VPR Recap: Hot Man Boobs

Once again, I thought this episode was a bit dull overall…yet, I still religiously watch.  Not sure what I’ll do next week when the Bachelor starts back up because I will be recapping that as well.  However, I have a few thoughts on last night’s show.

First things first, two words: Tea Towels.  The tea towel wedding invitation is so bizarre to me.  I don’t know about you, but once I add the wedding details to my calendar the invite goes straight into the recycle bin.  These towels would be a total nuisance to me as I would feel guilty trashing it, but I don’t want to keep it either.  This keepsake invite theory was convoluted at best.  Also, why does Katie’s grandma know anything about Lala & her Range Rover?  Why do her mom & grandma care?

Stassi & Kristen arrive to help fold the towels.  Talk quickly turns to Scheana’s perceived betrayal… Stassi says that if Scheana bails on her birthday in Montauk, then that is not good bridesmaid behavior & must be excluded from the bridal party.  This would make most people happy, but would devastate Scheana.  Since when does Stassi get to decide who the bridesmaids are?  Is she getting married?  Oh, that’s right, Stassi & Patrick are once again on the outs for the 14th billion time.

Jax apparently has man-boobs from his Roid Rage days & has to have a mastectomy (???).  I think Jax is single-handedly responsible for the nice lifestyle I’m sure his plastic surgeon lives.  Luckily, Brittany is there to go about her normal routine of waiting on him hand & foot.   The Toms show up bearing gifts – a Hooters shirt & sports bra.  Most days I can’t stand Jax Taylor, but I do love the bromance with the Toms – at least when he’s not sleeping with one of their girlfriends.  bromance.gif

Side note: I really do not understand Jax’s hatred for Lala.  If anything, he did her wrong by calling her a liar when she was telling the truth last season.  I don’t think Jax is so loyal that he’d be offended over the way she treats Katie.  Just sayin’…

Back to Katie… She delivers LVP’s new Porsche to her.  Lisa can’t seem to help herself & tells Katie that Stassi is a bad influence on her, which is true.  Katie had the gall to tell LVP that she has offended her.  Some people can’t handle the truth…katie.gif

Meanwhile at Stassi’s un-air conditioned apratment, her mom & brother show up to complain about the heat.  Nikolai gave Stassi great advice, “You are not the boss of everyone, so butt out.” Nailed it.

James Kennedy has predictably gotten nowhere in the 5 seconds its been since he got fired, so he pleads with Lisa for his job back.  Of course his delivery was all wrong; he actually criticized Lisa for still employing Jax.  Now, we’ve all thought this as well, but Lisa loves Jax.  LVP basically tells James to GTFO & to think about a new career path.

The episode ends with all of Ariana’s birthday party crew at the airport waiting for Lala.  Shockingly, Schwartz was allowed to go to Sonoma instead of Montauk.

Favorite Tweets of the night: s5e8-1s5e8-2

What did you think of the episode?

See y’all back here next week!

Kiss Hug,

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VPR Recap: A Very Special Episode of Vanderpump Rules…

This episode had a lot going on, yet not so much… I have a few thoughts about it, of course.

Once again we are still talking about the GD Range Rover.  I love how Sandoval tried to rationalize the different ways Lala could have gotten the SUV. Range Rover.gif

I really struggle with Stassi.  I adore her on her podcast, Straight Up with Stassi.  But, she is kind of a brat & a half on VPR.  There was clearly a Bravo cross-over attempt with the lunch at SUR between Stassi & the twins…new show – Summer House – looks lame.  How rude were the girls (Stassi included) when Scheana asked them to repeat Montauk.  I honestly thought it seemed like Scheana misunderstood them, not that she didn’t know what Montauk was.

Tonight was our first glimpse into possible cracks in the foundation of Ariana & Tom’s relationship.  Please don’t let the only normal relationship go awry!!!  Ariana has decided to create a cocktail book, & Tom tried to steal her thunder.  She was justified in getting annoyed with him, but took it a wee bit far in emasculating him at lunch with Lala.  fight

Okay, so on to possibly the most important thing Bravo has ever aired.  I truly believe that everyone’s reactions to the Orlando tragedy was genuine, some maybe a little more convoluted than others.  What happened was horrible, & I cried again watching VPR learn about the events of that horrific night.  Senseless acts of violence inherently go against everything I stand for.

However, most of the staff decided it was unsafe for them to go into work the day of Gay Pride, & the morning after the Orlando shooting.  This annoyed me to no end.  Orlando was not an excuse to forgo your responsibilities.  They seem to forget that since none of them are LGBTQ, they were not the target.  Their “living in fear” seems a bit contrived.  Do I think they were genuinely upset, saddened, & had all the feels – yes.  I do not begrudge them that, but get your ass to work & support your LGBTQ community.  Lisa reminded us all what a bad ass she is by leading the Parade & supporting the community that supports her.  I was pleasantly surprised when Brittany made Jax go into work – good for her.

Favorite Tweets from the night: s5e6-1s5e6-2s5e6-3s5e6-4

What did y’all think of the episode?

Check back later this week for another Christmas Playlist.  I also post my Christmas Decor Yea’s & Nay’s…I promise!

Kiss Hug,

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VPR Recap: Un-Muzzled B’s

I’m tempted not to write a recap this week because I am so annoyed at everyone but Tom 1 & Ariana.  Why are they building an episode around Lala’s affair, or lack there of, for the fifth week in a row???  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…who cares who Lala sleeps with?  It doesn’t affect them what so ever.  I think James is far more the SUR hoe than Lala.

Best Line of the night: “Those un-muzzles bitches.” – Lala referring to KKS.

PS – Scheana & Kristen can NEVER judge anyone else for being the other woman.

Okay, i’m still annoyed, so this will be a Tweet-Cap.  s5e5-1s5e5-2s5e5-3

What did you think of this episode?  The previews looked so good.

I’ll be posting another Christmas playlist later this week, so be sure to check back!

Kiss Hug,

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VPR Recap: Ding Dong, White Kanye Is Gone!

The episode opens with Ariana telling us that her brother has moved in with her & Tom, & it has severely hindered their sex life.  How does Ariana EVER want to have sex with Tom & that hair?  Side note: her brother looks just like her, but with a beard & a man bun.  Lala joins them, & she informs us that James has found a girl stupid enough to actually date him & that she’s a pageant girl.  Oddly enough, said girlfriend looks like the lovechild of Lala & Christina (one of the B-list SURvers).   Lala & those hoop earrings…does Utah have a Bronx? lala

Kristen, Katie, & Stassi (KKS from here on out) meet for lunch to discuss many things.  1) She is getting veneers & I’m jealous of that.  2) They bitch about Scheana casually talking to Lala while at work. 3) Stassi got a marble trashcan that is too heavy to empty.  Why do they make something so dumb?

Meanwhile at SUR, Lala attempted to do her job by talking to Scheana & Brittany about the upcoming night.  Scheana then basically tells Lala that Katie won’t let her talk to her.  Scheana texted KKS about Lala, & they applauded her lack of professionalism.  If a “friend” ever told me who I could & could not talk to, it wouldn’t be an issue because said “friend” would cease to exist to me.

Schwartz headed to therapy to pursue a resolution for his skittishness.  His concerns are not unfounded.  The therapist gave him homework…as in he has to tell Katie that he went to therapy.  When asked if he was sure that he wanted to get married, he said yeah, but couldn’t hold eye contact with Dr. Brandy.  Tom goes home to find Katie adult coloring…  Tom actually completed his homework.  I will say that he did not eloquently voice his fears; however, Katie got extremely defensive & closed herself off from any conversation.  Katie immediately got mad, & ate her feelings.  eating feelings.gif

Back at SUR, Jax opened his fat mouth & created drama where there wasn’t any.  He told LVP about Lala & Scheana’s non-conversation.  Jax made perfect sense for once.  “Kristen, Katie, & Stassi share one brain, & if you don’t think the same way as them then you can’t be friends.”  They pray on Scheana because she needs their acceptance.

How funny was it when Brittany’s dress kept unbuttoning during her confessional?  Her dress either hates James Kennedy or Jax.

Kristen’s teeth look nice, & she has the best dentist EVER.  He insisted on a champagne diet.  Sign me up.  Scheana arrived with another bottle of champs.  KKS immediately harassed Scheana for even having a conversation with Lala, to tell Lala that they will no longer be having conversations.  Honestly, they work together – they should be able to have a civil, professional shift with Lala.  These girls should not work in a restaurant.  There is always soooo much drama there.  In a real professional setting it is easier to avoid drama.

At SUR, a nobody (Gigi???) claims to have hooked up with James – of course she tells Jax.  First, don’t ever admit to sleeping with James Kennedy.  Second, don’t tell Jax – you clearly wanted your 15 minutes.  This of course gets back to James, which sends him spiraling…SUR staff is the worst at playing telephone.  I was so embarrassed for the way he spoke to Lisa & she just took it!

Side note: it annoys the shit out of me that Jax, Kristen, et al are so bothered by how Lala obtained her Range Rover.  Who cares if her boyfriend got it for her?  Let’s not pretend that Jax & crew haven’t done worse things for less.

Tom Schwartz-i-poo visited his bestie Tom 1 at SUR.  Schwartz decided to ask Ariana to be a groomsman, which I love, but it feels a bit like an eff you to Katie.  Katie kinda deserves it.  As Sandoval said, fair is fair, so Ariana got an ass steak as well.  I loved this scene – it made my heart smile.  groomsman

My favorite line of the entire episode was when Ken said, “I’ll knock your spark out.”  I laughed so hard.  Poor Tom 1 got scolded by Lisa for not telling James to chill…umm, he did right before they took shots of whiskey.  Finally, FINALLY James Kennedy officially got fired.  Only took as long as it did to fire Kristen.  Hopefully he doesn’t try to cling to fame as Kristen has managed to do.

Favorite Tweets from the night: s5e4-1s5e4-2s5e4-3s5e4-4

What did y’all think of this week?  Aren’t you so glad that the White Kanye West is finally gone?

Check back later this week for the 4th Christmas Playlist of the season.

Kiss Hug,

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