The Bachelorette: Retire the “Damn Thing”

BeccaLet me start this recap by saying a few things:

  1. I really struggled with wanting to recap this season because I have not forgiven Mike Fleiss & ABC for basically turning Arie’s breakup with Becca into a #MeToo moment.  They handled it so poorly.  Did they steal the idea from UnREAL?
  2. Was it just me, or did they release the men’s bios really late?
  3. My mom got married Sunday, so I didn’t have the time to look at the bios beforehand, but I’ve listened to the Popcast, Here to Make Friends, & Will You Accept This Rose podcasts analyze the guys.  I feel like I have pretty good handle on the situation.  All of these podcasts have fantastic recaps as well, so you should definitely listen – after you read this of course.
  4. Garrett is this season’s Lee from Rachel’s Season…at least he is in real life.  He has deleted his IG account, but checkout this article.  He’s a real gem.  Racist.  Homophobic. Anti-women. I could go on and on.  Thank you to Ashley Spivey, Claire Fallon, & Emma Gray for keeping us informed!

With that said, I’m here for y’all, & I’m here for Becca.  She did nothing wrong last season, except saying “Let’s do the damn thing” twice.  We can now retire that saying.  I love Becca and hope her season is everything Arie’s wasn’t.  I will now never say the A-word again.

Limo One:
Colton: I love confetti.  I love a blonde with brown eyes.  Colton is definitely one to watch.
Grant: He is cute!  Love his dimples.  Grant looks like Matt Damon & Jason Bateman had a love child. Grant's LovechildClay: seems like a gentle giant.
Jean Blanc: He said “let’s do the damn thing” in French, who knew it could be worse?
Conner: He pulled Becca’s move from last season.  Conner looks like Dean & Juan Pablo had a love child. Conner's Lovechild

These guys were nervous.

Limo Two:
Joe: I love Joe!  He looks just like someone I went to school with; Dustin S. is that you???
John: The token Asian, but he is impressive.  I have him to thank for Venmo.
Leo: He has Alex the Russian’s face & Jason Mamoa’s hair.Leo's LovechildJordan: Seems like a Tool McDouche Nugget of the highest order.  You can see his dick through his pants, eww.
Rickey: He’s into grammar & adjectives.  I kind of love that.

Limo Three:
Alex: He’s much cuter in person; he brought a jar for all his roses.  I’m not sure what to make of that.
Nick: He arrived in a race car driver outfit (uniform?), then stripped it off to reveal his suit.  I’m undecided on him.
Mike: He brought the A-word in cut-out form.  Can we burn it?
Garrett: He drove up in a minivan; Garrett looks like Becca’s ex, Ross.  She’s totally loving him.  For all I know about him, he is very smooth & think he is Final Four, if not the One. Becca's Ex

Limo Four:
Blake: He road up on an ox this time? His feelings are “as strong as an ox.”  Is this okay?
Lincoln: Brought cake for his birthday?  I’m not even going to mention the awful story circulating about him right now…
Chase: He said “it’s all about the chase.”  Barf.
Darius: I missed his entrance somehow, but he went home…
Ryan: Is he wearing drapery as a jacket?  I love Ryan!

Limo Five:
Christon: He is tall, dark, & handsome.  He dunked over Becca, which was so cool.
Wills: Claims to be a closeted nerd; is that code for something else?  Is he Lincoln’s twin? TwinsiesJason: Gave Becca a secret handshake.  Jason looks like the husband from the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. JasonKamil: I don’t like the way he speaks to her.  Is he the coke addicted Russian dancer from UnREAL last season?
Jake: They know each other; she was weirded out that he was there & dubious of his intentions.  Jake looks like Andrew Keegan & Ryan Reynolds had a love child. Jake's Lovechild

Limo Six:
Trent: He arrived in a Hearst, yet didn’t say “I’ve been dying to meet you.”
Christian: Becca said he was suave, & the we promptly never heard from him again.
David: He arrived as Big Bird? A chicken?  He really kept up the bird act all night.  I love David!
Chris: Chandler’s roommate is here.  He brought a gospel choir; Uncle Gary would have approved…too bad he turned out to be the Tattler.  Chris

Overall, I’m not too impressed with the men so far.  I think Colton, Garrett, 7 Lincoln on ones to watch based on the previews.

Favorite Tweets from the night: BSE1.1BSE1.2BSE1.3

What did y’all think?  Any stand outs?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelor: It’s Finally Arie’s Season!

Bachelor

Y’all, it’s that time again…Bachelor blogs will be restarting soon!  I know there are some mixed feelings about Arie as the Bachelor, but I have a few reasons why he’ll be great, or at least better than Nick Viall!

  1. He’s easy on the eyes!
  2. He knows how to throw a woman against a wall, in all the right ways.  You know what I mean.
  3. In case you don’t know what I mean, I’m talking makeout sessions against the wall.  Emily was a fan…so was I. arie & emily
  4. I personally love that he is not from the last two seasons.  We’ve had sufficient time to either miss him or forget him.  Perfect recipe for a good season.  It’s also allowed him time to self-reflect & mature, blah, blah, blah & all that.
  5. He’s from the Classic Bachelor era…you know when the dates were fun.  Helicopters, hot tubs, & heartache – oh my!
  6. He’s not an influencer, or trying to be a blogger, Instagram star, etc.  No flat tummy tea for him.
  7. Jef Holm is not a fan.  That’s right, one “f” Jef can’t stand him.  This speaks highly of Arie because Jef turned out to be a real Tool McDouche Nugget.  Google it.
  8. He’s a 6’2″ tall drink of water.  tall
  9. Arie is 35.  You know I love it when they’re older (as in my age)!
  10. Y’all, the best reason to watch is that Ashley Spivey has said she MAY come out of Recapping Retirement to blog this season!!!  You may remember her from Brad Womack’s second season, or as one of the HILARIOUS recappers from Emily’s season.  Ashley Spivey

 

I’ve taken the liberty of giving you all my very first impression of each of Arie’s contestants, before reading their bios.  I’ll post another blog post-bios.  PBFP1PBFP2PBFP3PBFP4PBFP5PBFP6PBFP7PBFP8PBFP9PBFP10

What do you think of my love for Arie?  Am I alone?  To be fair, I adored Nick until he became the Bachelor; hopefully, Arie will not disappoint.  Thoughts on the women?  Lots of weird names, & so many Laurens.  My thoughts on the women post-bio will be up tomorrow!

Kiss Hug,

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