RHONY Recap: Reunion of Hypocrites, Cocaine, & Vocab Lessons

As per ushe, I was babysitting Wednesday night & was late to watching the reunion.  First things first, let’s talk fashion.  Reunion

Jules looked great & healthy! She lost a hermit of a husband, but managed to gain a little weight & she has never looked better!

Sonja looked beautiful, as always. She almost glowed, she was so luminescent.

Dorinda looked good. Her hair was shiny; she looked healthy & sober. Dorinda does love a sequin & bedazzled outfit.  Fetish?

Luann looked like maybe she has put on some weight, but I think it was just the way she was sitting.  Either that, or jumpsuits are not very flattering to her…

Bethenny looked fine as usual…nothing special. I thought her face looked a little gaunt. Did her jumpsuit (dress?) have a cape on the back or Tinkerbell wings?

Ramona has the worst fashion sense & always has. She doesn’t seem to know what is age appropriate.  Spaghetti straps, really?  At least she wasn’t wearing macrame.

Carole looked like a feather duster. Enough said.  I did like the braid in her hair.

Now onto the show, it started off friendly as they usually do.  I thought we were glimpsing the old Bethenny, but I was quickly proven wrong…to my dismay.  Andy quickly delved into Dorinda & John’s relationship.  Dorinda said that it is hard for people that knew her in her marriage to like John.  He’s very different than her husband, visually.  What does that even mean?  They weren’t twins, so of course he is visually different.  Duh.  Andy then brought up the eighth Housewife, Dorinda’s alleged drug use.  Bethenny refused to discuss it by implying that she could destroy Dorinda in the process.  Why even dangle that carrot then?  All of the women, with the exception of Sonja, keep mum & ask Andy to move it along while looking shifty & uncomfortable.  Sonja flat out says, “We all know you do drugs.”  Dorinda adamantly denied drug use…perhaps John drugs her on the sly?   Dorinda

Andy briefly moves onto Jules, the divorce, & how she’s doing, which okay.  Then onto Ramona’s love life.  She shouldn’t be allowed to talk.  Is Ramona constantly trying to play it coy?  Or is she just that stupid & offensive?  I have to wonder if gay people find it offensive when they are referred to as “The Gays” or “My Gays” by any of the Real Housewives.  I’m offended & I’m straight.  We also learn that Luann cannot pronounce Radziwill, Sonja, or Switzerland. Ramona cannot pronounce didn’t.

Things finally get more interesting when the Bershits Berkshires are brought up.  Does Dorinda really eat a week old birthday cake?  Can we collectively all say EWWWW? Although, the sentiment was nice to share her cake with Hannah’s cake.  Andy then deep dives into the Bethenny slut-shaming Luann propaganda.  B could not admit that her behavior was disgusting & that she slut-shamed Lu.  Bethenny became a little unhinged, which seems to be her MO.  Luann called out Bethenny’s hypocrisy by pointing out that she is dating a married man, while still married herself.  In the state of New York, legal separation is recognized with a signed decree.  separation

So whether or not Bethenny was “cheating” is hearsay, but she was definitely overly defensive, which to me made her look guilty as charged.  I thought calling her boyfriend’s daughter was uncalled for, low, & embarrassing.  This made a bad situation worse, & seemed very contrived.  I really used to love Bethenny, but maybe it’s time for another hiatus from RHONY?

I went back through Twitter & found my favorite Tweets from Part 1: 1.11.21.31.4

What did y’all think of the reunion?  I can’t wait to see Part 2!

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: How Could You Do This To Me?

William H. Macy, this episode was dramatic!  It was like watching a ping pong match, back & forth, back & forth between Luann & Bethenny.  I will say that at the beginning of the episode I liked B; she was genuinely distraught over the information she had, & she was empathetic & compassionate towards someone other than herself.  Luann was predictably shocked & somewhat at a loss for what to do.  Once Bethenny actually shared Tom’s indiscretion with Luann, you know the one that should have known from the beginning, I kind of stopped paying attention…it just seemed  a little contrived.  Lots of crying  but no tears.

Okay so as I knew she would, Ramona made this awful situation all about herself & what she went through with Mario…all while wearing Sookie’s bump it.  I’m also still mad at her for getting Sonja all riled up about Tom, several episodes ago, because poor Sonja keeps on bemoaning her misfortune at losing her lover.  DelusionalThis happened while Lu is tried not to vomit from her devastation.  What a bunch of narcissistic bitches…just sayin’.  If I hear something along the lines of, “I lost my lover of 10 years,” one more time…  On another note, why did Bethenny need consoling after breaking the news.  This was premeditated.

Things got much more interesting once the ladies were back in NYC.  Luann stayed in a hotel for a few days to figure out what she wanted to do.  Tom valiantly fought to get back in Lu’s good graces…surprise!  He succeeded.  Meanwhile, across town, Dorinda informs Ramona & us that Tom & Lu are trying to recruit her to say that he never cheated.  Bethenny has Carole over to explain that she is now angry with Lu because she is ghosting B.  They think that Luann is more upset that it happened in such a public way, rather than the fact it happened at all.  But as everyone knows, the messenger always takes the bullet sooner or later…as what happened here by the end of the episode.

Fast forward to Bethenny hosting a party to, you guessed it, push another Skinnygirl product on us.  Do you think Andy will allow Skinnygirl at the reunion?  To be honest, a watermelon lime margarita sounds delish right about now.  All the ladies show up, plus the reappearance of John & Michael.  Who knew they’d be allowed out of detention?   Adam also appeared, sans man bun…his food is now safe to consume y’all.  I’m not gonna lie, that party looked fun.  A pinata filled with jewelry = GENIUS!  The photobooth was also cute.  Party

Luann confronted Bethenny, & her side boob, about continuing to talk about her situation.  Lu did look kind of dumb for asking B about the amount of info that she had.  If I had to give someone that kind of news, you bet your ass that I will have as many facts as I can exactly for moments just like this.  Enraged, Bethenny snarks something along the lines of, “I’ll never tell you anything again.”  Looking for a new target for ire, B hones in on Jules for the JoAnne’s dinner nightmare.  I was disappointed that Jules backed down under Bethenny’s wrath.  She blamed it all on Dorinda, when really Dorinda told Jules to stand up for herself.  Everything Jules said at that dinner about Bethenny was spot on.

The season ended with the ladies violently busting open the pinata.  Dorinda got the high end jewelry…I hope she doesn’t pawn it for cocaine.  Ramona got a necklace, which she plans to re-gift at Luann’s wedding.

Favorite Tweets from the night:  19.119.219.319.4

What did you all think of this season?  Are you excited for the reunion(s)?

I’m still trying to decide what I’ll recap next on Bravo…suggestions?

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY: Baga-Tom

OMG! I think Bravo & ABC are in cahoots about teasing previews.  On the other hand, I loved all the “Tom”-centric puns made last night.

Bethenny struggled on when & how to tell Luann about the salacious pictures of Tom; however, she manages to tell Ramona & Carole.  Bethenny did seem genuinely distraught over the situation; Ramona, however, was so gleeful that everything about her grosses me out.  Ro vows to keep her mouth shut & immediately runs to Sonja to drop the a-TOM-ic bomb.  B showed the pics to Carole who confirmed tat it was definitely Tom-cat.

Luann joins Ramona for manicures, where it is so disgustingly obvious that Ramona is salivating over the opportunity to break her vow of silence.  She not-so-subtly asks Lu about her convo with Bethenny, to which Luann said that it was weird.  Lu reminded Ro that she still had plenty of time to get to know Tom during their engagement…sounds like a solid plan.  Rolling eyes

Sonja, Ramona, & Bethenny arrive first to the restaurant for dinner where they continue to harp on the Tom-Luann-Sonja-Ramona love square & the cheating for an HOUR & A HALF!  If my friends showed up that late to dinner, we may not be friends for too much longer.  Also, I would never wait that long.  According to Sonja, Tom did tell her that he met Luann & really liked her.  Why Sonja remains so upset I just don’t get.  Did she think she was going to fix Tom & get him for herself?  Is she thinking what does Lu have that I don’t have for Tom to choose her?  Is she jealous?  The first rule of “friends with Benefits” is don’t get too attached or emotionally involved – that never ends well.  Watch that movie with Justin Timberlake & Mila Kunis.  friends with benefits

Finally the other women show up & Ramona rushes to their table so Bethenny doesn’t have to sit next to anyone else.  This is so weird, but I guess B is trying to avoid Luann.  The other gals were late because Carole split her pants.  This infuriates Bethenny & she goes on a rant against her BFF.  Dorinda tried to resuscitate the dinner by incoherently announcing that they would all be going to the Sandbar the next day.  This sounded fun to me, but I also assumed they would be going to a sandbar & swimming with stingrays like I did in the Grand Caymans.  Turns out it is like a boat potluck with food & cocktails in a really shallow part of the water, thus calling it a sand bar.  Y’all, this still sounds way more fun to me than Bagatelle; plus if Ramona’s going to Bagatelle then I’d want to be anywhere else.  This is yet another example of why I cannot stand Ramona Singer.  She did not plan this trip, yet feels the need to constantly insult every idea that Dorinda comes up with.  Some friend she is.

After dinner Sonja & Bethenny head back to the hotel where they bond a little more & call Tom to confront him for cheating.  The other ladies paint the town red & get shit faced.  Jules raped a trombone.  Dorinda misses John, Lu misses Tom, & Jules does NOT miss Michael.  HAHAHA!  trombone

According to Ramona’s face the next morning she got laid, which you would think would make her nice, but no.  Ramona flat out lied to Dorinda saying she was going to “lay down & rest” instead of going to the Sandbar.  Sonja adds to her Tom-tale that the she was supposed to meet his mother around Thanksgiving.  Like us all, Dorinda is appalled to still be talking about this & thinks they will actually make it down the aisle.  Keep in mind that Dorinda doesn’t know about the cheating yet.

Queen B rudely called Dorinda the Village Idiot because she see’s what she wants to see.  Perhaps I’m the village idiot too then, because from where I’m sitting Tom’s story doesn’t seem to change regarding Ramonja, yet Sonja’s & Ramona’s stories continually get more involved & elaborate. And, by the way, why does it even matter?  Luann has already said, MANY many times, that she doesn’t care what happened BL.

B & Ramonja go to Bagetlle, while the rest on the gang goes to the Sandbar…including Carole (What?!?! Say it ain’t so!)  All the ladies like Carole so much better when her head isn’t stuck up Bethenny’s tight ass.   Me too!  Luann met some fellows that sang Chic C’est La Vie, which she & I adored.  Carole ventured out in a canoe to get food for their boat, & got a hot dog for herself & ice cream for the others.  Bagatelle was a major snooze fest for us viewers.

Back on land, they all go out to one last boring dinner.  Dorinda calls out Ramona for lying about going to Bagatelle.  Dorinda thinks Ramona is a dog that bites.  She’ll pat her on the ass, but not on the face…whatever that means.

We end the episode with the beginnings of Bethenny’s horrible news about Tom to LuAnn.

Tweets from the night:  18.118.218.318.418.5

What did y’all think of the build up to this episode & the episode itself?  I thought it was kind of a letdown.

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: The Snooze Cruise

I’ve struggled to write this recap because this season of RHONY has turned into a real snooze-fest.  Boring

Yesterday, I posted a Tweet asking for help recapping & luckily I got a few responses. 🙂  Thanks Remi & Lily’s Mimi!  RemiLily

I think this sums it up quite nicely, but since I have a job to do I’ll throw in my two cents.

  1. Bethenny’s vagina has once again ruined another cast trip.  Instead of Hawaii, they are now going to Miami.  Hawaii thanks you.  I guess they’ll have to pretend to be Gidget in FL.
  2. Sonja embarrassed her daughter at Parent’s Weekend because she wore a baby seal on her head.  Sonja
  3. Jules has no concept of what pool shoes are.  Who wears suede to the pool?
  4. We’re still talking about Tom of the town, the slut-bag-hoe.
  5. Jules visited her parents.  Guess what?  One is Jewish & the other is Asian.
  6. Luann’s schoolgirl excitement about the boy asking her to the dance is getting a little old.  sixteen candles
  7. These ladies wouldn’t know how to be happy for someone, even if they were given an instruction manual.
  8. I secretly want this cruise to turn into an episode of Gilligan’s Island.  gilligan
  9. Ramona is so embarrassing.  She thinks she is so much hotter than she is.  Poor Avery.  She was a real mess with the bathing suit photo shoot.
  10. I feel like both Sonja & Ramona are making WAAAAY more out of their involvement with Tom, than what happened in real life.
  11. Bethenny loves that she has a bombshell of a secret to hold of Luann.

My favorite tweets from the night:  16.116.216.3

What did y’all think about the episode this week?  Boring, right? I was distracted by all the DNC stuff & Hillary Clinton making history!

Until next week!  I hope you all have a great weekend!

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: The Big Napple

Y’all, what is with this Season of RHONY?  Ever since they left the Bershires, & Greystone Manor, it has turned into a total snooze-fest.  I could easily have taken a nap during this week’s episode…in fact I might’ve, just with my eyes open.

So, all I got from this episode was this:

  1. Ramona ALWAYS manages to get the best room she wants on group trips.
  2. Mohegan Sun was the most depressing Housewives trip in all the franchises.
  3. Carole & Bethenny are this close to becoming lesbian lovers. #mazel B & C
  4. Carole & Adam have a weird relationship.  She’s at a 7.5, while he’s at a 10.
  5. Jules doesn’t know how to potty train, or wipe for that matter. #gross  Jules
  6. Bethenny is taking little Bryn to Aspen, regardless of doctor’s orders & her “declining” health.
  7. Luann got engaged.  I’m not a fan of yellow diamonds.  Sorry not sorry.  Luann
  8. Ramona has no boundaries or etiquette, thus Dorinda hosted Lu’s engagement party.
  9. The real cast trip will be Hawaii.  Think they’ll fall in a volcano?
  10. Sonja was a sourpuss towards Luann & her happiness.  Shame, shame, I know your name.   Sonja

Tweets of the night:  15.115.215.315.415.515.6

The tweets were harder to get, as my feed was full of the shenanigans going on at the Republican National Convention.  What did you all think of this week?

Until next time, I hope you have a fantastic weekend!!!

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Jules Found Her Cojones

This week’s recap will once again be short, as not much happened – except for the usual screaming match.  If you are on Team Bethenny then you may want to stop reading now.  This episode was a classic tale of “if you dish it, you gotta take it.”

I will preface this by saying that for the last 7+ years I have staunchly been on Team Bethenny.  But, something this season is off.  Her past snarky comments were always met with a chuckle from me as I was often thinking similar thoughts; however, this season she seems to relish being cruel & take pleasure in being a Mean Girl with Carole.  Perhaps Bravo & Andy Cohen have given her too much power?  She now has a radio show on Andy’s Sirius station, she is now an Executive Producer on the RHONY, & has said (on her radio show) that she gave final approval for Jules to be allowed on the cast.  Bethenny boss

At dinner, after Luann stormed off, Jules confronted B about her horrible behavior.  Jules found her cojones & didn’t back down.  Bethenny, on the other hand, totally missed the point Jules was tried to make.  Jules said very clearly, with verbs & all, that B uses humor at other people’s expense & is intentionally cruel.  Jules, calmly & assertively, proceeded to say that she makes fun of herself so these bitches won’t to bring humor to an otherwise serious, scary situation (eating disorder).  Bethenny instead raged about her own issues with anorexia, which Carole chimed right in on in complete support of B.  Carole also that talking behind your friend’s back to other friend’s is par for the course – umm pretty sure you & B do not consider Jules a friend.  When Jules tried to defend herself, Bethenny screamed, “Don’t yell at me.  You don’t get to be the only one to talk.”  This from the woman who never lets anyone else get a word in edge wise.  As B would say, her reaction was disproportionate to the conversation. Jules

Jules wrote a great blog for Bravo, which you can read here. We are on Planet Bethenny

The rest of the episode was pretty uneventful.  Luann scolded Ramona, one on one, about being a horrible friend…nothing new there.  Carole hosted Dorinda & Bethenny for lunch while Adam made cauliflower pizza.  They said Adam was a hot chef; is this true?  I don’t see it.  I’m worried his hair will be in the food…extra flavor I guess.  Sonja hosted a dinner party, where Jules introduced her to a weirdo named Rocco.  John was back & well behaved.  Luann got engaged!

At the end of the episode the ladies headed to Mohegan Sun via party bus, which I learned from my Twitter pals that it is a super fun casino in Connecticut.  I thought it was an Indian (Native American) Tribe or a movie with Kevin Costner.  Bethenny bitched about Jules to Dorinda, within hearing range, which was very passive aggressive.  The one beacon of light in this episode was that B FINALLY apologized to Sonja.  See y’all, miracles do happen.  Hallelujah!  hallelujah

Here are my favorite Tweets from the night:  14.114.214.314.4

What did y’all think of this episode?  Are you Team B or Team Jules?  Do you think Dorinda stirred the pot?  I really hope Andy skewers Bethenny & Carole at the Reunion.

Until next time…

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Reunited & It Feels So Good?

Y’all this episode was another  dud, so much so that I considered not doing a recap.  But alas, I am here for you!

Bethenny had a Skinnygirl event to attend, SHOCKER!  But, I did appreciate the product placement clutch & red hair.  B is good with a theme, but she is making me rethink my favorite color being red.  I think she trademarked it as hers.B Red

Jules went to her checkup to see how her vag was healing.  “Will it be a perfect little pistachio again?”  I think her doctor actually gagged, & the pistachio industry took a dive last night.  JulesOn a side note, what was with her doctor’s lack of face movement while he spoke?  Did he recently have jaw surgery?  That’s how I talked for 6 months after my jaw surgery…

Moving on, Ramonja took dance lessons from one of the gals from Sushi Rocks.  This was the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile.  They should never take a dancing class sober, & should probably stick to Turtle Time – instead they danced like Elaine.  Elaine

B cancelled her surgery & saw an Internist instead, so to celebrate Bethenny hosted a get together with Ramona, Dorinda, & Carole where two kinds of tea were served.  Of course Ramona reverts back to her true self & stirs shit up about Luann, as per ushe.  Gossip

In B’s confessional, she accused Luann of being a narcissist, which is the pot calling the kettle black if ever there was one. #duh  Bethenny & Luann

Of course Dorinda reenacts the tea party for Luann the next morning at breakfast (???).  Dorinda’s impression of Ramona was spot on.  Bravo.  Well done.

Finally all the women are together in one scene for dinner.  Not sure of the purpose for the dinner, I assume Dorinda was the host (???) & she was trying to reunite the group?  Carole & Luann sat next to each other & had a really lovely chat.  say whatI hope we can now move on from Apology-Gate.  The women were all talking over each when Ramona arrived.  She basically construction worker whistled for the gals to notice her entrance.  Ramona's entranceI can’t with this lady, Ramona is too much; she also fits in to Bethenny’s description of a narcissist.

Half the table was discussing Carole & Adam’s sex life, while Luann quietly confronted Ramona about talking shit behind Lu’s back.  Slowly the other girls chimed in, & Bethenny opened her favorite box Pandora’s Box by mentioning that Ramona, Sonja, & Luann share the same men…because you know, Harry & Tom are the only eligible men in NYC.  Sonja chimed in the she & Tom have been F*** Buddies for 10 years.  I feel bad for Lu, these women are being bitches.  I don’t think they are jealous of her happiness with Tom, but they certainly aren’t being supportive or nice.  They take so much glee in tearing Lu’s relationship apart, but it doesn’t warrant the dreaded “To Be Continued…” as the episode finished.

My favorite Tweets from the night:  13.113.213.313.413.5

What did y’all think of this episode?  We’re on Week 13 & nothing much has happened since we left the Berkshires.

Until next week!

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: The Berkshits

Wow-wee!  Where do I even begin?  Scary Island may have been surpassed tonight in the Berkshires.  The ladies picked up where they left off last week, with the great Skinnygirl name debate.  Bethenny, once again, tactfully informed Luann that she, in fact, came up with Skinnygirl on her own.  We get it…let’s move on.  Obviously too much to ask for.  Luann moved on & asked B about her personal life, to which Bethenny clammed up.  B then got up & moved around the table to Ramona’s side & proceeded to unleash her pent up rage towards Luann.  By the way, Luann was on the other side of Ramona.  #shehasears  You know it’s bad when Ramona is trying to shush someone.  Lu might have pushed the wrong button by saying that B’s hair looks like hers (it kinda does).

Normally, I am #TeamBethenny, but she came to the Berkshires guns blazing & aimed right at Luann.  She really let Luann have it, multiple times.  She voiced everyone’s past grievances (I think only one point was B’s) towards Lu & screeched until her throat was raw.  Here’s the deal, I don’t think you get to unleash on someone about issues that: a) aren’t your own. b) in the past c) may or may not be true.  I feel like B aired a bunch of dirty laundry, threw Sonja under the bus unnecessarily with Luann, slut-shamed Lu, & made everyone else uncomfortable.  If you’re mad at someone just confront them about the specific issue at that time, in this case Lu’s claims towards SG’s name sake, there are zero advantages to bringing up the past that you have supposedly moved on from.

Dorinda felt bad, as she saved Sonja from the line of fire, but put Lu right in the cross-hairs of B’s sniper.  Bethenny fought her Skinnygirl battle, Carole’s Adam fiasco, & Ramona’s Tom gossip – all as absolute truth.  I think she should take a closer look at those sources.  Ramona is rarely telling the whole truth, & Carole can’t seem to put her big girl panties on…  Meanwhile, Carole arrived amidst the fighting, called Luann a man based on the first voice she heard, & gushed over Dorinda’s holiday decor.  Back at the Bitch Sesh, Ramona was pissed that Luann is now dating her sloppy seconds, Tom.  Shouldn’t she be mad at Dorinda for setting them up if she really was so hot & heavy with him?   i would think that D & Ro, being such good friends, would have discussed Ramona’s relationship with Tom.  Ro is just upset that Lu got the man.  My verdict is that no “Girl Code” was broken here because apparently Harry & Tom are the only single men in NYC, so the pickings are slim.  Geez!

Carole was upset that she didn’t know that Luann would be at Grey Stone Manor.  If I remember correctly, Dorinda did mention to her, at Bethenny’s caviar party, that Lu would be there.  Remember the whole conversation about protecting each other?  At this point Carole needs to move on, it’s saying more about her than Luann now.  #pettymuch Meanwhile, in every room someone is talking about somebody else.  The haircut is brought up over, & over, & over; this is not the real issue, so why are we still talking about this???  Once again B goes off about the past. #scaryislandmuch  This all happened before the first commercial break…just so you know.

Wouldn’t you love to be Dorinda’s house keeper during all this?  Staying out of the fray, but witnessing it all first hand.  I wish she had a confessional.  Dorinda & Carole are upstairs, & Dorinda is stressing over the situation.  Carole, blindly defending B, says that she shouldn’t have invited Lu.  Ummm, up to this getaway, the only person with an issue with Lu was Carole.  This shtick is getting old…seeing a new side of Carole that I’m not loving.  Back downstairs, B is “sick of the way Luann lives.”  Bethenny, you don’t get a fucking say in how Lu lives!  Sonja may have said that Luann brings guys home every night, but Ramona repeated it to you…so clearly it’s unbiased in Ro’s favor, right?  Out on the front porch, Jules is trying to check in on her “dying father.”  Luann went out for a cig (now we know where the voice comes from), & kept interrupting her call to complain about being slut-shamed.  I have to say, Lu was wrong for bringing up her bullshit at that moment, but if her dad is really that sick then Jules should never have been there go home.

Dorinda, as a good host, should have shut this down at the dining table, but was distracted by Carole’s late arrival.  This would never go on for so long in the South.  Lu should leave D alone, but I do agree that Dorinda needs to shut the petty drama down…or send them all home.  Jules & Dorinda are just so glad the drama has nothing to do with them for once.  Ramona is happy about it too!  Upstairs, all the girls are giggling in a room, like “a good old fashioned slumber party.”  In walks Luann to announce that she was leaving – crickets.  Oddly Ramona tried to make the peace.  Down in the kitchen, Lu & Ro are laughing about the fact that Luann thought the weekend was for Dorinda’s birthday party & the cake even says it’s so.  Dorinda overhears this, & majorly over reacts.  That is really her M.O…tonight it was B’s too.  Their blow-ups were disproportionate to the situation.  Luann, being Luann, didn’t make matters any better.  The old broad loves to bring up past issues over & over again.  Dorinda yammered on & on about not dragging her mother into this, blah, blah, blah.  They only mentioned that the cake said “Happy Birthday Dorinda.”        Lorelai

Meanwhile, Luann can’t drop the slut thing from B.  Luann’s lesson for the night should be to let it go.  Bethenny needs to simmer down, & Dorinda should “Tttaaakkkee a Xanax!” as Ro would yell say.  xanaxRo & Lu apologize for disparaging the cake.  Once again Luann can’t drop the slut thing, thus null & voiding her apology.  Being slut-shamed is no excuse for bad behavior to your host.  She totally quoted one of her songs.  Attempting to get the Slumber Party back on track, Jules brought games, which according to Carole is very Asian of her.  Jules noticed that Ramona’s dog’s shit is all over the house.  Clearly this is a metaphor for the night.  The house keeper brought Bethenny some herbal tea called Easy Now – HILARIOUS.  My favorite moment of the night.

Back in the City, we finally meet up with Sonja.  She is getting her “Trouty Snatch” tightened.  We may never fully recover from witnessing this.  Like we really believe that Sonja was afraid of the big wand…she’s not Sonja with a Sexy J for nothing.harvey

Back in the Berkshits, Dorinda decided to take a break to watch Law & Order, while the drama continued to unfold.  This is where I switch from #TeamLuann to #TeamEveryoneElse.  Carole claims that Luann is making everyone uncomfortable, which is partially true (B had a part in that too), but Carole can’t bring herself to clink her glass with Lu’s during the cheers.  Her reasoning you ask?  Because she doesn’t respect her.  Really, REALLY?  Why make an issue out of something so inconsequential as a toast?  Immature.  Uncomfortable.  Awkward.  Get glad in the same britches you got mad in.  With that in mind, Carole & Jules hid in a closet to eavesdrop on Ramona & Luann; while at Ramona’s encouragement, God that’s terrifying, Luann texted Carole to apologize for calling her a pedophile (last year).  Fun fact: we learned that wealthy people wallpaper the inside of their closets…plan to do that immediately.  During this scene, we also learned that the women are no Spelling Bee champs!  Is it just me, or does it seem like Luann is stalking everyone through the house?  Awkward.

Upstairs, D & B have a girl talk…Jules & Carole joined.  This was the least uncomfortable moment in the entire episode; they were even speaking about going down on another woman.  Downstairs in the kitchen, Ramona prompted Lu to text apologize to B.  To Bethenny, it was a “pimple on the ass of the situation.”  Gross analogy, but hilarious all the same.  The girls decided Luann is not to be trusted.  Seriously, what is with the texting? I Luann had to text her apologies because Bethenny & Carole were avoiding her like the plague.  With Dorinda, Luann complains that Ramona is unhappy, jealous of her, & on a mission to ruin her friendships.  B overheard this & assumed it was about her…

To Be Continued…

My favorite tweets from the night: RH Week 8.1RH Week 8.2RH Week 8.3RH Week 8.4RH Week 8,5RH Week 8.6

What did y’all think of this week’s episode?  Scary Island level of amazing, right?

Hope you check back on Saturday for my Take It or Leave It post.

Kiss Hug,

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RHONY Recap: Are You Tipsy, Girl?

Tonight’s episode began with Sonja getting her weekly facial from everyone’s favorite Gossiping Esthetician, Satoko.  Was Satoko trying to say “placenta,” but it came out as “pracenta?”  I don’t blame her for not using it anymore – gross.  During the facial, Sonja discussed her birthday plans with an intern…is it normal to invite your facial guru to a party?   Over at Carole’s, the women show up, one by one, for a psychic reading luncheon with Kim Russo.  What was with that handshake, Dorinda?  What the hell was Bethenny wearing?  That turtleneck was out of control.  According to Jules it’s not very Jewish to see a psychic; she would know because she’s Asian.  Kim told Jules that she will be role model for women.  Moving on…  “I know I’m very popular with the other world,” says Dorinda.  Love it.  She has far too many John’s in her life.  Ramona barges in (her M.O. right?), loud as can be, totally disrespectful of the readings from Psychic Kim.  Kim touches on “R & R” which was Richard & Robert, Dorinda’s deceased husband & his brother. #spooky #cowinkydink

Kim mentions coins to Dorinda, & she loses her shit.  Obviously, it’s sentimental to D as she takes finding any loose change as a sign from Richard…it’s kind of sweet in a creepy sort of way.  The psychic proceeds to inform the group that Richard thinks John is “good for now”, but he can’t provide D with the safety she needs.  Surprisingly, I think Dorinda agrees.  Kim moves on to Bethenny & feels like she is blocking her, but not on purpose.  Um, considering B doesn’t buy into all this, I’d say it was very much on purpose.  Psychic Kim kept mentioning the “death of a man” & B actually had to look up the anniversary of her father’s death.  I remember my own father’s death like it happened yesterday.  February 16, 2008 at 1:32pm.  All our friends & family gathered to say goodbye & then they “pulled the plug.”  So, I don’t buy Bethenny’s nonchalant act.  Ramona chimed in to inform Kim that B & her dad had a strained relationship.  ‘Mona, the first rule of psychic readings is don’t give them any info to work with up front, duh.  Bethenny wasn’t surprised by anything, & ended up being disappointed overall…perhaps she missed a few things while she was texting or checking email on her phone?  Apparently B’s father wants tell her that she will get married again, but both Kim & Bethenny disagree (B vehemently so).

Dorinda pipes up asking if she’ll get remarried, to which the psychic says “not to John.”  Ramona just can’t seem to keep her big mouth shut, & says “Thank God!”   Cue the awkward silence for a beat, & then Dorinda derailing the rest of the reading by giving Ramona the riot act.  Okay, so everyone agrees with Ramona, but she shouldn’t have said that (as per ushe); however, Dorinda’s reaction was completely disproportionate to the situation.  She’s had enough y’all.  She said that John thinks Ramona is a bitch (I don’t disagree), & brought up the fact that Mario cheated on Ramona in their marital bed.  I LOVED the psychic’s reaction, “It had to be said.”  Carole was so embarrassed by her cast mates friends.  Kim can see Ramona getting remarried…God help us all.  Bethenny left early to pick up Bryn, & the only thing she liked about the party was the cheese platter.  Psychic Kim brought up that Ramona’s father died of a heart attack & was upset that he didn’t get to say goodbye.  She cried…reminiscent of her episode in the woods.  I thought Ramona’s father was abusive & they weren’t close?  Dorinda butts in again to bring up John…we get it, ENOUGH!

Next up, Carole joined Jules for lunch at her apartment.  Several things: 1) Jules didn’t know what an iPod was?  What is she a millenial who only listens to music from a streaming source or the cloud or whatever?  2) She’s Asian, which she never lets us forget,  & she didn’t know how to make tea?  I’m questioning if she really even knew how to boil water.  3) All of her homes seem to be “unfinished.”  Her word, not mine.  I could not live like that.  Jules did put together a lovely Schmear-getzborg, which neither ate.  They discussed Psychic Kim, but of course “Jews don’t want to know their fate.”  Y’all, is Jules a Jewish Asian?  I feel like I’ve hear that somewhere.  I kid, I kid…  Carole wanted to sage her apartment after the readings due to Dorinda’s thugishness & the Ramona-Coaster.  Jules confessed to Carole that she has struggled with Anorexia.  Carole observed that Jules has a relationship with food, & over-compensates for guests by always setting out an abundance.  I call that being a good host, but I’m from the South & that’s just good manners to us.  I loved when Carole advised Jules to “articulate your suffering in a way that emancipates & empowers other women.” #preach  Jules could so easily use her story to help others & potentially save a life.  That would be the best outcome from all of her pain.  It was a nice little bonding moment for them & us as the viewers.

Across town, Dorinda & John meet up for date night.  Did he shine his iPhone flashlight in her face & ask the server if she was hot or not?  #awkwardforall #embarrassingtoo  Oh, worse the light came from his glasses…why?  “You’re definitely finding this stuff in Queens,” says Dorinda.  I die!  Once again, D asked John to call a truce between him & Ramona.  They both seem to get annoyed by each of them interrupting the other.  They are so not a good fit.  If the whole world is against John, then he is the problem, not the whole world…think about it Dorinda.Poodles

They both fight for the attention in the conversation, relationship, etc.  This better not be NY’s version of Munchhausen.  Dorinda is clearly exhausted from defending Juicy John to the women.  The smartest thing she’s done this season was walk out of that dinner date.  The next morning (i assume) Sonja is getting her makeup done.  Did she really just tell the makeup artist that she’s allergic to make up & proceed to clean her nose with q-tips?  Girl, be respectful – use a tampon to plug that runny nose.  Sonja is planning to announce her newest venture at her birthday party.  Meanwhile, across a rainy NYC there is a SkinnyGirl event with a SG Food Truck.  I love that B gave her team credit where credit was due.  I appreciate that so much!

We finally arrive at Sonja’s birthday party.  Ramona’s business partner was there taking his turn at hitting on Sonja, with a sexy J.  Sorry dude, she likes them a lot little younger. Shortly after Dorinda,  John arrived with his skeeviness in tact.  Once again, Jules’ weight is a topic for a joke – to her face.  I have to think that comments like that would be detrimental to Jules’ recovery.  They all need sensitivity training…jeez, Louise!  Ramona arrived & immediately started bitching about Luann’s gift for her birthday.  Three things: 1) You are stealing the spotlight from Sonja’s birthday…rude  2)  You are now in your fifties, aren’t you too old to expect a gift?  I didn’t see one for Sonja from you.  3) Ramona was so rude & condescending to Sonja!

Luann arrived, in a crazy outfit but with great hair, & pulled Ramona aside.  She confronted Miss Turtle Time about her jealousy concern over Lu & Sonja living together.  In Ramona’s confessional she sniped that “she’s not like them; she doesn’t go out until 4am & bring home every guy she meets.”  She says all this while not making eye contact with the camera, so I have to wonder…  Ramona may not do that, but she flirts with EVERY man she meets, regardless of his status.  She does anything to get to get a man’s attention, even if she steps on her friends to do it.  Love that Jules eavesdropped on their convo & relayed it to her husband in real time.  Ramona, as the pot, should not be calling anyone’s kettle black…you hear what I’m screaming?   In front of ‘Mona, Dorinda asks Luann if she heard about the necklace story.  I loved this because it is such a Ramona move & D turned the tables on her.  Ramona does not understand the concept of re-gifting.  Lu took it in stride.  Cue to Sonja’s boast about her past life toast & announced her new venture: TipsyGirl Prosecco!  I actually think “Tipsy Girl” is cute, but you know Queen B is going to be pissed – can’t wait for next week!

Okay, my favorite Tweets from the night are below & by request, larger!  RH Week 6.1RH Week 6.2RH Week 6.3RH week 6.4RH Week 6.5

What did y’all think of tonight’s show?

Please check back on Saturday for my TIoLI of the week.  Until next time…

Kiss Hug,

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