Southern Charm Recap: Wait What?!?!

The season finale picked up right where we left off last week.  The “insulted ones” made their great golf cart escape & headed over to Landon’s for some pizza & to drunkenly recap.  You can’t have unraveled without a Ravenel.  Shep said that he didn’t fight TRav because he hated to pay for dry cleaning…samesies.  Craig & Shep both claimed that Landon was a part of the problem, which she squeakily denied.  Side note: I’m slightly appalled that her voice can reach a Mariah Carey high decibel…it truly defies human nature, gravity, & all that.  Back at TRav’s house Thomas said the funniest thing when he asked Cooper if reptiles had vertebrae.  Do they?  Kathryn clumsily tried to quote Tennessee Williams & spent the night at Thomas’.

The next morning dawned bright & clear, without a care in the world, & then the Charmers woke up…  Landon hit snooze 87 times (the only thing we have in common), Whitney juiced, Shep chose shirts for his dive bars.  Where can I get a t-shirt?  I want to support my boyfriend.  After discussing it with JD, Craig went from full-time employee to part-time with JD’s blessing, to focus on studying for the Bar. #abouttime  Across town, Cameran met with her therapist.  Her homework was to make a Pro/Con List about having a baby; Jason hijacked the assignment & “really opened Cam’s eyes” nice & wide.  As usual, Cam’s issues stem from her childhood – doesn’t everyone’s?  Jason has essentially made Cameran consider children sooner rather than later…maybe.  She still seems scared to me.babies

Sheppy-Poo met with Landon at The Commodore, his newest dive bar endeavor, to basically tell her the he’s just not that into her. #duh  I’m not convinced that Shep should have that beard.  I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.  You guys, I swear Trump & Landon have the same eyes.  Over at Craig & Nomi’s house, she modeled Founder’s Ball options for him.  She looks hot – Craig is a lucky dude.  He then broke the dramatic news that he took a step back from Gentry to focus on the Law.  Craig hemmed & hawed until finally Naomie told him to spit it out, but she ultimately was very supportive.  They are super cute lovesluts!  Her best line of the night was, “I’m wearing a helmet,” to news that T & K would be in attendance at the Ball.

Later that night, Whitney & JD had HH with Thomas to box his ears…aka talk some sense into him.  TRav basically blamed his outburst on the stress of having two kids at 50+ years of age.  Really?  REALLY?  How about you were shitfaced & high as a kite?  They basically told him to fix it.  TRav then quoted Michael Jackson…is that really a legit quotable source?TRAV

Next morning, Kathryn dropped the kiddos off at Thomas’ house – he finally got that play date he was after, or rather Dawn got to have a play date with the munchkins.  We head over to Patricia’s humble abode to find her sleeping with a face transplanting machine hooked up to her while she napped.  In all seriousness, where can I get one?  Shep, Craig, & JD are being groomed at the man-spa & the beard is gone. #hallelujah  A makeup artist arrived at Landon’s to transform her to Patricia’s specifications…too bad it didn’t help her ugly black heart personality.  Kathryn & TRav decided to attend the Founder’s Ball together.  Whitney showed up at his mom’s during mid-transplant; we learned that it was her oxygen rejuvenating therapy – aka making sure her face lift stays in place.

Back at the man-spa, Shep revealed that Thomas “textologized” (text + apologize) to him.  He made a good point when he said that TRav was attacking the girls, so Sheppy felt he had to intervene.  Craig agreed.  Meanwhile at Landon’s, she apparently is still harboring hope that Shep really does love her & this makeover will snag him.  Girl, get a ticket to the clue bus.  Over at TRav’s, Kathryn reminded Thomas that Landon changed the tone of the dinner party, asked Cooper to meet all his rich friends, etc.  Y’all, I think Kathryn smells a gold digger…she would know.  Am I right?  KDen pretty much gave Thomas an ultimatum, to which Thomas agreed as way to placate her.  He’s total scum.  liar.gif

After the commercial break, we get to see the Charmers putting on their final touches & attire for the Founder’s Ball.  Landon heads over to Patricia’s to borrow fur, diamonds, & Dior.  Pat had many a back-handed compliments for Landon.  Did the Purple People Eater swallow her?!?!  Over at Ravenel Manor, Little Red Riding Hood Kathryn glided down the stairs, a la She’s All That, & pre-drank with Thomas to loosen up.  Did they drink Gentry Bourbon?

Finally!  We arrived at the Ball.  Whitney tried to hook Landon up with one of his friends.  I secretly think they would perfect for each other.  Craig & Naomie arrived, & Naomie looked smokin’ HOTT!  Shep brought Landon’s friend, Robyn, as his date (matching no less!), Landon cried, & I silently cheered in my head a little bit.  ughDoes that make me a horrible person?  I think Cameran & Danni were each other’s dates?  Did anyone else notice that Kathryn referred to herself as TRav’s girlfriend in the limo?

Once the Hot Mess Express arrived to the ball things got really interesting.  I now have new-found respect for Jennifer Snowden.  She hit the nail on the head when talking about Thomas’ involvement with Kathryn’s cold shoulder treatment.  I take back everything I said earlier in the season.  Thomas made an obvious beeline straight for Old Squinty Eyes (Landon, obvi.) once KDen parked herself at a table, which was so blatantly obvious & no one missed it.  Kathryn then made the first move by pulling Landon aside to hash out their issues – very mature of her.  OSE ruined the moment by claiming she couldn’t hear Kathryn – it was really loud, so I’ll give her that one.  KDen’s reaction was a bit more dramatic than the situation warranted.  It’s never going to be pleasant when the convo starts with, “This isn’t going to be a mean conversation.”  I don’t think Kathryn can handle Landon’s nails on the chalkboard voice, so her hyperventilating/screeching immediately pissed her off.  Landon ran off to tattle to Thomas that Kathryn was being a big meanie head.  Poor Danni got stuck in the middle, literally.  Nomi & Jenn’s faces when Landon said she was afraid of Kathryn gave me LIFE!  Nomi

As usual, Thomas was absolutely no help to anyone & stood there like a moron.  Shep & Craig had to intervene in the attempt to resurrect the night.  Landon’s voice is too much when she is calm & collected, but when she gets agitated it is unbearable, not to mention at a decibel only dogs can hear.  Wasn’t Landon’s Cheshire cat smile so eerie & creepy?  The finale ended with Shep’s date saying, “Do you think Landon’s going to admit that she slept with Thomas?”  Last line was Shep, after a shocked pause, saying, “What?”  BEST. FINALE. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tweets from the night:  12.112.212.312.412.512.612.712.812.912.10

What did y’all think of the finale?  I thought this whole season knocked it out of the park!

I’ll see you back here for #TheBachelorette Recap on Tuesday & a #RHONY Recap on Wednesday.  BREAKING NEWS: My new DVR did not record The Bachelorette, so I’ll have to figure out OnDemand…

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Southern Charm Recap: the Wrath of TRav

First off I want to apologize for being a bit absent on the blog front last week.  I work a full time job & babysit to earn extra fun money & I never turn down an opportunity to earn extra moo-la.  I was house sitting/dog sitting & there was bad reception.  😦  Therefore, blogging sometimes takes a back seat…unless someone would like to start paying me for this blog?  Bueller?  Bueller?

On to our episode…it was the highly anticipated TRav dinner party from Hell.  Let me tell you, it did not disappoint!

Whitney gave Mama P a new pug puppy – so cute!  Did anyone else recall the scene from Friends, with Phoebe & the pug? phoebe

Thomas confronted JD on the paternity questioning – for once Thomas was 100% right.  JD should be a better friend than that. He should know that a dinner party was not the right time or place, especially considering how much hate Whitney & Patricia have for Kathryn. #notcoolbro  This time Thomas decides he’s going to host the party to celebrate Julien’s birth.  Meanwhile, Landon stops by Bam’s house to get naked wasted.  Bam’s has some good advice for her big sis & some not so good advice.  Good: get a real job & earn a steady paycheck like a normal person.  Bad: get drunk & bang Shep to see if he loves her back.  Shep has a similar convo with Cameran, but she adamantly says that he should not shove her in a closet for heavy petting.  Bam

TRav headed over to Kathryn’s to discuss the party guest list.  Whitney & Ms. Pat are not invited because they have been ugly to Kathryn, She mentally cheers!  But, Landon already has her monogrammed invitation sent by courier pigeons.  Thomas thinks Blandon & KDen should be BFF & need to move past their issues.  Kathryn is maintains that she is not fluent in dolphin, & therefore it is never gonna happen.  KDen refuses to go to the party if Landon is going to be there, which turns Thomas into T-Rex.  He storms out the window, yes the window.  You read that correctly.  This was just so absurd to me.  Kathryn calmly (for her) talked TRav off the ledge (roof? bush?) & back into the room.  What floor were they on?  Kathryn maturely capitulates to TRav’s wishes & says Landon can come.

There was a boring part here…my boyfriend Shep wasn’t on the screen so I played Spite & Malice on my phone.  Oh, but Landon was invited to Patricia’s for her condolences for Shep’s lack of requited love.  Pat then offered Thomas up a backup.  My favortie line that Landon has ever uttered, “Being sexy makes me uncomfortable.”  Side bar: I would watch an entire show of Patricia giving True Southern Debutantes makeovers, starting with Landon.

Shepperoni’s mom is the best!  He was a jerk for making her face the sun during lunch, but I’m going to pretend it was so they both could enjoy the view.  Shep seems to still be baffled, dare I say appalled, by Landon’s confession of love.  I will be so upset if they end up together.  Sheppy – the love of your life resides in Texas. #callme  Shephard’s mom, Mama Fran, gave him solid advice & said to not to rush or force anything.  She’s happy if he’s happy. #aww #kisshug

Now for the good stuff, Thomas’ dinner party.  He gave tours of the house – once again Kensie’s periwinkle room is the least periwinkle ever.  Kathryn basically avoids everyone but Elizabeth.  At this point, wasn’t Julien only a few weeks old?  Why was she smoking?  They all sit down to dinner, but of course Thomas being Thomas, he had to make a speech before dinner could be served.  Y’all the head swivels were like a tennis match & it. was. awesome.  He referred to himself in third person, which Sheppy hilariously pointed out.  Kathryn received praise for birthing his children.  Cameran was called out for being self-righteous, judgmental, & sanctimonious.  Next Craig got scolded for being a phony.  Loved when Craig said, “Let’s not come to me.”  Shep interrupted again, which quickly turned the roast speech to him.  Thomas calls him out for sleeping with all of Charleston when he could have Landon anytime he wanted.  Landon giggled like a dolphin, so then TRav called her vindictive towards Kathryn.  He wasn’t wrong on that one.  Shep jumps back into the fray accusing Thomas of stirring it up between Landon & Kathryn.  He wasn’t wrong on that one either.  I believe Thomas called Shep a pussy, to which he replied “You are what you eat, right?”  So gross, but so funny.  My favorite part was when Cooper, arguably the smallest man there, kept trying to restore a modicum of decency & civility.  You can’t tame the beast.

My only question remaining is did the entire party get roasted, or only the Charmers?

Favorite tweets from the night:  SC - Week 11.1SC - Week 11.2SC - Week 11.3SC - Week 11.4SC - Week 11.5

I’ll be live tweeting RHONY in just a few short hours & the blog will be up in the morning.

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Southern Charm Recap: #OldCraig is Back?

Y’all, to be honest I was flipping back & forth between Southern Charm & The Bachelorette.  Watched the first hour of JoJo, then flipped over to SC, & then back to Crazy Chad.  I knew Kathryn’s baby wouldn’t come until the end & that the rest of the episode would be fairly lame tame.

A few things stood out to me:

  1. Craig’s work ethic seems to be taking a longer vacation than his trip to LA.
  2. Cameran totally set Landon up to fail regarding confessing her love for Shep, which will make amazing TV.
  3. Whitney & Larissa still have no chemistry.
  4. JD’s laugh is still creepy.
  5. RIP to Shep’s grandpa.  I bet the stars looked a little different that day.
  6. I worry about the Charmers always mixing their alcohol.  “Liquor before beer in the clear.  Beer before liquor never been sicker.”  DUH.

Here are my favorite Tweets of the night:  SC- Week 9.1SC - Week 9.2SC - Week 9.3

I promise to do better next week!

I’ll have #TheBachelorette recap/tweets up tomorrow.  Warning: It will be similar to this recap as there are still so many guys & I keep asking who Derek is.

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Southern Charm Recap: Landon Lied & Whitney Cried

As per ushe, we began with everyone’s morning rituals.  Did anyone else notice TRav’s neon polka dot glasses, or Cameran cringing while cooking put chicken in the crock-pot?  Whit ate some egg whites (I’m guessing it was two whites with one yolk), Kathryn tickled Kensie, & Shep & Craig met for a bro-brunch.  Shep ordered a pina coloda to chase away his bourbon fog?  Craigy-Poo & Sheppy-Poo rehashed the Gentry Bourbon tasting; Shep basically told Craig that he wasn’t ready for that much responsibility & should be studying for the Bar Exam…he’s not wrong.  Shep invited Craig & Naomie to his mountain home in Linville, NC.  Craig asked if it was to cheer him up…seriously?  I don’t think Shep is quite that interested in his life.  Shep clearly struggled with being Mr. Inclusive & inviting Kathryn to the cabin, but he took his favorite high road & lucky for his guilty conscience the group she was on bed rest & couldn’t go.  Saved by doctor’s orders!  If it were me, I would have invited everyone regardless of what Whitney & Cam wanted.  As my dad used to say, “They can get glad in the same britches they got mad in.”  This week Craig was Kissinger of the group.  Over across the Ravenel Bridge, Thomas arrived at KDen’s place to put the new baby’s crib together.  They actually had a civil, sweet moment as he put it together.  She actually said that he should go to the mountains, aww kiss hug.  Look at them adulting…so cute.  However, Thomas ruined the moment in his confessional calling himself TRav & Kathryn T-Rex.  Ugh, with this man-child!

Next up Cameran had a counseling session to discuss her mothering fears.  Okay, so I think every woman in their early 30’s has had the internal “should I or should I not” battle.  If you make it to 30 without having a child, you are really set in your ways, know what you want out of life (for the most part), & more readily realize what you’d be “giving up” for motherhood…maybe that’s just me?  On the one hand, kids are sweet & innocent (especially when they snuggle), but on the other hand they are so gross (when they’re eating & pooping).  Cam is worried that she is either not maternal or her lack of her maternal instinct is based in fear.  She basically doesn’t want to give up control (a result from her parents’ divorce), but her husband’s clock is ticking.

On the phone with his mom, Shep checked in on the “condition” of the mountain home.  It needs to be enough to impress Whitney.  Meanwhile, Landon stopped by her sister Bam’s house & went straight for the wine.  Seriously, WTF are these names about?  Bam looks nothing like Landon, but never the less, she asked about Landon’s trip to NYC to which she replied that it went well.  Really???  Was she at the same meeting I watched, while peeking around the pillow over my face from embarrassment for her?  Like, she totally failed that interview, right?  Is it my imagination, or is Landon’s online travel magazine awfully similar to Conde NastTown&Country?  Switching topics, Landon asked Bam if she had met Craig’s girlfriend; then compared Naomie to Kathryn basically slut shaming KDen by saying she’s only good at one thing.  Shame, shame, I know your name Landon.  Pot meet kettle.  Side note:  I think Landon would be a perfect contestant on The Bachelor.

Over at Kathryn’s, Craig stopped by to chat/do some investigative questioning.  Did anyone notice that Craig drank out of a WWHL Mazel glass?  Big Boss Andy should be thrilled.  So, did Craig stop by just to stir the pot by telling KDen that Whitney refused to go to the country if Kathryn came?  Was that really necessary?  However, it lead us to the truth; therefore, I am greatful for #newCraig’s meddling ways!  Way to be that almost lawyer!  So here’s the low-down: Kathryn had a one night stand with Thomas first.  A week later she hooked up with Whitney & essentially moved into Patricia’s for another week or so.  Ms. Pat, Whit, & house guest Robert loved, & approved, of Kathryn’s Calhoun lineage.  Are we in a Jane Austen novel?  I guess I’m not a TSD…  So, during this week long affair Whitney developed strong feelings for our favorite redhead.  Cue to a pool party, where she went as Whitney’s date, but left with TRav.  Kathryn intentionally went to that party with Thomas’ BFF to get revenge…worked like a charm.  Whitney tossed her to the curb quicker than a Texas tornado.  He also made it clear that he didn’t want anyone to know about their affair, so Kathryn has kept mum all this time about the specifics, which effectively made her the pariah of the group.  KDen confessed to Craig that what she did was screwed up, but I think if she was following Whitney’s lead then she did no more damage than he did.  He is clearly just butt hurt over the situation…still.  If Whitney didn’t want to deal with her on some level, then I would think as Executive Producer of the show, she would be gone.  He’s now using her, equally as much, for a paycheck.  Although, I do feel his distaste for Kathryn is somewhat more justified now…egos & all that.  #newCraigcalledit

On a side note, I have a theory about Thomas & Kathryn.  When all of this started Kathryn was a wee young babe of 21.  Thomas being a 50-something year old politician swindled charmed young Kathryn.  Once she realized what happened, a) it was too late as she was already pregnant; b) she reacted as someone her age would react.  Not that Thomas has come off looking like an angel, but he has taken far less damage to his standing in the group & his reputation as a whole & has actively campaigned to make Kathryn look crazy, when really she just acted her age.  Whitney’s ego took a bruising because Kathryn chose his friend; his feelings are justified but his treatment, of KDen, 3 years later…not so much.  We were all horrible in our early 20’s.  Some of this group, ahem Whitney & Thomas, are still horrible well into their 40’s & 50’s.  #TeamKathryn

Next we see the Charmer’s packing rituals…surprisingly minimalistic.  “In true Shep fashion” they headed to the mountains on a party bus.  Craig & Naomie were the only ones to over pack “for a trip to Siberia.”  On the bus, they immediately started drinking, as expected.  #fratboylifestyle  Landon is excited JD is coming, “because he’s wild,” completely ignoring the fact that Craig is uncomfortable.  Talk turns to Shep’s relationship with Bailey; as much as I love Sheppy & dislike Bailey, this conversation makes my heart smile because Landon is SO green with envy.  As a viewer, I love to watch her squirm when being confronted with Shep’s love life.  Craig then makes the mistake of confusing Asheville, NC with Nashville, TN.  Y’all give him a break – he’s new, he doesn’t know what to do.  He is a Yankee after all…  Loved Shep’s confessional snark. #runningabourbonbusiness  At the hotel, I think Whitney called ahead & stole Shep’s room with a mountain view…typical Whit.  Thomas met up with the group & they all hit the booming metropolis of Asheville.  TRav promptly disgusted us all by hitting on two children young girls.  Thomas & Whitney drunkenly discussed their hatred for Bluegrass…us too guys, us too.  Who knew Jenga could be a euphemism for sex?  My delicate sensibilities may never recover.  JD & Elizabeth joined the group…why does JD slap so many asses?  The group asked Thomas to order something in French…y’all, after 3 years of Spanish, I speak better French than Thomas.  Shep’s friend John told Cameran that he didn’t think Shep could settle down.  Landon forcefully laughed the loudest, which caught Cam’s attention because as everyone can see, Landon hearts Shep.

Craig asked TRav why he wasn’t staying the entire weekend, within Whitney’s hearing range, which mildly set both guys off.  Craig nailed it when he said Whit is “completely irrational when it comes to Kathryn.”  Thomas was actually trying to be a decent adult, by not staying the night since he knew it would upset KDen.  Cue rolling eyes from Whitney, Landon, & Cameran.  The guys & Landon moved on to another bar to see a cool band.  TRav danced with a woman who promptly dumped him for Shep.  Thomas slapped her on the ass, she threatened to cut him with a knife, & something else happened relating to vampires (I couldn’t quite catch what they were saying).  I can now say I’ve watched Twilight.  The next morning, before Thomas left, he told Shep that Landon admitted to excluding Kathryn from his birthday party.  TRav is no longer interested in Landon (for now)…there goes that money train.  In the clear light of day, Cameran & Whitney decided to rent a car.  According to Cam, they realized just how skinny those mountain roads are.

Y’all, Linville only has one stop light – I think that’s what we call a one horse town in Texas.  Shep shared some really sweet memories from growing in the country.  He totally downplayed the magnificence of this “cabin”…mountain chateau might be more accurate.  Best quote of the night came from Craig, “I’m so glad you’re not poor.”  I died!  Even Whitney was impressed.  Landon & Danni promptly headed out to the porch for a nap.  JD pulled Craig aside for a little chat about Gentry.  JD basically said that Craig needs some more apprenticeship, & that they really need Danni on board to move Gentry to the forefront of bourbon.  Back in Charleston, JSnow swung by Kathryn’s to catch up on all the gossip.  Jennifer basically stirred up a bunch of shit…quietly.  She is surprised by every nice thing Thomas does for KDen & voices those opinions, putting doubts in Kathryn’s head.  #yeahthatsnice

Back in the Appalachians, who knew Craig was such a cook?  Why the hell is Landon walking around in an over sized sweat shirt & nothing else? #desperate  Shep quietly confronted Landon about invite-gate.  She was proven to be a liar.  At dinner, they ate, drank, & Craig confronted the Kathryn situation.  As usual, everyone accused Kathryn of manipulating Thomas with the children, then Craig dropped a bomb on the group & called Whitney out for being butt hurt. #amazing  Naomie was less than impressed.

My favorite Tweets from the night: SC - Week 7.1SC - Week 7.2

What did y’all think of tonight’s episode?  We seemed to take along time to get to the good stuff this week!

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Southern Charm Recap: Promise Ring Dream Crusher

This episode was clearly tossed in the mix to provide a little relief from all the drama.  Although it was dull, I shall recap for y’all anyway because I’m a giver.

As per ushe, the show begins with the Charmers starting their day.  Shep awakens around 1p, Whitney is attempting to put together an IKEA table, Thomas is adding to his lamp graveyard, Cameran is kicking yoga’s ass, & Craig’s alarm is going off.  Craig reaches over to wake Naomie; y’all, he clearly doesn’t live by the mantra “True love means letting her sleep.”  What is with their house?  Have they moved?  Are they still packing?  I can’t with the mess & chaos.  Craig slips Naomie’s promise ring into his watch jewelry box for her to find.  She immediately spots it & cries; on a side note, Craig has seen (& wants to be in) every romantic comedy…maybe he’d make it on the Hallmark Channel?  He proceeded to boast that JD will soon name him Head of the Bourbon Division of Gentry…Craig, Craig, Craig…so delusional.  “You are crushing life right now,” says Naomie (I say on opposite day).

Cameran arrives at a house evaluation/showing that Shep is also supposed to be at.  He’s at home making breakfast, horribly cracking eggs into a bowl with the barcode still on it.  Does anyone on this show use the stuff in their kitchens?  He just needs my domestic touch. 😉  On the phone, Cam screeches incoherently at him to get his booty in gear, but Shep is “schloshed,” according to Cam.  Shep to the viewers, “I’m always a little hungover.”  When he arrived at the mansion, Shepperoni questioned Cameran on her convo with Kathryn.  They both want to stay out of it, but Cam doesn’t mind being harsh whereas my dreamboat wants to be inclusive.

Cue to Kathryn attempting to pull Kensie out of a tantrum, good luck Mama!  The nanny’s head shake at the sink was awesome.  KDen reconsiders those she has cut out of her life, & sought to reconcile with Elizabeth.  Kathryn admitted that she distanced herself from Elizabeth because JD is TRav’s BFF; Kathryn got a lot of heat for this on Twitter, but I would have done the same thing in her situation.  It wasn’t personal, it was for the sanity of her family.  Anyways, Lizzy-Lou was thrilled to hear from KDen.

Back on the real estate trail, Cam is schooling Shep by explaining that people paint their porch ceiling light blue, aka the color of Heaven to “keep the evil spirits away.”  As someone who had a short career in Interior Design, I call BS – I paint the ceiling blue to keep bugs & birds from building nests.  It tricks the critters into thinking it is the sky.  Inside the beautiful home, Cameran introduces Shep to pocket doors.  I LOVE pockets doors!  For real.  For real.  I was, however, educated on what a Charleston Window is…great concept.  Are those still made?  I want them.  Shep questioned Cam’s pricing technique in front of the client – not cool buddy.  She handled him with tact.

Over at Landon’s McMansion, she is packing for her trip to NYC while on the phone with her Dad.  She is planning to meet with Lockhart (such interesting names on this show) to pitch her online magazine.  Landon is impressed with herself…too bad she’s the only one.  Her dad tells her not to use this as an excuse to buy new clothes while in the Big Apple.  Little does he know that that was probably the only good thing she did while she was there.  Meanwhile, over at Gentry Craig & JD meet to discuss the Hotel renovation & a Bourbon Tasting.  JD basically wants Craig to send out an evite for the Tasting, & bring on Danni as a consultant as she is booze royalty (I knew I liked her).  JD maniacally laughs while telling Craig “not to reinvent the wheel, just add air to the tires.”  #thatlaughtho   JD seems to forget that Craig has bought into this company & deserves more than being his gopher.

Kathryn stops by Elizabeth’s for a chat.  How do those boys stay so clean?  Liz points out, to her son Levi, that Kathryn has a baby in her belly.  He promptly asks how it got there, haha!  Kathryn oddly got shy once the boys went inside; perhaps shy isn’t the right word – she was contrite.  Elizabeth asked why she was shunned by KDen.  Kathryn admitted that she went through a phase of pushing people away because it was easier & safer for her at the time.  I get that…especially with this crew.  Lizzy-Lou reminds her that she will never turn her back on Kathryn or Kensie.  I believe her.  Elizabeth is such a class act.  They cry & hug it out.  This scene was heart-felt, heart-warming, & probably the most genuine thing we’ve seen thus far this season.

Shep popped over to check out Thomas’ new house.  Yolanda’s Fridge is cringing at TRav’s basic GE.  Love that Thomas insists on using coasters for their beers in his formal parlor.  Thomas spouts some nonsense to Shep about caring for Kathryn & oxygen not getting to the baby if she gets riled up.  The look on Sheppy-Poo’s face is hysterical.  However, Shep is trying to be Kissinger, & mediate among the group even though he thinks TRav is being a little melodramatic.  Nice Kissinger reference, Sheppy.   They wonder if there will ever be peace between Thomas & Kathryn, much like the Middle East.  In New York, Landon arrived to meet with Lockhart.  He could not be less interested in this pitch.  Landon basically wants to create a lovechild of People Magazine & Twitter, but as an online magazine with a subscription.  Lockhart quickly gives it a hard pass & dismisses Landon as a legit business person.

Cameran, Whitney, & Shep met for Bloody Mary’s.  Who knew Shepperoni didn’t do Bloody’s – we have that in common, it’s fate y’all.  Apparently, Craig is worried they won’t show to the Tasting.  They all question what he’s doing…is he a whiskey maker?  A hotelier?  An almost lawyer?  I would make a fantastic hotelier, & bourbon taster for that matter.  Also, Shep wants to plan an Appalachian (never heard it pronounced that way) weekend in Linville, North Carolina.  My friend Paige insisted that Appa-Lach-in is the proper way to pronounce & I am saying it wrong.  I would like everyone to come to Texas & say for me Bexar County, Waxahachie, Mexia, Nacogdoches, Kuykendahl Rd, Manchaca Rd. & tell me how they think it should be pronounced.  Just sayin…  Cam & Whitney promptly shoot down the idea of hiking.  They also balk at the idea of having to drive 4 1/2 hours to get there.  I’ll go – hand raised!  Cameran & Whitney insist on Kathryn not being invited (not sure if this was only a stipulation if Thomas was going); Shep reminds them that he is sympathetic towards KDen.  Do they like anyone or anything at this point?

It’s Tasting time & Craig had lots of questions regarding the barrels.  He is like a kid in a candy store, or a frat guy at the bar.  What the hell is JD wearing on his head?  Is that a cowboy hat?  A safari hat?  A fedora?  All three?  Craig questions JD about the amount of stock they have, why that was his first time to see it, were there purchase orders, etc.  All valid questions for a co-owner.  The Charmers slowly arrived.  #NewCraig wants to be a bourbon distiller, not a hotelier & proceeded to make that known.  Cameran compares bourbon tasting to “rating a chick.”  Is this Hot or Not?  Craig corners Danni to pick her brain about the booze industry.  JD puts Danni in charge of Craig’s table, which makes everyone super uncomfortable.

As the night wears on, Craig becomes more & more agitated by his treatment from JD.  Whitney clearly does not like bourbon as he compared it to the smell of napalm.  Is he allowed to say that?  Yikes.  Okay, so Craig is somewhat justified being annoyed with JD.  However, he doesn’t even know the difference between whiskey & bourbon.  How in the world he thought he could run the division in just 6 episodes is nuts.  Naomie doesn’t seem to be thrilled that Craig is turning to Danni for advice.  Danni’s advice is spot on, as she points out that it is not about just “knowing the bartender.”  After sensing frustration, Shep pulled Craig aside to give him some brotherly props & advice to “shoe-horning his way into the business.”  You have to bring something to the table to get rewarded with more responsibility.  Aww, Craig thought he was apart of the team, but feels like he doesn’t even have an assigned seat.  Sad face.  JD approached Danni to be the VP of Gentry Bourbon, seemingly behind Craig’s back, but in plain sight.  Danni was clearly uncomfortable & not that interested.

Over at the other table, Shep & Naomie disect his birthday debacle & Landon’s thought process.  Verdict – they think she’s a loveable ding-bat.  JD pulled Craig aside to explain to him that he needs to slow his roll.  Craig pointed out that he planned the Tasting, which in the real world would not qualify him for running the division, but maybe running the PR.  As ushe, Craig put the cart before the horse.  Naomie questions Craig’s bruised ego.  Basically, he is not crushing at life right now.  She cried as she realized her promise ring dreams got crushed.  Does Craig have pink eye?  One eye is totally bloodshot.

My favorite Tweets from the night are below: SC - Week 6.1SC - Week 6.2

What did y’all think about the previews for the rest of the season?  Sheptastic or Landumb?

Check back on Wednesday/Thursday morning for my RHONY recap, & again on Saturday for my Take It or Leave It of the week.

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Peasant Salt is a No-No

Tonight’s episode started with everyone doing their AM routine the morning after Craig’s party.  Cameran has decided to be a TSD & host her first dinner party. #DomesticationDryRun  Cam let us know that she is still not ready for kids, sorry Jason, & wants to work.  So get off her Southern back people!

Why does Kathryn have such hatred for periwinkle?  This perplexes me so much.  Kathryn has allowed Thomas to see Kensie, in which he revealed that she allows him to see her only 6 days a month.  I personally think this is not at all detrimental to the baby.  He has her for 6 days, yet has a nanny?  I find it so odd that Kathryn is such good friends with Jennifer, who seems to flit from one politician to another. #GirlPreach

Next up, Shep arrives at Landon’s house…she has upgraded to a house, y’all!  Apparently her pop-up shop was very successful.  Landon says that she is going back to her old life, what marrying a super rich dude???  She obviously got a large divorce settlement, otherwise I don’t think she could afford her life of artsy luxury.  Charleston is expensive, y’all.  Sheppy & Landon created their own “Merlot to Masterpieces” & painted over wine.  Shep called it when he said they were allergic to work. #Netflix&Chill

Craig is getting his life back on track.  He’s planning to study & take the Bar; he’s also buying into JD’s company Gentry.  Love that name!  He made a partial buy-in to the company & will give a little “sweat equity” for the rest.  We also learned that JD loves money & they are going to get weird with it.  What does that even mean?

I’m loving that Ms. Patricia & Cameran discussed how cute a hedgehog’s penis is…wowser!  PS – did anyone notice that Patricia stole a page out of Sonja’s intern playbook?  Ms. Pat got straight to the point – dinner party.  The look on Ms. Pat’s face when Cam suggested a crock pot was amazing!  She gifted Cameran with the use of her Butler for the night.

Shep is working really hard to dethrone himself from dreamboat status.  He invited Landon to the bar with him & Craig; however, he also invited two of her friends that are also friends.  Super awkward.  It was a Shep sandwich between Bailey & Robin.  “When it comes to girls, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”  Eww, yuck.  Did he really order beef jerky?

Cameran met with Suzanne, a modern-day Mary Poppins, to help with her dinner party.  Cameran, being from Anderson, SC, is having her eyes opened so wide they are about to bug out.  Suzanne schooled Cam on her salt choices; apparently iodized salt is not acceptable.  I loved this segment.  I suggest for anyone who is domestically challenged to buy Junior League cookbooks off Amazon.  They are amazing & come from cities all over the country.  They make great gifts as well…for a friend’s wedding I gave her a JL cookbook for every significant city in their relationship.  It was one of her favorite gifts! Love you Mucci!

Ms. Patricia, Whitney, & Thomas dined together at a French restaurant.  I must say that I am impressed with Whitney’s uppity vocabulary, but not so much with Thomas’ French.  Whitney nailed it with his Pepe Le Pew reference.  I speak better French, & all I know is Oy with the poodles already!  Thomas proceeded to complain about Kathryn, as he thinks Kathryn is using the children to manipulate him (& that all women do that).  I personally think TRav is too much of a liability for Kathryn to allow him any significant time with the kiddos.

Kathryn went house hunting with Jennifer.  She has decided to make it on her own. #Getitgirl!!!  Jennifer, being the pot stirrer that she is, brought up Patricia’s Flamingo party, to which Kathryn was not invited.  Jennifer’s response was “Oopsie!”  Kathryn would like to know what she’s done to be shunned by Charleston Society.  If I had to guess, I’d say that you chose TRav over Whitney.  Big mistake, HUGE.  I’m sure Cooper Ray could find out from Mama P for Mama K.

Suzanne showed up a Cam’s house.  She was baffled that Cameran has been married for two years & her pots & pans are still in their boxes.  Did anyone notice that Cam couldn’t figure out the pepper grinder?  Haha! Suzanne should’ve made our favorite domestically challenged friend a to-do list.  Cam mistook Patricia’s martini bag for an animal.  You brought a baby, to a bar?

Kathryn stopped by Craig & Naomie’s house as they were getting ready for Cameran’s party.  I love that Kathryn wants to be independent!  It was totally unnecessary for Craig to tell Kathryn about Cameran’s dinner party.  Kathryn doesn’t think it’s fair that she is still associated with Thomas.  Could it be that she’s pregnant with his child?!?

Meanwhile back at Cameran’s house, Michael & Patricia seem to be rescuing the dinner party before it’s even started.  I think Danni should get more air time.  Why is she not a bigger part of the show?  Surprisingly, Shep doesn’t have many of his women cook for him.  He probably doesn’t stay long enough for the sheets to get cold, so meals are out…just sayin’.  This buffet is a mess; Cam took meat off Danni’s plate to give to Ms. Pat.

Conversation around the dinner table quickly turned to Craig & Naomie getting engaged.  Craig passed the buck to Whitney & his imaginary girlfriend.  Ms. Pat schooled everyone on the demise of Western Civilization.  Send a guy a wine glass emoji & he’ll come over for a good time & be gone by morning…lookin’ at you Sheperd.  As usual, Thomas & Kathryn were brought up by Craig, the Kathryn Krusader.  Everyone finds them awkward to be around because their relationship is so volatile.  They all think Kathryn is beautiful, but immature.  Patricia revealed that only pretty people are invited to the Flamingo Party – on that premise alone, Kathryn should be invited.

Y’all, I have to confess that my friend Joy & I were Tweeting each other about tonight’s show & Patricia liked it!  We feel that is a personal invitation to Charleston.  AmIright?

My favorite Tweets of the night: SC - Week 2

What did y’all think of tonight’s episode?  Where was Cooper Ray?  Did you watch the new Real Housewives of Dallas?  Until Wednesday…

Kiss Hug,

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