Harvey: Houston Strong

Hi All,

I do promise to get back to recapping our favorite shows, Bachelor in Paradise, Real Housewives, etc.  But, I want to take a moment to talk to you about Hurricane Harvey & the Houston Flood.  This is my personal account of my first hurricane & the last six days…that’s right, six (6) days!  This is truly analogy of my reality.

Let’s start at the beginning…

Thursday, August 24th:  Houston expected some rain with possible flooding.
Hurricane Harvey is expected to hit between Brownsville, TX & Corpus Christi, TX.

I had no idea what I needed to do to prep for a hurricane, but my fellow coworkers quickly educated me.  I was told to go buy as much water as I can, food that doesn’t need to be kept cold & food that I wouldn’t have to cook, & to fill my bath tub with water (I thought this one was so strange).  By Thursday evening, most water was sold out from grocery stores, but I managed to get six 32 ounce bottles from Walgreens, which I will be donating to a local shelter.  I was told the purpose of filling up your bathtub is for when the power goes out, you can use that water to boil & to fill your toilet tank so you can flush it.  Color me shocked!  I also learned to charge all electronics & keep them plugged in as much as possible – makes sense.  I’ve never been so happy that I spent $40 on my 10 foot charging cord.

Thursday evening I discovered that my water heater had been spewing water all over my garage for part of the day, so that was fun.  I had to call my landlord out to turn it off as I couldn’t figure it out.  Let’s just be clear here, not a huge problem by any means, but I had no water at the start of a potential natural disaster.

Friday, August 25th:  Light rain falling in Houston
Hurricane Harvey is expected to hit Corpus Christi, TX, which is 200 miles from Houston.

I went into work as usual.  I arrived at the office around 7am, & I was the first one there – this never happens.  I immediately got worried that the proverbial “they” had cancelled work & forgot to tell me.  I went about my business & turned on all the lights & got to work.   After about 15 minutes, other coworkers arrived – whew!  Around 9am, our HSE Manager informed everyone that our four Houston offices would be closing at noon.

Since Friday was a pay day, yes that really made a difference, I went back to the grocery store to get food that didn’t need to be kept cold or cooked.  Bananas, apples, bread, peanut butter, crackers, batteries for flashlights…you get the idea.

Around this time, my landlord informed me that a plumber couldn’t to my house until Saturday as they were prepping for the rain, which I thought was crazy because the weather was supposed to be worse on Saturday.

At this point, Houston’s Mayor Sylvester Turner (I love him) told Houston residents not to evacuate; we still assumed that the Houston area would just be getting some rain much like San Antonio & Austin.  Governor Abbott, who does not reside in the Houston area, told people to evacuate.  Clear miscommunication here.  You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes at Governor Abbott.

Once I got home, I was glued to my TV watching the Weather Channel.  At 10pm, Hurricane Harvey hit Port Aransas, TX as a Category 4 hurricane, moving at only 2 miles per hour.  Parts of Port A (Texans call it that) were a 100% loss.

Harvey’s projected path as of Friday: Harvey's Path

Rain steadily increased throughout the night.

Saturday, August 26th:
Lots of rain as I woke up Saturday morning.  However, this was the view from my front porch in The Woodlands, about 15 miles north of Houston.  This ditch fills, but drains very quickly…My house

My TV wasn’t working, so I got a lot of my news from social media this morning. I turned my AC way down, anticipating that the electricity would go out at some point, & thinking that it would help take time for my house to heat back up.  Its still August in Texas, y’all.

I learned that Hurricane Harvey had been downgraded over night to Tropical Storm Harvey, but only moving at 1-2 miles per hour.  That meant it was spinning over Port Aransas & Victoria, TX & that the “dirty” side of the storm was hovering over Houston dropping 3-6″ of rain per hour.  At this point, people were being asked to shelter in place as the roads were quickly flooding.

Good news was that my water heater was fixed!

Sunday, August 27th:
I woke up to this image on the news Sunday morning: Sunday

My house was still safe & dry with only 20″ of rain falling so far at my house, but I could not turn away from the devastation being reported.  Let me put this in perspective, I had 20″ of rain over 2 days; parts of Houston got 20″ of rain in a few hours.  Some people had flooding in their homes in a matter of 45 minutes.  I couldn’t help but be so thankful that I was safe & warm; I also cried intermittently because I was so overwhelmed at the loss I was seeing.

People were told to get on their roofs, & if they couldn’t to put a white sheet, towel, or paper in their window so first responders knew to evacuate the people in those homes. Hospitals became flooded.  All of the news coverage was focused on Houston & southern suburbs, so I kept checking Facebook for updates on The Woodlands.

Spring Creek, which runs throughout The Woodlands & Spring, finally crested & over flowed Sunday afternoon.

Help from everywhere flooded the city & surrounding areas.  Citizens with jet skis, boats, & high-water vehicles were asked to lend a helping hand. Neighbors helping neighbors. Help arrived in the form of: the National Guard, the US Coast Guard, the Cajun Navy, Red Cross, FEMA, United Way, local & state law enforcement, fire fighters, & so many others.

Monday, August 28th:
My office was closed due to flooding.  Luckily, our suite is on the second floor.

The rain seemed to slow down a bit, at least at my house, but the water was still on the rise.  All rain north of the Houston area was flowing south trying to get to the Gulf of Mexico.

Things finally seemed calm enough for me to venture out, so I went to my friend Amy’s house.  Her husband was bbq’ing, & I learned how to play “Crazy” Rumi, with special family rules.  We have to take the light-hearted moments where we can get them.

Tuesday, August 29th:
The office is still closed.  I’m working from home, while gathering clothes & such to donate.

Harris County (Houston) & Montgomery County (The Woodlands) are doing controlled releases of the local reservoirs & levees to help maintain the integrity of the dams hoping to minimize flooding.

As of 2:22pm, 9 civilians & Sergeant Steven Perez, of the Houston PD, have lost their lives.  Please keep the fine folks of Texas in your thoughts & prayers.

Why didn’t people evacuate?
Red this article: Why Didn’t Officials Order The Evacuation Of Houston?

Victim

How you can help:
General help:
Text 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross
Donate to the United Way
Donate at youcaring.org/JJWatt
Purchase a Texas Forever tshirt from theshopforward.com or Magnolia
Purchase something from Kendra ScottKendra Scott

Help children:
Donate to Texas Diaper Bank
Donate to The Driscoll Children’s Hospital in Corpus Christi

Help animals:
Donate to Houston SPCA
Donate to Austin Pets Alive!

Help people with medical needs:
Donate to Portlight
Donate to Direct Relief USA

Help farmers:
Donate to STAR Fund

Help the homeless:
Donate to Coalition for the Houston Homeless

Food Banks:
Houston Food Bank
832-369-9390
houstonfoodbank.org
Galveston Food Bank
409-945-4232
galvestoncountyfoodbank.org
Food Bank of the Golden Crescent (Victoria)
361-578-0591
victoriafoodbank.org
Closed Friday
Corpus Christi Food Bank
361-887-6291
foodbankcc.com
Southeast Texas Food Bank (Beaumont)
409-839-8777
setxfoodbank.org
Food Bank of the Rio Grande Valley (Pharr)
956-682-8101
foodbankrgv.com
Brazos Valley Food Bank (Bryan)
979-779-3663
bvfb.org
Central Texas Food Bank (Austin)
512-282-2111
centraltexasfoodbank.org
San Antonio Food Bank
210-337-3663
safoodbank.org
You can also list your home on Airbnb for those displaced.

Things I’ve learned:
Ant beds float…as if bugs weren’t gross enough.
The Texas Rangers are assholes.  Read this article from Deadspin.
Houstonians are beautiful and awesome and hopeful.  This is the America I know & love. Houston
The reporters covering this catastrophe need raises.  They risked their lives to help rescue folks in need.  ABC 13’s Courtney Fischer gave me all the feels.

I’ll be honest, I’ve really had to force myself to not be offended by non-Texans talking about things other than Harvey.  I’m sorry, but I can’t bring myself to care about the MMA fight, or the VMAs, or Taylor Swift’s new song right now.  I just don’t care.  These trivial things do not matter at the best of times.

I’m happy to be safe & dry.  I will be volunteering this week at local shelters.  Please do what you can to help, even if it is just sending positive vibes our way.  Thank you.

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Multiple Surprise Parties

This recap will be a Tweet Cap.  This episode was tough to watch & I’d Rather be watching Then & Now with Andy Cohen.  If you missed the episode, all you need to know:

  • Carole & her mom campaigned in PA.
    • Love her or hate her, Carole did her part to educate people on the importance of voting.
  • Ramona got a new face for her birthday gift to herself – looked painful.
  • Carole’s Election Party was more of a funeral.
    • Her toast was lovely.
  • Ramona almost ruined her own surprise party, & she’s still the worst.
    • She couldn’t wait for Dorinda to pick her up.
  • Ramona thinks Bethenny needs to move on from their fight.
    • Sonja was actually the voice of reason.yawn

Favorite Tweets from the night: S9E5.1S9E5.2S9E5.3

What did y’all think of this episode?  Is Bethenny justified for being mad at Ramona still?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Soft-Core Politics

Y’all, I’m such a dingbat!  I wrote this post last week & forgot to hit “Publish.” DUH.  Blogging 101, right?!?  We’re all human, so sue me.

I love when these gals go to The Hamptons!  I wish I lived in their colonial, shingle style homes!  They’re my favorite!!!  This episode was good, but not that much actually happened.

After arriving in The Hamptons, Bethenny & Carole met Luann, Dorinda, & Ramona for dinner.  Ramona chaotically whirled into the restaurant, plopped down, & promptly went for Bethenny’s jugular.  Normally I do not defend B, she doesn’t need my help after all, but this seemed uncalled for, calculated, & vicious.  Ramona

So, apparently 20+ years ago Bethenny tried to be an actress, but never made it past the D List; she had to do a topless scene once in a movie.  I guess Ramona leaked this to the press found out about it & honed in on Bethenny, calling it her “porno past.”  She kept asking if Bryn had seen it in the tabloids & if B was addressing it with her 6yo daughter.  You read that right, six. years. old.

Y’all, is Ramona chemically imbalanced?  Her train of thought is so difficult to follow.  I really just don’t understand her logic; is she offended by Bethenny?  Is she trying to embarrass Bethenny?  Was there a legit reason for bringing up her nude scene in a D-rated movie, other than being catty & nosy?  I agree with the butler from last week.  I don’t care that Ramona had a horrible childhood, that does not excuse her current god awful behavior.  See a therapist if you can’t cope with your childhood.

Luann loved this ridiculous argument & added her two cents for whatever it’s worth…two cents?  She thought Bethenny desrved Ramona’s tirade because she’s selfish & only thinks about herself.  Bethenny is single, & when Bryn is at her Dad’s for the weekend (or whatever the arrangement is) then B can be as self-centered as she wants. B

The rest of the episode was basically the fall out from this disastrous dinner.  The only person that wants to talk politics with Carole is Carole…and sometimes Dorinda.  Sonja & Dorinda still hate each other.  Bethenny refused to go to Ramona’s dinner party.  The End.

I feel like the hour flew by, but not that much happened…weird.  Was this episode bizarre to anyone else?

Favorite Tweets of the Night:  S9E3.1S9E3.2

Next Monday, I’m babysitting so my #SouthernCharm recap will be up a little late.

Kiss Hug,

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Real Housewives: “Characters”

Hey y’all…I thought it would be fun to “cast” each housewife, in all cities, into specific characters.  This list consists of the ladies from the current or most recent Season.  I am omitting the ones we already know have left the series (Yolanda, Jules, etc).  Many of the ladies fit into more than one category…

Here goes nothing…heather

 

The Victim: victim
Vicki – RHOC
Lisa Vanderpump – RHOBH (also a Master Manipulator)
Ramona – RHONY (also a Pot Stirrer)
Teresa – RHONJ
Kenya – RHOA

 

The Pot Stirrer: pot-stirrer
Tamra – RHOC
Lisa Rinna – RHOBH
Eileen – RHOBH (particularly last season)
Bethenny – RHONY
Jacqueline – RHONJ
Porsha – RHOA

 

The Fixer: fixer
Shannon – RHOC
Kyle – RHOBH
Dorinda – RHONY (she stirs it up, but also tries to fix it)
Siggy – RHONJ
Kandi – RHOA
Sheree – RHOA

 

The Smart One: smart
Heather – RHOC (also a Fixer)
Carole – RHONY
Phaedra – RHOA

 

 

 

The Dumb One: dumb
Kelly – RHOC
Dolores – RHONJ (specifically because she relies on her ex-husband financially)
Melissa – RHONJ (she has some trouble using words correctly)

 

 

The Lily Pad One: lily-pad
Meghan – RHOC (I actually think Jim will “Lily Pad” Meghan)
Erika – RHOBH (I heard rumors that her husband may be heading to the big house)
Cynthia – RHOA (because Peter is a Tool McDouche Nugget)

 

 

The Delusional One: delusional
Luann – RHONY (specifically because of Tom)
Sonja – RHONY (less so this season – is she delightfully naive?)

 

 

I don’t regularly watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta, so please let me know if I’ve mis-cast someone…from any of the cities.  How would y’all cast the ladies?  Did I forget anyone?

Kiss Hug,

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RHOC: Cast Analysis

Okay y’all, I haven’t done one of these in a while.  Here goes nothing…

First of all, the outfits in this promo picture are horrendous, specifically Meghan.  rhoc

Let’s dive in with the ladies shall we?  Remember this is just my take on the ladies & their antics.  Agree or disagree, but keep it respectful. 🙂  This list is in order of longest on the show to shortest time on the show.

Vicki:  The OG of all the cities, & we can all thank her son Michael for getting her on this show.  Vicki is my least favorite of all the franchises.  She has quite the ego; her head is so big I don’t know how she stands up.  Gretchen was 100% correct when she called Vicki a hypocrite all those seasons ago.  If you were to look up the definition of hypocrite, Vicki’s picture would be next to it.  Vicki seems to have a real problem taking accountability for her actions & deflecting her problems on others, playing the victim card constantly.  However, she loves holding her cast mates to a higher standard & is often mad at them for things she has done herself.

So obviously, I can’t stand her, but I dislike the same “character” in all the cities.  This is the character that always has to be right, can never apologize, & when they do apologize it is insincere or they take it back.  You would recognize this person as Teresa from NJ, Ramona from NY, Kenya/Nene from ATL, & LVP from BH.  I don’t count Dallas & Potomac as they have not had a second season & we haven’t seen their true colors yet.

Tamra:  I vastly prefer Jesus Jugs Tamra to Simon’s Tamra.  Tamra is definitely the shit stirrer, but she apologizes when necessary & means it.  I’ve enjoyed Tamra immensely without the Gretchen drama…or the Simon drama.  Without Simon, there is a lot less Vicki drama as well…go figure.

Heather:  Heather is one of my favorites!  I know many of you disagree & think she’s pretentious…she definitely can be.  Does anyone really need 4 kinds of ice?  However, she brings a certain level of class & intelligence to the OC that I really appreciate.  I think she & Terry realize this fame can be fleeting & are cashing in big – I admire that tenacity & hustle.

Shannon:  In all honesty, I couldn’t stand Shannon her first season – I thought she was a wack-job, but I definitely have enjoyed her since.  She knows how to have fun & whoop it up with or without The OG of the OC.  She’s goofy & weird – all that new age crap is fun to watch.  I love that she’s so into it, but doesn’t actually seem to enjoy it (see cupping).  Let’s be real, we all have a little Shannon in us.  shannon-beador

Meghan:  Okay, I truly think Meghan would have been a one-and-done Housewife, EXCEPT for the fact that she was right about Brooks.  Had that outcome been different, she would have been gone after her first season for sure.  I didn’t mind her last season, but I am not feeling her at all this season.  MKE is stunningly beautiful, but my biggest complaint is that she makes very unfortunate headgear mistakes; whether it’s a really bad hat or headband, must they always have sequins?  She’s too old for this…anyone over the age of 13 is too old for sequins.mkeLet’s not forget the pink hair, if I’m not mistaken it was for a good cause, but it was a very bad Pepto Bismol shade of pink.

Kelly:  Wow-wee Kelly!  She is on the Hot Mess Express as Cameran Eubanks would say, going nowhere fast.  Kelly reminds me so much of “Simon’s Tamra.”  She lashes out & doesn’t know how to control or deal with her anger properly.  Maybe she should take up kickboxing or scream into a pillow?  If Kelly gets a second season, it will be very interesting to see how/if she changes.  She doesn’t really add much value to the show & at this point I wouldn’t even notice if she was gone.

What do you guys think of the RHOC ladies?  Do y’all agree with my analysis of each Housewife?

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY: An Open Letter to Bethenny

Now that the season is officially over, I feel can get a few things off my chest about the one & only Queen B.

Dear Bethenny Frankel,

I really miss the strong feisty woman you used to be.  What has happened to you?  Where is the girl of yester-year that lovingly snarked on all her costars, & everyone was fair game?  I miss your equal opportunity snarky confessionals.  I felt like you always said what everyone was thinking, now the targeted cruelty is painful to watch.

This season in particular, you brought the entire season to a level so low it’s a wonder we could even see it at all.  You turned Carole into a mean whiny brat, much like yourself.  Both of you used to snark so beautifully, but together you’re horrible, diabolical mean girls.  Careful – your ugly black heart is starting to show.

Haven’t you ever heard that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?  This season you weaved a complicated web of vitriol & cruelty, & none of your costars were spared.  You even went after your beloved Carole at one point; however, more often than not she was your cohabitant of said web. Charlotte's Web

I feel that all the focus you give towards spewing hatred must be exhausting you, because girl you’re looking haggard.  You remind me of skeletor, Marc Anthony…rough.  Marc Anthony
You are very reminiscent of the Bethenny that treated the ex-husband like a piece of gum you can’t get off the bottom of your shoe on Bethenny Ever After.  You also remind me of Kelly Bensimon telling you that “She’s up here & you’re down there,” but now you’re Kelly treating your costars horrifically.

The way you don’t seem to care recognize that you are horrible to your castmastes shows your true colors; perhaps you’re the Village Idiot?  Treating people like they are undeserving of your time does you no favors.  Perhaps anger management classes would benefit you, or you should go back to your therapist?  Everyone you encounter deserves some basic level of respect, simply due to the fact that you’re both human.  The way you treat people is disgusting & deplorable, you should be ashamed of your behavior.

I would love to see a strong, happy, supportive, & open-minded Bethenny next time you’re on my TV, whether it be RHONY or another platform.  Please de-compress after this past season of RHONY, & come back refreshed & better than ever.

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Reunion of Hypocrites, Cocaine, & Vocab Lessons

As per ushe, I was babysitting Wednesday night & was late to watching the reunion.  First things first, let’s talk fashion.  Reunion

Jules looked great & healthy! She lost a hermit of a husband, but managed to gain a little weight & she has never looked better!

Sonja looked beautiful, as always. She almost glowed, she was so luminescent.

Dorinda looked good. Her hair was shiny; she looked healthy & sober. Dorinda does love a sequin & bedazzled outfit.  Fetish?

Luann looked like maybe she has put on some weight, but I think it was just the way she was sitting.  Either that, or jumpsuits are not very flattering to her…

Bethenny looked fine as usual…nothing special. I thought her face looked a little gaunt. Did her jumpsuit (dress?) have a cape on the back or Tinkerbell wings?

Ramona has the worst fashion sense & always has. She doesn’t seem to know what is age appropriate.  Spaghetti straps, really?  At least she wasn’t wearing macrame.

Carole looked like a feather duster. Enough said.  I did like the braid in her hair.

Now onto the show, it started off friendly as they usually do.  I thought we were glimpsing the old Bethenny, but I was quickly proven wrong…to my dismay.  Andy quickly delved into Dorinda & John’s relationship.  Dorinda said that it is hard for people that knew her in her marriage to like John.  He’s very different than her husband, visually.  What does that even mean?  They weren’t twins, so of course he is visually different.  Duh.  Andy then brought up the eighth Housewife, Dorinda’s alleged drug use.  Bethenny refused to discuss it by implying that she could destroy Dorinda in the process.  Why even dangle that carrot then?  All of the women, with the exception of Sonja, keep mum & ask Andy to move it along while looking shifty & uncomfortable.  Sonja flat out says, “We all know you do drugs.”  Dorinda adamantly denied drug use…perhaps John drugs her on the sly?   Dorinda

Andy briefly moves onto Jules, the divorce, & how she’s doing, which okay.  Then onto Ramona’s love life.  She shouldn’t be allowed to talk.  Is Ramona constantly trying to play it coy?  Or is she just that stupid & offensive?  I have to wonder if gay people find it offensive when they are referred to as “The Gays” or “My Gays” by any of the Real Housewives.  I’m offended & I’m straight.  We also learn that Luann cannot pronounce Radziwill, Sonja, or Switzerland. Ramona cannot pronounce didn’t.

Things finally get more interesting when the Bershits Berkshires are brought up.  Does Dorinda really eat a week old birthday cake?  Can we collectively all say EWWWW? Although, the sentiment was nice to share her cake with Hannah’s cake.  Andy then deep dives into the Bethenny slut-shaming Luann propaganda.  B could not admit that her behavior was disgusting & that she slut-shamed Lu.  Bethenny became a little unhinged, which seems to be her MO.  Luann called out Bethenny’s hypocrisy by pointing out that she is dating a married man, while still married herself.  In the state of New York, legal separation is recognized with a signed decree.  separation

So whether or not Bethenny was “cheating” is hearsay, but she was definitely overly defensive, which to me made her look guilty as charged.  I thought calling her boyfriend’s daughter was uncalled for, low, & embarrassing.  This made a bad situation worse, & seemed very contrived.  I really used to love Bethenny, but maybe it’s time for another hiatus from RHONY?

I went back through Twitter & found my favorite Tweets from Part 1: 1.11.21.31.4

What did y’all think of the reunion?  I can’t wait to see Part 2!

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: How Could You Do This To Me?

William H. Macy, this episode was dramatic!  It was like watching a ping pong match, back & forth, back & forth between Luann & Bethenny.  I will say that at the beginning of the episode I liked B; she was genuinely distraught over the information she had, & she was empathetic & compassionate towards someone other than herself.  Luann was predictably shocked & somewhat at a loss for what to do.  Once Bethenny actually shared Tom’s indiscretion with Luann, you know the one that should have known from the beginning, I kind of stopped paying attention…it just seemed  a little contrived.  Lots of crying  but no tears.

Okay so as I knew she would, Ramona made this awful situation all about herself & what she went through with Mario…all while wearing Sookie’s bump it.  I’m also still mad at her for getting Sonja all riled up about Tom, several episodes ago, because poor Sonja keeps on bemoaning her misfortune at losing her lover.  DelusionalThis happened while Lu is tried not to vomit from her devastation.  What a bunch of narcissistic bitches…just sayin’.  If I hear something along the lines of, “I lost my lover of 10 years,” one more time…  On another note, why did Bethenny need consoling after breaking the news.  This was premeditated.

Things got much more interesting once the ladies were back in NYC.  Luann stayed in a hotel for a few days to figure out what she wanted to do.  Tom valiantly fought to get back in Lu’s good graces…surprise!  He succeeded.  Meanwhile, across town, Dorinda informs Ramona & us that Tom & Lu are trying to recruit her to say that he never cheated.  Bethenny has Carole over to explain that she is now angry with Lu because she is ghosting B.  They think that Luann is more upset that it happened in such a public way, rather than the fact it happened at all.  But as everyone knows, the messenger always takes the bullet sooner or later…as what happened here by the end of the episode.

Fast forward to Bethenny hosting a party to, you guessed it, push another Skinnygirl product on us.  Do you think Andy will allow Skinnygirl at the reunion?  To be honest, a watermelon lime margarita sounds delish right about now.  All the ladies show up, plus the reappearance of John & Michael.  Who knew they’d be allowed out of detention?   Adam also appeared, sans man bun…his food is now safe to consume y’all.  I’m not gonna lie, that party looked fun.  A pinata filled with jewelry = GENIUS!  The photobooth was also cute.  Party

Luann confronted Bethenny, & her side boob, about continuing to talk about her situation.  Lu did look kind of dumb for asking B about the amount of info that she had.  If I had to give someone that kind of news, you bet your ass that I will have as many facts as I can exactly for moments just like this.  Enraged, Bethenny snarks something along the lines of, “I’ll never tell you anything again.”  Looking for a new target for ire, B hones in on Jules for the JoAnne’s dinner nightmare.  I was disappointed that Jules backed down under Bethenny’s wrath.  She blamed it all on Dorinda, when really Dorinda told Jules to stand up for herself.  Everything Jules said at that dinner about Bethenny was spot on.

The season ended with the ladies violently busting open the pinata.  Dorinda got the high end jewelry…I hope she doesn’t pawn it for cocaine.  Ramona got a necklace, which she plans to re-gift at Luann’s wedding.

Favorite Tweets from the night:  19.119.219.319.4

What did you all think of this season?  Are you excited for the reunion(s)?

I’m still trying to decide what I’ll recap next on Bravo…suggestions?

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY: Baga-Tom

OMG! I think Bravo & ABC are in cahoots about teasing previews.  On the other hand, I loved all the “Tom”-centric puns made last night.

Bethenny struggled on when & how to tell Luann about the salacious pictures of Tom; however, she manages to tell Ramona & Carole.  Bethenny did seem genuinely distraught over the situation; Ramona, however, was so gleeful that everything about her grosses me out.  Ro vows to keep her mouth shut & immediately runs to Sonja to drop the a-TOM-ic bomb.  B showed the pics to Carole who confirmed tat it was definitely Tom-cat.

Luann joins Ramona for manicures, where it is so disgustingly obvious that Ramona is salivating over the opportunity to break her vow of silence.  She not-so-subtly asks Lu about her convo with Bethenny, to which Luann said that it was weird.  Lu reminded Ro that she still had plenty of time to get to know Tom during their engagement…sounds like a solid plan.  Rolling eyes

Sonja, Ramona, & Bethenny arrive first to the restaurant for dinner where they continue to harp on the Tom-Luann-Sonja-Ramona love square & the cheating for an HOUR & A HALF!  If my friends showed up that late to dinner, we may not be friends for too much longer.  Also, I would never wait that long.  According to Sonja, Tom did tell her that he met Luann & really liked her.  Why Sonja remains so upset I just don’t get.  Did she think she was going to fix Tom & get him for herself?  Is she thinking what does Lu have that I don’t have for Tom to choose her?  Is she jealous?  The first rule of “friends with Benefits” is don’t get too attached or emotionally involved – that never ends well.  Watch that movie with Justin Timberlake & Mila Kunis.  friends with benefits

Finally the other women show up & Ramona rushes to their table so Bethenny doesn’t have to sit next to anyone else.  This is so weird, but I guess B is trying to avoid Luann.  The other gals were late because Carole split her pants.  This infuriates Bethenny & she goes on a rant against her BFF.  Dorinda tried to resuscitate the dinner by incoherently announcing that they would all be going to the Sandbar the next day.  This sounded fun to me, but I also assumed they would be going to a sandbar & swimming with stingrays like I did in the Grand Caymans.  Turns out it is like a boat potluck with food & cocktails in a really shallow part of the water, thus calling it a sand bar.  Y’all, this still sounds way more fun to me than Bagatelle; plus if Ramona’s going to Bagatelle then I’d want to be anywhere else.  This is yet another example of why I cannot stand Ramona Singer.  She did not plan this trip, yet feels the need to constantly insult every idea that Dorinda comes up with.  Some friend she is.

After dinner Sonja & Bethenny head back to the hotel where they bond a little more & call Tom to confront him for cheating.  The other ladies paint the town red & get shit faced.  Jules raped a trombone.  Dorinda misses John, Lu misses Tom, & Jules does NOT miss Michael.  HAHAHA!  trombone

According to Ramona’s face the next morning she got laid, which you would think would make her nice, but no.  Ramona flat out lied to Dorinda saying she was going to “lay down & rest” instead of going to the Sandbar.  Sonja adds to her Tom-tale that the she was supposed to meet his mother around Thanksgiving.  Like us all, Dorinda is appalled to still be talking about this & thinks they will actually make it down the aisle.  Keep in mind that Dorinda doesn’t know about the cheating yet.

Queen B rudely called Dorinda the Village Idiot because she see’s what she wants to see.  Perhaps I’m the village idiot too then, because from where I’m sitting Tom’s story doesn’t seem to change regarding Ramonja, yet Sonja’s & Ramona’s stories continually get more involved & elaborate. And, by the way, why does it even matter?  Luann has already said, MANY many times, that she doesn’t care what happened BL.

B & Ramonja go to Bagetlle, while the rest on the gang goes to the Sandbar…including Carole (What?!?! Say it ain’t so!)  All the ladies like Carole so much better when her head isn’t stuck up Bethenny’s tight ass.   Me too!  Luann met some fellows that sang Chic C’est La Vie, which she & I adored.  Carole ventured out in a canoe to get food for their boat, & got a hot dog for herself & ice cream for the others.  Bagatelle was a major snooze fest for us viewers.

Back on land, they all go out to one last boring dinner.  Dorinda calls out Ramona for lying about going to Bagatelle.  Dorinda thinks Ramona is a dog that bites.  She’ll pat her on the ass, but not on the face…whatever that means.

We end the episode with the beginnings of Bethenny’s horrible news about Tom to LuAnn.

Tweets from the night:  18.118.218.318.418.5

What did y’all think of the build up to this episode & the episode itself?  I thought it was kind of a letdown.

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Tweet-Cap: “Friends” & Luvahs

Okay y’all, I was remiss & totally dropped the ball on recapping last week’s RHONY episode.  It was pretty epic, & I feel really bad about not getting my act together & recapping right after the episode.  my badI blame it on the To Be Continued…  However, I did go back & dig through my August 3rd Tweets to create a Tweet-Cap for you all.  Hopefully all is forgiven.

Without further ado:  17.117.217.317.417.517.617.7

I promise to be better next time!

Kiss Hug,

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