The Bachelorette: Hometown Bores

You guys, this will be a Tweet-Cap as this week was uninspired.  The only things I learned were that 1) I love Aunt Verna; 2) Eric for the next Bachelor; and 3) ABC/Mike Fleiss really love to exploit peoples’ vulnerabilities.  Rachel really shouldn’t have been put in a situation that she had to mediate between Dean & his dad.  Ugly.  Sloppy.  Lazy.

Without further ado… E8.1E8.2E8.3E8.4E8.5

I’m not sure why, but I always seem to lose interest during this part of the season.  I would like for all females int his franchise to stop with the run & jumps. run & jumps

We were left with these men as the final three, no one was shocked. Final 3

So, here’s how I’d like to see the rest of the season play out:
Dean for Paradise or Winter Games
Bryan for Rachel
Eric for Bachelor
Peter for me

I don’t think that’s asking too much?  I find Peters salt & pepper hair a real turn on.  Hubba hubba!

What did y’all think of last night’s episode?  Bryan’s mom was pretty scary, but exactly as I thought she’d be.  Peter’s mom & Nick’s mom clearly have the same hair stylist.  We should have met Dean’s friends instead of his family…or maybe just his siblings.  Thoughts?

Later this week, I’ll post my final thoughts on Southern Charm.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Swiss Cheese

The gang moved on to Geneva, Switzerland.  Rachel informed the guys that there will not be a rose ceremony; seriously, what does ABC have against ending an episode properly???  She told them that there would be three 1-on-1 dates & a 3-on-1 date.  If you don’t get a rose – syanara.

First 1-on-1: Bryan

Bryan reminds me of Ari from Emily Maynard’s season.  He has nothing to say, so he just makes out with Rachel.  Not much to say about this date.  Bryan doesn’t care about the United Nations, they drove a fancy car, they got fancy watches, & then made out for eleventy million years.  Their lips must be so chapped, & Rachel’s face probably has a rash from his beard.

Rachel said she’s sees a different side of Bryan every time she’s with him.  I only see the side of his tongue as he rams it down her throat… BryanJosh Murray called, he wants his gross schtick back.  Luckily for Bryan he’s not quite as gross as Josh, but he’s not as smooth as Ari either.  He’s stuck between a tongue & a hard place.

Bryan got a hometown date.

Second 1-on-1: Dean

Rachel took Dean to a French Catholic mass…worst date ever?  I really only ever want to be at church if I get to sing Christmas music, but I digress…  ChurchDean totally pulled a Will – he was in his head worrying about hometowns.  Rachel basically had to be his therapist.

Dean confided that his dad wasn’t able to be the father he needed him to be after his mom passed away.  I get it.  He is so leery of Rachel meeting the fam.

Dean got the rose – hometown bound.

Third 1-on-1: Peter

They toured Switzerland in a helicopter & dog sled.  The madeout in a blizzard & Peter had half up-half down bangs…still hot AF.  Peter told a sad story about his ex.  Peter is taking Rachel home – duh! Peter

Group Date: Adam, Eric, Matt

Boat ride, big waves.  Adam hates difficult things.  Eric thinks Rachel works hard, but she doesn’t give herself enough credit.  Matt made Rachel cry because he’s her BFF in the house, but she sent him home.  I feel like a date with Adam is always going to be a 2-on-1 date with Adam Jr.

Eric got the rose; Adam was surprised he went home – how?  I actually liked Adam’s personality, at least the two seconds we saw.

I called this weeks ago, but the Final Four are: Final 4

Favorite tweets from the night: E7.1E7.2E7.3E7.4

What did y’all think of this week’s episode?  Rachel was starting to lose her shit, right?  The previews for hometowns look CRAZY!

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Snakey ReptiLEEan LEEzard

Sorry for no blog posts last week…and late this week.  Better late than never, right?  I got a new laptop & things took a while to load & work properly.  Plus, I was super swamped with work.

Quickly to recap last week’s episode… On the first 1-on-1 date, Dean was terrified of heights & blimps.  He also had a sad childhood.  Dean got the rose.  On the group date we learned that the guys can’t spell, except for Josiah.  He was very modest about it.  Lee is still a racist jackass, & Iggy is not far behind him in the drama arena.  Lee took great pleasure in provoking all the guys Kenny by making him seem like the stereotypical “angry black man.”  I find it so irresponsible of the producers to perpetuate this…Kenny thus far has been nothing but nice; he’s also a father of a young daughter – this could have damaging effects on his real life.  Not to mention that they are allowing Lee to make a fool of everyone, but most importantly Rachel every week they make her keep him around.

At the start of the episode, we are left with the guys below:Beginning

Monday Night:

This week picked up still on the Spelling Bee group date.  Four minutes in, Rachel & Bryan are making out.  While Lee made all the other guys super uncomfortable.  Never trust a man who willing orders champagne while not at brunch.

Bryan got the group date rose.

Jack got the last one-on-one.  Rachel said they have a lot in common on paper. They went Shuckin’ & Shaggin’ in Hilton Head.  Jack Stone proved to be a special kind of dancer. Jack Stone

Back at the hotel, Will very thoughtfully schooled Lee in the basics of racism.  Lee doesn’t understand the “race card.”

Jack did not get the rose.

No rose ceremony, which I agreed wasn’t necessary.  They all suck at this point, except for Peter, Bryan, & Dean. E5 Men End

Iggy & Tickle Monster go home…rightfully so.  However, we never did learn from Iggy if steroids in the nuts is a new form of birth control for men.

Moving on to Oslo, Norway:

1-on-1 Date: Bryan

Dean & Bryan have a rivalry.  Bryan & Rachel repelled 187′ the Ski Jump of one of the Winter Olympics; 1-8-7 is apparently code for murder.  Surprisingly Rachel was terrified & Bryan easily calmed her down – by smacking lips with her.  He is in it to win it y’all.  Final four contender for sure.

Back at the hotel, Eric expressed his concern that 1 out of the 5 1-on-1’s was with a black guy – Anthony.  Wise ol’ Anthony pointed out that the “brothas” are not interchangeable in her mind, but that she needs to build trust slowly.

Bryan got the rose.

Group Date: Adam, Dean, Anthony, Peter, Matt, Will, Alex, Eric, Josiah “I’m looking for a man that’s good with his hands.”

They play handball…a combo of basketball, soccer, & buns up?  I wish, just once, they’d play a fun round of SPOONS, Sardines, or Heads Up 7 Up…maybe a domino tournament, you know good old fashion fun.  Will was the best ever at handball.  They basically ran around the gym in Spanx while we all hid from TMI.

At the cocktail portion of the group date, Rachel pointed out to Josiah the he talks at her, but never asks questions & definitely doesn’t listen.  He didn’t seem to get the hint.  I LOVE Peter!!! She always pursues Peter, which I think bodes well for him.  Don’t we all want to get in the bone zone with Peter?

Will got the rose.

2-on-1 Date: Kenny & Lee “Your fate is up in the air.”

I could easily skip this date.  Call me crazy, but it just doesn’t seem right for ABC to put two black people in the woods with a white racist who works out in jeans & boots.  Isn’t Get Out based on something kinda similar?  Rachel’s inclination is to trust Kenny; Lee’s inclination is to ruin that.  I’m disgusted by Lee, he makes my skin crawl.

Favorite tweets from Monday Night: E5.1e5.2E5.3

Tuesday Night:

We pick up with the 2-on-1 date.  Oddly enough, this was our first helicopter of the season.

Rose Ceremony: The Men E6

Josiah – take notes from Anthony…such a graceful exit.

Moving on to Denmark.

Rachel has a view of a castle that was Shakespeare’s inspiration for Hamlet.  Ummm, wasn’t Hamlet a dark play?

1-on-1 Date: Eric “‘Copen’ to Love”

Eric is still so dance-y.  This is where Josiah failed, Eric asks real questions & is genuinely interested in Rachel.  They just played around the city of Copenhagen.  This is my favorite date so far.  Shockingly, this was our first date with a hot tub.  These Bachelor staples are crippling my fantasy league.

Group Date: Dean, Kenny, Bryan, Alex, Matt, Peter, Adam “I’ve taken a viking to you guys”

The guys are forced by Tom & Morton to play some kind of Larping game where they dance fight in Viking gear. larping

Kenny & Adam got hurt, but ultimately Kenny won the challenge.  During his time with Rachel, she & Kenny agreed that he should go be with his daughter.  All that drama with Lee only for Kenny to take himself out of the running…what the what?

1-on-1 Date: Will

We head to the land of IKEA…wouldn’t that be a fun group date challenge?  Make them all assemble IKEA furniture.  Where are Ashton & Mila to make this happen?

Will forgot how to talk on this date, so Rachel sent him home.

Rose Ceremony: Final 6

Is everyone shocked that Adam & Matt are staying over Alex????  What am I missing?  Rachel only spoke to Matt about how Kenny’s eye was doing.

Favorite tweets from the night: E6.1

What did y’all think of the two night event?  I could have done without Tuesday’s episode.  I’m so glad we’re back to our regularly scheduled Rose Ceremonies.  Who are in your Final Four?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Rachel “Left Eye” Lindsay

Sorry for the delay in getting this post up!  So, let’s just dig right in, shall we?

We open right back up where we left off last week; Paulie holding DeMario back from the gate, & Chris Harrison finally doing some real work – holding the guys back so that Rachel can have a private(ish) conversation with DeMario.  His character was assassinated – not to self don’t try to use that kind of talk with a lawyer.  Rachel told him, “I need a man, & what I saw was a boy.”  She sent him home again.

Cocktail Party Continues:
Blake is apparently in love with Lucas & stands over his bed, eating bananas, as told to Rachel by WhaBoom.  This is obviously a lie because Blake is on a Ketogenic diet & doesn’t eat carbs.  Lucas & Blake are so annoying.

Luckily for us, Rachel sends them both home to save our weary souls.

Men left standing after the Rose Ceremony: First Rose Ceremony

Afterwards, Blake & Lucas have the dumbest fake fight.  Seemed real rehearsed to me.

Group Date 1: Bryan, Jonathan, Peter, Alex, Will, Fred
Date Card: Lights, Camera, Action

They went on the Ellen Show.  Rachel claims Ellen is her spirit animal.  The guys strip, why again?  Alex twerked.  What the hell were those pants? Group Date 1

The guys played Never Have I Ever on Ellen.  Alex said something weird about Rachel looking him in the eye, left eye to left eye.  I found a few interesting articles regarding eye contact…you can check them out here & here.

Fred is so sweet, but kind of a sad sack Eeyore.  Three of the six guys kissed Rachel, which made Fred insecure.   He finally kissed her & it was the most awkward…and loud, very smack-y.  Rachel said she felt like she was kissing a boy.  She couldn’t get “bad Freddy” out of her mind.  Rachel did the only decent thing she could & sent Fred home…while holding the Group Date rose, which was kinda cruel.  Alex got the group date rose.

1-on-1 Date: Anthony
Date Card: Meet Me at the Rodeo

They went horseback riding on Rodeo Dr.  They rode their horses into a store to get boots with the spurs, big buckles, & cowboy hats.  This is not the OK Corral, it’s more like the Not Okay Corral.  Anthony's Date

As much as I like Anthony, this date was boring.  Anthony got the rose.

Group Date 2: Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, Eric
Date Card: Sometimes in Relationships, Women Have to Take Charge

Waiting for the group date, Eric’s insecurity is showing.  He attacked Iggy, though a producer Iggy egged him on.

Rachel’s girls from last season showed up & planned the date – Raven, Jasmine, Corinne, & Alexis.  Rachel said “my girls” 11, 234, 987 times…I counted.  I was so uncomfortable with this date.  Mud wrestling.  Bryce won, beating poor, tired Kenny.  Not going to lie, for most of this date I was hiding behind my laptop laughing hysterically…similar to how I behave in front of strippers. group 2

Surprisingly, Eric got the group date rose.

Cocktail Party:
Iggy questions Eric’s fit for Rachel…to Rachel.  Iggy is the Evan of this season.  Lee talks shit about Eric screaming at Iggy.   Okay, so based on Lee’s social media, we learned this past week that he is racist…unapologetically.  But, is he not an equal opportunity racist?  He has a problem with Eric, but not Iggy.  Looks like he’ll have more issues with Will & Josiah (or was it Kenny?).

To Be Continued…

There were a lot of fantastic Tweets from the night; these were my faves: E3.1E3.2E3.3E3.4E3.5E3.6E3.7E3.8E3.9

I hate when we don’t get a rose ceremony, it really throws off my bracket picks.  Who are we loving?  We obviously hate Lee & Tickle Monster, right?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Kareemed by an Ex

Ugh!  I had internet issues last night, it wasn’t even storming, so this couldn’t be posted last night.  Some of my observations are based on my reactions as I watched in real-time. Overall, last night’s episode was pretty good…drama wasted no time!  As per ushe, we started with Chris Harrison greeting the men after a quick wardrobe change to make us think it was a new day after the first rose ceremony.

Group Date: Dean, Jack, Jonathan, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Fred, Lucas

Ashton & Mila!  OMG!!!  Kelso & Jackie arrived to greet the guys & let them know that they would be competing for Rachel on the Ultimate Dad obstacle course.  Ashton said Rachel is looking for a real man…with health insurance.  He could not be more correct. Whaboom, Blake, & Dean definitely don’t have health insurance…probably not a 401k either.

Shocking everyone, Lucas won the race!  He beat out Kenny by shoving him out of the way.  Blake cried about it.  I think WhaBoom’s baby was probably dead by the end, but he won.  Ashton, Mila, & Rachel’s reactions were the best!  Somehow I think Rachel would rather have spent extra time with Kenny.Lucas

Lucas wasn’t as annoying during his 1-on-1 time, although he wore a hideous, distracting suit.  Fred told her that he has grown up & matured.  Jonathan taught her how to change a diaper – gross…why was he showing her this?  He doesn’t have children (as far as we know).  Rachel thought all the convos were mundane…until Dean sat down with her. Kenny did well too.  I love Kenny!

Blake’s obsession with Lucas is more annoying than Lucas being here.  The other guys are so unimpressed with Blake & Lucas.  I think it was Kenny that mentioned that the “white guys” were giving them all a bad name – I paraphrased.

Dean got the rose.  He sealed it with a kiss…which Rachel was in to!  Thank god he didn’t eat her face like Bryan did on night one.

1-on-1: Peter

Copper joined their date to Palm Springs.  I love all the dogs!!!  Barkfest looks fun!  But, seriously, what happened to Copper’s leg?  Did he have a cast last episode?  Peter is so hot! Rachel called it, Peter is dreamy.

Rachel’s dinner dress was beautiful.  If she doesn’t pick Peter, I’ll take him.  They talk about the gap in their teeth…if that was my only problem with my teeth, I’d keep it too.  They are so cute together.  They also talked about going to therapy after really bad breakups.  Have we ever had such real talk this early in season?

Peter got the rose. Peter

Group Date 2: Will, Jamey, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, Josiah, DeMario

Basketball with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar!  Who cares about the actual basketball game, get to the girlfriend!  Rachel was annoyed by Eric’s antics to get noticed.  I loved that Rachel got bored by the game & started dancing with the band…me too girl, me too.  Rachel is smitten with DeMario, which means the girlfriend is his right? Called it.  She sent DeMario home.  Lexi & DeMario annoyed me so much – they wouldn’t let Rachel talk.  Lawyer Rachel had to come out & give DeMario a reckoning.

Before heading to the Group Date cocktail party, Rachel needed a few minutes to collect herself.  She totally bi-passed Chris Harrison – so much for his pep talk.  Anyway, the show must go on right?  I think Rachel handled herself really well with the guys.

I thought Diggy, Eric, & Josiah had the most impressive 1-on-1’s with Rachel.

Josiah got the rose.

Of course this took the entire two hours, so no rose ceremony – this royally pisses me off as most of you know.  DeMario showed back up to ruin the Rose Ceremony…I think the guys are planning to lynch him.

Current men left (I use the term men loosely) & who got date roses: The Men E2

Favorite Tweets from the night: E2.1E2.2E2.3E2.4E2.5

What did y’all think of last night’s episode?  I thought Blake was far more annoying than Whaboom.  I’m okay that DeMario is gone because he’s a douche & Diggy looks just like him.  For some reason I get Iggy & Will mixed up…they looking nothing alike, but I’m always surprised to see them.

The Southern Charm recap will be up later today & RHONY later this week.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: WhaBoo

This post is a recap of my first impressions of the guys as they came out of the limo.  As y’all know, Night One is my least favorite due to the sheer number of people I’m expected to remember.  Why was 31 guys the magic number?  All The Men

Without further ado…

In order out of the limo:
Peter: 30: WI – Holy Hottie McHot Pants!  He is much better looking in person, & he was hot in his bio.  They have the same gap in their teeth.
Josiah: 28: FL – Legal terms! “See you later litigator.”
Bryan: 37: FL – Same outfit as Josiah? Speaks Spanish. Rachel flirted with him.
Kenny: 35: NV – He reminds me of Terry from Brooklyn 99.
Rob: 29: TX – He’s from Houston, based on his bio I thought he’d be from the UK or Canada.
Iggy: 30: IL – Iggy was not the body shape I anticipated, but I called it on the hipster.
Bryce: 30: FL – He literally picked her up.  Wore his uniform.
Will: 28: FL – Just say no to Urkel.
Diggy: 31: IL – He wants to teach her how to Diggy.  Can you dig it?
Kyle: 26: CA – He can bake…apparently.
Blake K.: 29: CA – Hot Asian.  i still think he looks like Craig Conover from Southern Charm.
Brady: 29: FL – So many guys from Florida!  He looks like he’s been workin’ on the railroad all the live long day.
Dean: 26: CA – Rachel actually remembered him.  He is better looking in person.
Eric: 29: CA – he looks so much like the character from Get Out that was with the old white lady.  Dancing is their thing.
DeMario: 30: CA – He is good looking.  These guys love a bow tie.  Over-confident.
Blake E.: 31: CA – Hired a marching band.  So, the aspiring drummer wants to be in Drum Line. Nick Cannon should be afraid.
Fred: 27: TX – He knew Rachel from childhood – he was kinda creepy about it.  Rachel calls him “Fredrick, the bad little boy.”
Jonathan: 31: FL – Ewww, tickle monster.
Lee: 30: TN – He’s not as good as Wes from Jillian’s season, but already as annoying.
Alex: 28: MI – Vacuum cleaner?
Milton: 31: FL – He took a selfie with Rachel & purred at her.  Gross.
Adam: 26: TX – He brought a puppet, Adam Jr.
Matt: 32: CT – Dressed as a penguin. Waddling right into her heart.
Grant: 29: NY – Arrived in an ambulance.
Anthony: 26: IL – His head wasn’t as misshapen in person.  Wears an earring.
Jamey: 32: CA – Seemed a little effeminate.
Jack Stone: 31: TX – Has she ever seen him in court?
Mohit: 26: CA – Reminds me of Mike from Shahs of Sunset.
Jedidiah: 35: GA – He went biblical on her, shocker.
Michael: 26: IL – Lots of Chicago guys too!
Lucas: 30: CA – Testicle talk through Kenya Moore’s megaphone.  I wish she really could send him back to the limo.  Is Whaboom a rip-off of the Tasmanian Devil?  Does it give him a migraine to yell & shake like that?

Observations:

  • First make out sesh goes to Bryan.
  • DeMario knows A LOT about pop culture.
    • Might have a thing for Justin Timberlake related obsession.
  • Mo is d-runk…the Mike from Shahs comparison holds up.
  • Milton sounds like Josh Murray…I can’t handle the purring.
  • Fun Fact: Blake E. & Lucas were on a previous reality show together & they did not get along.
  • Kenny is kinda sweet.
  • Rachel is walking like her feet hurt.
  • Josiah is wearing on my nerves.  He & DeMario egg each other on.

First Impression Rose: Bryan

Roses awarded to: Survivors

Would you guys prefer me to keep all the guys & change their photo to B &W when they go, or just remove them (like above)?

Favorite Tweets from the night: E1.1E1.2E1.3E1.4E1.5

What did y’all think of Rachel’s guys?  Are any of them a keeper?  How annoying was Lucas?

My Southern Charm recap will be up later today.  RHONY up on Wednesday/Thursday.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Meet & Greet

Y’all, as I’m sure you know, the beautiful Rachel Lindsay is back as the Bachelorette! Rachel In Case you’ve forgotten, or live under a rock, Rachel is the 32 yo lawyer from Dallas, that got dumped by Nick…he’s a moron.

This is my typical,  first impression post about the contestants.
Vocabulary to know:
IBB: Impression Before Bio – this is my initial first reaction to the guys’ pictures.
IAB: Impression After Bio – obviously this is what I think after I read their bios.

Meet the guys! G1G2G3G4G5G6G7G8

These guys are obsessed with Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson, Denzel Washington, & Matthew McConaughey like last season’s girls were obsessed with mermaids, dolphins, & Olivia Pope.

I’m still trying to decide if I will focus more on recapping my beloved Southern Charm or The Bachelorette.  Southern Charm needs to kick this season into gear because so far it have been a snooze fest with way too much Landon & Craig.  I will definitely recap both, but I may skip the boring episodes.

What were your first impressions of the guys?  Will you be doing a fantasy league?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: Jordan Finally Won

Well, the outcome was exactly what everyone had been saying from night one.  The worst kept secret in Bachelorette History???  I secretly wanted JoJo to pull a Brad Womack (his first time) & choose no one.  I was Team JoJo more than any of the guys.

The episode starts in Phuket, Thailand with Jordan meeting her family first.  I love that he brought funny hats for everyone to wear.  There is nothing I love more than a game to change an awkward family gathering.  Apples to Apples is a staple at my family gatherings, along with booze of course.  Jordan’s interactions with her parents seemed to go well; he was charming as he’s ever been.  He did neglect to ask her father for JoJo’s hand, but I felt that he made his intentions very clear.

Side note: the internet really poo-pooed on this tradition, but the thing is that JoJo told the guys that asking her father’s permission was extremely important to her.  It’s a Southern thing that maybe everyone doesn’t understand.  I’m a proud feminist, but I too love this tradition.

Next up Robby met the fam.  He made a fantastic impression on all of them, basically blew Jordan out of the water!  To me, he was trying too hard & seemed insincere, but he was in it to win it.  Robby managed to ask both her parents for their blessings, which he got in spades.  The entire family fell for Robby, even the brothers…too bad JoJo wasn’t interested.

JoJo met back with her family to discuss the guys; she was devastated to learn that they all preferred Robby to Jordan.  Cue the tears…  Where were the creepy, possessive, kiss-on-the-mouth brothers from last season?  brothers

Does JoJo have a sister?  I have never seen that gal before!  sister

Her brother brought up a valid point that she was vehemently defending Jordan, which made it pretty clear to him that she loved Jordan.

The next day, Robby & Joelle had their final date.  Honestly, I tune out during all the mushy, love-slut stuff.  Robby drives me insane by calling JoJo by her full name, Joelle, or worse shortening her nickname to Jo.  Something about Robby is really icky, for lack of a better word – he’s just off putting.  He’s a snazzy dresser, his hair defies all logic, but there is just something icky about him, right?

The final day is spent with Jordan (y’all, for some reason I almost wrote Luke – Freudian slip).  JoJo is trying too hard to make it work with Jordan.  She is clearly aggravated with him & is passive aggressively trying to figure out why he didn’t ask for her hand.  His answer was very logical, which was that he isn’t the only one left.  JoJo keeps referring to the fact that she is scared to get her heart broken, or that these guys aren’t ready for marriage, blah blah blah.  JoJo conveniently forgets that she is going to break one of their hearts, theoretically.  This date did not really end on the best of terms.

Finally Neil Lane arrived for the men to pick out JoJo’s ring.  Neil Lane

Now, I have a question.  Does Neil bring his current line as options, or does JoJo get to provide some preference?  Robby picked out a ring that was so unlike JoJo, so he was obviously the one going home.  Before Jordan went ring shopping he call JoJo’s parents & asked for their blessing.  They happily gave it.   Jordan picked out a classic oval ring, which is always the way to go.  Jordan got an A+ for his choice, while Robby got a D in my grade book.  I do keep score.  proposal

Robby was first out of the limo & first to go.  JoJo & Jordan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  We all knew Jordan would be the final guy.  Now the race is on for The Bachelor, will it be Luke or Chase?  Does Chase know enough words to sustain us for an entire season?

Favorite Tweets from the night:  9.19.29.39.49.59.69.79.89.99.109.119.129.139.14

What did y’all think of this season of The Bachelorette?  Did you love JoJo, or love to hate JoJo?  I’m so excited for#BachelorinParadise starting tonight!  I am babysitting though, so the recap will be delayed by a day or so.

Check back later this week for #BIP & #RHONY.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: Is JoJo Here For The Right Reasons

I’m trying to write this blog while dealing with a migraine, so bear with me…

Okay, I’ll say it…JoJo is disappointing me.  In the beginning I adored her, & I thought ABC made a fantastic choice in choosing her as The Bachelorette.  But, ever since she let Wells go, & I’m not even a Wells fan, she has been making terrible decisions.  Now, Wells wasn’t anything special to me but I know Twitter loves him.  Perhaps he didn’t get enough airtime?  My main issue with JoJo is her constantly allowing these men to confess their love, then dumping them, & expecting them to comfort her because she feels bad.  Last night she brought Ben’s betrayal up MULTIPLE times, yet she is doing the same thing to all of these guys.  My respect for JoJo is dwindling…  JoJo expects comfort

Since Luke got fourth place does that take him out of the running for the next Bachelor?  I really hope ABC & Mike Fleiss take this opportunity to start over with an unknown Bachelor or someone from a past season.  None of the men from JoJo’s cast are Bachelor worthy.  Remember back in the days of Andrew Firestone (my favorite of all time), & they all were a little older, with their lives kind of in order, & some wealth?  I miss those days.  These fools are all looking for fame, social media followers, or people to help jump start their music/TV careers.

So, this episode started with last week’s rose ceremony.  JoJo got rid of Luke.  Fine, whatever, she got rid of the only decent one left, BUT she should have done it when he pulled her aside & before he confessed his love.  That is so disrespectful.  She got Luke’s hopes up by allowing him to return to the firing squad rose ceremony.  Luke was understandably, and justifiably, upset, shocked, & angry.  I love that he didn’t hold back in telling JoJo that she was wrong in the way she handled the situation, but remained a gentleman.  #flabbergastedLuke is gone

My philosophy is that Luke looked least like Robby, Jordan, & Chase so he got cut.  She definitely has a thing for douchey Ken doll-type guys.  Do y’all think Chase looks like the lovechild of Jordan & Robby?  JRC

Moving on to Thailand, Robby got the first date.  I’ve said it once, & I’ll say it again – Robby is not marriage material…his family is not in-law material either.  Didn’t his mom seem like she would constantly be meddling in his relationships?  I honestly can’t tell you anything about their date because I don’t care & I don’t like Robby.  He went to fantasy suite, JoJo hearts him, he loves her, they definitely boned.  The End.

Next up: Jordan’s date.  They went on a hike, which sounded boring, but I was cracking up that they needed multiple breaks.  I know its hot & humid in Thailand, but come on JoJo – you’re from Texas.  It’s always hot & humid!  She should’ve been used to this.  JoJo should have looked like this: Humidity

Instead we get this: hik

Life just isn’t fair sometimes, ya know?!?  Anyhow, they continue their hike down into a temple cave.  She had to cover up & Jordan wasn’t allowed to thrust her against a wall & kiss the living daylights out of her.  She really seemed to miss that.  At dinner, JoJo kinda grilled Jordan, & compared him often to Ben. #uncomfortable  He dodged the questions mostly by telling her what she wanted to hear to seal his fate for the Fantasy Suite.  Same outcome as Robby’s Fantasy Suite.

The final date is with Chase.  Y’all he was the most animated he’s ever been!  He actually seemed to be having fun, & actually showed some personality.  There was a monkey named Chad.  JoJo didn’t seemed particularly interested – it kinda came & went throughout the date.  However, she enjoyed another tantric yoga makeout session with Chase, this time on the beach.  As JoJo was getting ready for the dinner portion of the date, Robby stopped by her room because he “missed” her.  Y’all, I think Robby was just trying to play mind games & get in her head…like Chase is real competition for him, puh-lease.  However, it totally worked.  JoJo was so closed off from Chase at dinner, yet she gave him the Fantasy Suite card from our favorite host, Chris Harrison.  Man I miss Chris; JoJo could really use his pep talks, but not like the fake note Robby’s dad wrote!  Anyways, in the suite Chase really opened up & professed his love for JoJo.  Her reaction was less that desired.  Chase FS

She waited a few minutes, collected herself, then dumped his ass & sent him home.  As was deserved, Chase let her have it.  He was understandably mad, as she made a fool out of him.  I liked this Chase.  Who knew he had emotion?  She loves the drama.  drama.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chase did show up at the Rose Ceremony to apologize for his anger, & didn’t expect a rose.  He didn’t want that to be her last impression of him.  #respect  I love when a person can admit that they handled a situation poorly.

At this point JoJo would be better off pulling a Brad Womack & picking no one.  Isn’t it interesting that both Jordan & Robby have had similar scandals this season with their exes?  JoJo is either not looking for a long-term relationship, OR she is attracted to the drama surrounding them.  Jordan & Robby’s situation reminds me of that Patty Loveless song from ’93, Blame It On Your Heart  JoJo theme song

Favorite Tweets from the night:  8.18.28.38.48.58.68.78.88.98.108.118.128.13

I can’t wait to watch the Men Tell All, but I will be a bit delayed & not live tweeting tonight – I’ll be babysitting 4 kiddos!  However, I will post a Caption Crunch edition on Friday!  If y’all like it, I will promise to do some throughout Bachelor in Paradise.

Feel free to leave feedback anytime!  The only way to improve is with constructive criticism.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: Hometown Zeros

Once again I am house/dog sitting & forgot to record the Bachelorette as I watched it.  So, my bright idea of going back to re-watch did not happen; thus, this recap will be more of a Tweet-cap.

I did manage to remember…  Chase had super cute house that was in the middle of a remodel?  Where was that stair railing?!?  This is the most personality we’ve gotten out of him thus far; however, I do think it’s a red flag for him to have not moved on from his parents’ divorce 20+ years ago.  I’m not a child of divorce, so what do I know???

Jordan’s hometown was in Chico, CA, although he lives in Nashville (I think I heard him say that?) with all the other Bachelor Alums.  JoJo was very excited by all the deer.  Girl, you are from Texas – I know you’ve seen deer.  His family all had the same flock of seagulls hair thing going.  Birds of a feather & all that…  This entire date was about Aaron Rodgers & the void he has left (empty chairs).  Shout out to his brother’s girlfriend’s June Carter side-pouf!

Moving on to Robby… His family is HUGE.  I had no idea he had so many siblings.  Where Meemaw?  His mom really stirred the shit, huh?  Apparently, Robby’s ex’s roommate leaked to the tabloids that he dumped Hope to go on the show.  Don’t several people do this each season?  Why is this any different now?  I get that it’s douchey, but why are they making such a big deal about this particular case?  Robby seemed very pressured during this date, like he was trying too hard to convince JoJo of his truth.

Luke’s date in Texas made me long for the Hill Country.  The entire town of Burnet, TX (pronounced Burn-it, not Burn-net) showed up to support Luke & welcome JoJo.  Luke’s dad is the best, might even beat out Sean Lowe’s dad.  I distinctly remember Luke telling his dad, something to the effect of, he knew he needed to say the L-word to JoJo but he hesitated because he’s not the only guy.  I feel like this is a very rational thought to have.  I wouldn’t want to tell someone I loved them until we were in an exclusive relationship & they could vocally reciprocate.  Luke surprised JoJo with a journey to a hay couch…this is where things got awkward to me.  She randomly stared crying & seemed to close herself off from Luke.  You’d think with all their chemistry that she would eat this romantic shit up!  The date was great, but I feel like JoJo left it feeling down.  Luke is totally getting the Bachelor edit.

At the Rose Ceremony, in a terrifying airport hangar, JoJo announced in her confessional that she would be getting rid of Luke.  Luke is going home

To Be Continued…

Best Tweets from the Night (at least in the Central Time Zone):  7.17.27.37.47.57.67.77.87.97.107.117.127.137.14

What did y’all think of this week’s episode?  My theory is that JoJo keeps Jordan & Robby around because she is secretly attracted to their drama.  I thought with her sexual chemistry with Luke that he’d be no-brainer for the Fantasy Suites, but I guess the Bachelor Gods have another plan?

I’ll be Tweeting #RHONY tonight!

Kiss Hug,

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