he pulled her aside & before he confessed his love.  That is so disrespectful.  She got Luke’s hopes up by allowing him to return to the firing squad rose ceremony.  Luke was understandably, and justifiably, upset, shocked, & angry.  I love that he didn’t hold back in telling JoJo that she was wrong in the way she handled the situation, but remained a gentleman.  #flabbergastedLuke is gone

My philosophy is that Luke looked least like Robby, Jordan, & Chase so he got cut.  She definitely has a thing for douchey Ken doll-type guys.  Do y’all think Chase looks like the lovechild of Jordan & Robby?  JRC

Moving on to Thailand, Robby got the first date.  I’ve said it once, & I’ll say it again – Robby is not marriage material…his family is not in-law material either.  Didn’t his mom seem like she would constantly be meddling in his relationships?  I honestly can’t tell you anything about their date because I don’t care & I don’t like Robby.  He went to fantasy suite, JoJo hearts him, he loves her, they definitely boned.  The End.

Next up: Jordan’s date.  They went on a hike, which sounded boring, but I was cracking up that they needed multiple breaks.  I know its hot & humid in Thailand, but come on JoJo – you’re from Texas.  It’s always hot & humid!  She should’ve been used to this.  JoJo should have looked like this: Humidity

Instead we get this: hik

Life just isn’t fair sometimes, ya know?!?  Anyhow, they continue their hike down into a temple cave.  She had to cover up & Jordan wasn’t allowed to thrust her against a wall & kiss the living daylights out of her.  She really seemed to miss that.  At dinner, JoJo kinda grilled Jordan, & compared him often to Ben. #uncomfortable  He dodged the questions mostly by telling her what she wanted to hear to seal his fate for the Fantasy Suite.  Same outcome as Robby’s Fantasy Suite.

The final date is with Chase.  Y’all he was the most animated he’s ever been!  He actually seemed to be having fun, & actually showed some personality.  There was a monkey named Chad.  JoJo didn’t seemed particularly interested – it kinda came & went throughout the date.  However, she enjoyed another tantric yoga makeout session with Chase, this time on the beach.  As JoJo was getting ready for the dinner portion of the date, Robby stopped by her room because he “missed” her.  Y’all, I think Robby was just trying to play mind games & get in her head…like Chase is real competition for him, puh-lease.  However, it totally worked.  JoJo was so closed off from Chase at dinner, yet she gave him the Fantasy Suite card from our favorite host, Chris Harrison.  Man I miss Chris; JoJo could really use his pep talks, but not like the fake note Robby’s dad wrote!  Anyways, in the suite Chase really opened up & professed his love for JoJo.  Her reaction was less that desired.  Chase FS

She waited a few minutes, collected herself, then dumped his ass & sent him home.  As was deserved, Chase let her have it.  He was understandably mad, as she made a fool out of him.  I liked this Chase.  Who knew he had emotion?  She loves the drama.  drama.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chase did show up at the Rose Ceremony to apologize for his anger, & didn’t expect a rose.  He didn’t want that to be her last impression of him.  #respect  I love when a person can admit that they handled a situation poorly.

At this point JoJo would be better off pulling a Brad Womack & picking no one.  Isn’t it interesting that both Jordan & Robby have had similar scandals this season with their exes?  JoJo is either not looking for a long-term relationship, OR she is attracted to the drama surrounding them.  Jordan & Robby’s situation reminds me of that Patty Loveless song from ’93, Blame It On Your Heart  JoJo theme song

Favorite Tweets from the night:  8.18.28.38.48.58.68.78.88.98.108.118.128.13

I can’t wait to watch the Men Tell All, but I will be a bit delayed & not live tweeting tonight – I’ll be babysitting 4 kiddos!  However, I will post a Caption Crunch edition on Friday!  If y’all like it, I will promise to do some throughout Bachelor in Paradise.

Feel free to leave feedback anytime!  The only way to improve is with constructive criticism.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: Hometown Zeros

Once again I am house/dog sitting & forgot to record the Bachelorette as I watched it.  So, my bright idea of going back to re-watch did not happen; thus, this recap will be more of a Tweet-cap.

I did manage to remember…  Chase had super cute house that was in the middle of a remodel?  Where was that stair railing?!?  This is the most personality we’ve gotten out of him thus far; however, I do think it’s a red flag for him to have not moved on from his parents’ divorce 20+ years ago.  I’m not a child of divorce, so what do I know???

Jordan’s hometown was in Chico, CA, although he lives in Nashville (I think I heard him say that?) with all the other Bachelor Alums.  JoJo was very excited by all the deer.  Girl, you are from Texas – I know you’ve seen deer.  His family all had the same flock of seagulls hair thing going.  Birds of a feather & all that…  This entire date was about Aaron Rodgers & the void he has left (empty chairs).  Shout out to his brother’s girlfriend’s June Carter side-pouf!

Moving on to Robby… His family is HUGE.  I had no idea he had so many siblings.  Where Meemaw?  His mom really stirred the shit, huh?  Apparently, Robby’s ex’s roommate leaked to the tabloids that he dumped Hope to go on the show.  Don’t several people do this each season?  Why is this any different now?  I get that it’s douchey, but why are they making such a big deal about this particular case?  Robby seemed very pressured during this date, like he was trying too hard to convince JoJo of his truth.

Luke’s date in Texas made me long for the Hill Country.  The entire town of Burnet, TX (pronounced Burn-it, not Burn-net) showed up to support Luke & welcome JoJo.  Luke’s dad is the best, might even beat out Sean Lowe’s dad.  I distinctly remember Luke telling his dad, something to the effect of, he knew he needed to say the L-word to JoJo but he hesitated because he’s not the only guy.  I feel like this is a very rational thought to have.  I wouldn’t want to tell someone I loved them until we were in an exclusive relationship & they could vocally reciprocate.  Luke surprised JoJo with a journey to a hay couch…this is where things got awkward to me.  She randomly stared crying & seemed to close herself off from Luke.  You’d think with all their chemistry that she would eat this romantic shit up!  The date was great, but I feel like JoJo left it feeling down.  Luke is totally getting the Bachelor edit.

At the Rose Ceremony, in a terrifying airport hangar, JoJo announced in her confessional that she would be getting rid of Luke.  Luke is going home

To Be Continued…

Best Tweets from the Night (at least in the Central Time Zone):  7.17.27.37.47.57.67.77.87.97.107.117.127.137.14

What did y’all think of this week’s episode?  My theory is that JoJo keeps Jordan & Robby around because she is secretly attracted to their drama.  I thought with her sexual chemistry with Luke that he’d be no-brainer for the Fantasy Suites, but I guess the Bachelor Gods have another plan?

I’ll be Tweeting #RHONY tonight!

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: The Bubble Guts of Dates

No offense to JoJo, but I am so ready for her season to end so we can move on to my FAVORITE Bachelor franchise, Bachelor in Paradise!  Can Jorge please publish a BIP Bartending/Tell All book?

Side Note: have any of you seen the comparisons of the guys to food &/or animals?  Hilarious.  Here are a few, but there are soooo many more.

Alex got the first one on one date.  I may not always agree with JoJo’s decisions (ie. I would’ve sent Alex home last week), but she is always fair.  Since Alex was the only guy left without a one on one, he got the first date this week.  Still in Argentina, Alex & JoJo got to take a luxury car ride to the country side, while the other guys had to take a questionable bus.  I loved the guys rap!  This is such a musical bunch & I hope it is showcased at the Men Tell All.  Alex & JoJo went on a gaucho yoga date with horses.  This was so bizaare…I’d rather watch weird Tantric yoga.  JoJo’s gaucho outfit = HOT; Alex’s outfit = Lord Farquaad.  They basically watched a real gaucho whisper the horse into a nap & then joined the horse.  Poor horse.gaucho 2Alex is actually very attractive…until he speaks or stands up or wears a gaucho getup.  He definitely has “Little Man Syndrome,” which is the most unattractive quality.  At dinner he over-confidently told JoJo that he was falling for her, after spending about a day total with her.  JoJo’s body language was very closed off , which of course Alex was completely oblivious to.  Alex’s downfall was that he was just too smug to realize that JoJo wasn’t interested & he was going home.

Jordan, aka the front runner, got the second date card.  I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I can’t stand him.  Confidence is so sexy, but he is flat out arrogant?  Insincere?  I can’t put my finger on it.  Maybe it’s all the negative press he’s gotten, which I see here & there…  Anyways, he & JoJo went on a Lucy & Ethel  date making wine.  Then they drank it..from each other’s feet y’all.  #grossJoJo & Jordan

At dinner Jordan excitedly told JoJo that he was ready to bring her home to meet his mama.  Our girl was obviously fishing for info about Aaron Rogers, to which Jordan said they do not speak & that he wouldn’t be there.  I found this to be suspicious because the tabloids insinuate that his ex-girlfriend is BFF with Olivia Munn (Aaron’s girlfriend).  Regardless, JoJo had stars in her eyes when Jordan said he loved her.  Take notes Alex.

Chase, James, & Robby got the group date this week.  Because there was inclement weather, JoJo decided to host a slumber party in her suite.  They played games, gave each other massages, James played Chubby Bunnies with french fries, Robby stripped down to his boxer briefs & apologized to his meemaw.  James Taylor took it to a weird place when he randomly threw Robby under the bus for having eyes looking at other girls.  Keep in mind that JoJo is dating six men.  James reminds me a little of Jeb Bush.  James Taylor

Robby got the rose & the group date continued as a one on one.

Luke went on the last one on one.  His date was surprisingly short, but JoJo seems the most confident in her relationship with Luke.  So many people think he gives off a creepy vibe, but Luke is still my favorite.  Can you tell me this is not a cute Texan couple?  JoJo & Luke

They seem real & down to earth.

James Taylor was sent home at the Rose Ceremony.  I think JoJo & JT were equally upset about it.  They both balled like babies…very different from Alex’s departure.  JoJo's Suitors - Week 6

Now that Alex & James are gone, which we knew would happen last week do we even need to watch the rest of the Season?  All of the guys left are easily interchangeable.  It’s also obvious to anyone with eyes that JoJo will pick Jordan & it won’t work out (I smell an Andi/Josh situation brewing with those two), Jordan will get the notoriety/ESPN job that he is seeking, & JoJo will manage to come out smelling like a rose (no pun intended), perhaps hooking up with a fellow Bachelor Alumni from past seasons.  I think Arie is still single…

My favorite Tweets from the night: 6.16.26.36.46.56.66.76.86.96.106.116.126.13

What did you guys this of the episode this week?  Do you think James & Carly will sing a duet in Paradise?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: How Do You Say Boring in Spanish?

Y’all, was it just me or were any of you hoping this episode would hurry up & end?  It was kinda boring, right?

I don’t really get the appeal of Wells.  WellsIf any of you listen to the Bobby Bones Show, he reminds me of a poor man’s Bobby…except for that whole NY Times Bestseller thing.

The guys were all dicks for embarrassing Wells, & shaming him for not kissing JoJo yet.  Perhaps he didn’t want to catch the other guys’ STDs by getting their sloppy seconds on the group dates?  Never the less, Wells ended up in the friend zone & got sent home.

The Group Date was with James, Jordan, Alex, Robby, & Luke.  They played soccer (I think).  I was happy to see that James Taylor’s eye seemed to be healing nicely, & I no longer had to look at a swollen, bloodshot eye.  This date was super boring, but I think JoJo enjoys being hoisted onto their shoulders, thus the sports theme.  The night got slightly interesting when James tattled told JoJo that Jordan is entitled.  I think James got confused because it never bodes well for the tattler; however, all the guys said something to JoJo about Chad & he got the boot.  I could see how he was confused, but Jordan is the obvious front runner.  The whole skirmish was over a game of poker.  Really guys, really?  Did anyone notice how Jordan swirled his wine glass with entitlement after JoJo confronted him?

Moving on to the unprecedented second 2 on 1 date with Chase & Derek.  They did a three person tango, which is a really interesting concept.  JoJo’s dress was gorg.  During the dancing, I pictured the dance from Center Stage, but was singing “El Tango de Roxanne” from Moulin Rouge in my head.  tango

Ultimately, Derek got sent home.  He cried like a “little bitch” as Alex would say.  Loved that they played the entire song from Evita, “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.”

We all thought James or Alex would not be getting a rose, but low & behold JoJo surprised & got an extra rose from Chris Harrison, so no one went home at the Rose Ceremony.  Alex took great offense to it & referred to it as a pity rose in his confessional. JoJo's Suiters

Favorite Tweets from the night:  5.15.25.35.45.55.65.75.85.95.105.115.125.135.145.155.165.175.18

Did y’all like last night’s episode?  Any favorite moments?  Anything I missed?

Until next time…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Tweet-Cap

Hi y’all, I’m sure you’ve been anxiously awaiting my blog post about this week’s Bachelorette.  Monday, I stayed true to my boyfriend Shep, & recapped Southern Charm’s finale.  My new DVR did not record the Bachelorette, but I added it to the queue retroactively.

However, last night I chose to go see my friend’s new house & drink grapefruit mojitos. #priorities  All of that to say there will be no recap this week, but I did manage to catch a few Tweets that I thought were funny.  get a life

So, without having watched the episode, here are my favorite tweets from the night:  4.14.24.34.44.54.64.74.8

I will be live tweeting & recapping the RHONY tonight.

Kiss Hug,

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