Southern Charm Recap: Shepic Paisley Pants

Sorry this post is up a little late…Life got in the way.  Let’s just get right into it, shall we?  Was it just me or was this episode bouncin’ around all over the place?

We start with Landon at Thomas’ Plantation for a polo match – she so badly wants to be Mrs. Ravenel.  Are we not past calling plots of land with hired help “plantations”?  Thomas was rude for shading Kathryn’s cooking skills.  Apparently Landon is an excellent cook, but I’ve yet to see her do anything other than drink wine.  She does that pretty well though.  Here’s a thought Thomas, date a woman your own age & chances are she’ll know how to cook.

Continuing on with the opening montage, Whitney was dressed like a seersucker Colonel Sanders, which Cameran found hilarious.  Austen has Chelsea saved in his phone as “Dream Girl.”  Craig still has no life, no goals, & no schedule much to Naomie’s despair.

On to the Polo Match… Thomas did greet his kids when they first arrived, which Craig no one saw.  Chelsea admitted that she only knew the Pretty Woman version of polo – same. Cam made Whitney hold St. Julien – he held the baby like Rachel Green.  Whitney

During a break in the match (between games?), Thomas was chillin’, relaxin’ all cool when a couple of tools started makin’ trouble with his kiddie brood with Landon, Craig, & Austen.  The nanny walked by on her way to the car to take the kids home, & Thomas barely acknowledged them.  This offended Craig, so much so, that he scolded Thomas – it went over real well as you can imagine.

As the best parent to no children, I am well aware that telling an actual parent how to do anything with their kids gives them the biggest thrill of their life.  ParentsCraig should not be giving Thomas parenting skills; however, Thomas was socializing & could have easily loved on his kiddos.  Landon clearly would make a fantastic step-mom…see gif above.  Landon says that’s the way parents are in the South – um, not in Texas.  Is it possible that Landon’s parents find her as insufferable as I do?  Cam pointed out to #OldCraig that Thomas is the only providing for the kids at this time, & Naomie bascially told  him to butt-out.  Note to Craig, probably should mind his own business in this regard because it will not go over well.  Note to Thomas, next time try saying something along the lines of “Bye Kensie, I love you!  See you soon!”

I loved it when Chelsea said to Austen, “Thomas’ team won?  It’s rigged!”

Shep came back to town just in time to celebrate his 37th birthday.  Whitney gleefully dream-crushed Shep’s amorous pursuits of Chelsea by informing him that she went to the polo match with Austen.   Austen decided that Shep is on a need-to-know basis, & right now he doesn’t need to know.

Kathryn (FINALLY!) is back-ish!  She joined Craig for sober drinks to catch up.  He barely waited for Kathryn to sit down before telling her what a “bad parent” Thomas is & mentioned that Landon was his hostess for the Polo soiree.  Kathryn nailed Landon from the get-go.  Craig should not be inserting himself into Kathryn & Thomas’ mess.  Kathryn now has visitation twice a month with the kids, which is a major accomplishment!

To me this is when the show started bouncing all over the place.  Austen & Chelsea meet up for their date.  Austen is in LUV, while Chelsea wants to get down to the nitty gritty.  Chelsea is playing Shep.  Why the hell is Landon mad at Shep for him giving her feedback at her Feedback Party.  Landon says, “I’ve pretty much succeeded at everything I’ve done.”  Umm, not your marriage, not your blog, not pitching business ideas, not being a decent person, not asking your dad for money, & not having a conversation.

Naomie & Cameran go on a manicure date – I wish I could replace Naomie on this date.  I want to have girl time with Cam. They bitched about Craig’s recent behaivor, but Cameran did give her sound advice, “Don’t go easy on him [Craig] just because you love him.”

Shep got his birthday haircut from Chelsea.  He didn’t seem to love his reputation…  As much as I love Shep, I think he fairly earned his reputation.  I think any woman wanting to settle down would be trepidation around him.  However, I feel like this love triangle may be a bit overproduced & contrived…it’s less of a love triangle & more of a lust triangle.

At the boat party, Shep greeted all his guests.  Cam was ping-ponging fro Shep to Shep trying to rekindle their connection.  I loved Cameran’s tough love for Shep.  “You’re gonna be Thomas.  Do you want to be a 55yo man with no shoelaces?”

Landon & Shep clear the air.  Landon’s not over it.   I think she’s still butt hurt that Shep doesn’t love her.  Once again Landon took an opportunity to shade Kathryn, as usual, “Yes, we slept together & now I’m pregnant.”

That’s basically all I got from this episode.  It was a little too disjointed for my taste.

Favorite Tweets from the Night:  SC4E4.1SC4E4.2SC4E4.3SC4E4.4

What did you all think of Shep’s birthday party?  Do you think Craig & Landon are basically the same person – #OldCraig?  Do we like Chelsea?  Austen?  Them together?

The RHONY Recap will be up tonight – I promise to get back on schedule!

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Model Behavior

Y’all, I forgot how much I missed the Ba-Ba-Doo theme song!  As they always do, the episode started with the Charmers doing their morning things.  Austen ran ran along a river (???) with his hair floppin’ in the wind.  Landon rolled out of bed.  Thomas was already at the office complaining about bills – see the blue bloods are just like us blue collar folks.  What were those lime green glasses with dinosaur spots?  They can be seen from outer space.  eyes

Cameran & Chelsea met up at the gym to workout their skinny fat problems.  For one day in my life, I’d like to have skinny fat problems.  We do have proof that Cam does indeed live off gas station food, but somehow I think it’s more like once or twice during filming to “keep it real”.  Apparently Shep & Chelsea had a “PG” sleepover.  I’m not sure I buy that.  They are just havin’ fun y’all.

Craig & Landon meet up for a charcuterie plate…and to bitch about Shep.  Craig did mention that he & Naomie are working on a “charity thing”.  Landon advised us all that philanthropy is the way to be a socialite…like she knows.  The fact that Craig consistently called a Step & Repeat a Step & Release, shows that he has a long way to go.  #stepandrelease

Shep is at home packing for a trip for the weekend, & Naomie stopped by to pick up a silent auction item.  Naomie talked about Craig not knowing if a tsunami hit Haiti or an earthquake.  But, in the next breath told Shep not to talk badly about him…it was a little strange.  However, it was a constructive argument.  Shep is tough on his friends.

Life advice: if you can’t be honest in a friendship, then it’s a one-sided friendship (to your disadvantage) & you need to move on.

You guys, after texting with Mama J about who on this show has jobs, I realized that Craig & Landon (and Kathryn, but where is she?) are the only ones without jobs.  Yet, they complain about my Sheppy-Poo not working.  Let’s make a list, shall we?
Cameran – Realtor
Thomas – Realty Business Owner
Whitney – Producer
Austen – Beer Guy
Shep – Bar Owner
Kathryn – Jewelry Maker?
Craig – Gardener?  Investor in Gentry Bourbon?
Landon – gold digger Blogger

Moving on to Miss Patricia, she is heading out of town.  “You can never be over-educated or over-dressed.”  Whitney is dog sitting as Michael in on a much deserved vacay.

Meanwhile, Kathryn met with a potential modeling agency.  Why didn’t she wear makeup?  Kathryn, my friend, we both suffer from blonde eyelashes – NEVER leave home without mascara.  I love that Kathryn is self-reflective & openly shares her struggles with us.  This makes me love her even more.  #TeamKathryn

I feel like I say this every week, but Thomas speaking French to himself gives me the heebie-jeebies.  He is so disgusting.  Thomas thinks that if he had pursued an older woman, his life would be different.  DUH.  But, Thomas you don’t look at age appropriate women; quite frankly age appropriate women wouldn’t give him the time of day.

Landon swung by Thomas’ house for yet another charity event – a polo match.  Landon has always been annoying, but never have I thought she sounded more like a robot. Does she read cue cards?  Is she trying to remember her script? robot

Naomie has realized that #NewCraig is regressing back into #OldCraig.  He was such an ass this episode.  Does he still work for Gentry Bourbon?  Craig says that he reasons any worry out of his brain, thus he doesn’t get stressed.  Craig, dear, you have no problems as you have no responsibilities.  Craig then accused Shep of being an abusive husband; was he jealous that Naomie & Shep can have rational conversations?

Moving along, Austen, Thomas, Shep, & the most glorious mullet meet up for a Boys Night Out.  Mullet

We found out that Thomas & Shep, who are cousins, have a lot of cross pollination when it comes to women.  These guys are animals talking about their conquests. cross pollination

Shep & Austen make a good wing man duo, but this is all too weird – these are girls, not women.  The worst part was that these same girls moved on to Thomas once Shep left.  Even Whitney & Austen were skeeved out.  Let me remind you that most of this “bar trash” were celebrating a 21st birthday.Gross

Finally, we reach the night of the big silent auction.  Mr. Craig was so obnoxious; however, they were both super unprofessional during setup at the event.  “F you, no F you!”  Now, when Naomie speaks French = not gross.  Craig, learn to delegate. Naomie, you mean well, but Craig sees it as nagging.

In the only smart move Thomas has ever made regarding a woman, he opted not to attend the silent auction in case Kathryn was there.  He didn’t want to cause a scene.

What the hell was that belly dancing gold chain in Landon’s hair?  Chelsea looked hot in that green dress.  It’s episode 3, & we’ve now seen Bam twice.  That’s two too many.

We end the episode with Austen hitting on Chelsea & getting her number.

Favorite Tweets from the night: SC4E3.1SC4E3.2SC4E3.3SC4E3.4

What did y’all think of this episode?  I think this season has been a slow build so far, which means it’s going to get real good, real soon.

RHONY Recap will be up on Wednesday night.  I’ll also be posting a new playlist, my first one since Christmas, later this week.

Kiss Hug,

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WUW: March Edition

It’s that time of the month again…What’s Up Wednesday!  This is just a quick glimpse into my life; it’s a quick read, so I hope you enjoy!  wuw

The questions are: wuw-questions

What I’m eating this week…

This time of year I become obsessed with salads.  My favorite is my cucumber salad.  Cucumber Salad

Okay, so the staples in this salad are:
Cucumber – sliced & quartered
Cherry Tomatoes – halved
Feta Cheese – crumbled
Ranch dressing – I like Ken’s Lite dressing
Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing – I LOVE Ken’s Lite dressing
I use 2 parts Ranch to 1 part Balsamic Vinaigrette.
Additional Add-Ins:
Green Grapes – halved
Watermelon – Cubed
Toss together & enjoy!
I eyeball all of the proportions in this salad until it makes beautiful “salad art”!  In my world, all beautiful salads are called salad art!  My friend Lindsay started this phenomenon when we were in Palm Springs a decade or so ago.

What I’m reminiscing about…

No having mentioned Palm Springs…I’m dreaming of lazy days by the pool, drinking a pitcher of margarita, & playing Spite & Malice for hours.  Ah, those were the days.

What I’m loving…

Okay, so I finally broke down & started shaving my face.  It has changed my life!  My skin is soooo soft now; I also use less makeup because it goes on so much smoother.  I like these razors.  Be careful around your eyebrows…

What I’ve been up to…

Work (my real day job) has been crazy, CRAZY busy the last few weeks.  Literally, crazy until this last Monday – it has calmed considerably since some changes have been made – for the better I think.

What I’m dreading…

Luckily, I’m not dreading anything at the moment. 🙂

What I’m working on…

I am spring cleaning & purging my house right now! Spring Cleaning 1

What I’m excited about…

Y’all, I am finally getting a ceiling fan installed in my bedroom!  I’m so excited by this I can’t even adequately express my feelings about this.

What I’m watching/reading…

I’ve been mostly trying to clean off my DVR – I need to catch up on Feud, Scandal, & The Mindy Project.  I’ve been obsessed with The Kitchen lately…partially because I adore Katie Lee.  But, I am SUPER excited for #SouthernCharm & #RHONY to come back.  Check out my SC Cast Analysis here, & I’ll be posting the RHONY Cast Analysis later this week.

I’m totally loving the The Boeskool Blog lately.  He spot on every time, & so well written.  theboeskool.com

What I’m listening to…

I’ve started listening to a few new podcasts:
RESIST Podcast
The Pretty Mean Podcast – I respond to their conversations in the car.
See Something Say Something

What I’m wearing…

Now that it’s officially Spring, I am pulling the maxi dresses back out to play. 🙂  I love maxi dresses, they are basically yoga pants that you can wear to the office.  Spring Staple

I live in outfits similar to this.

What I’m doing this weekend…

Friday: ceiling fan installation & spring cleaning, & purging my closet
Saturday: planting new succulents & fuchsias in my vertical garden
Sunday: brunch with Brigitte, hair washing day, & prepping for the week

What I’m looking forward to next month…

The last weekend in April is the Red Poppy Festival in Georgetown.  I look forward to going to this every year.  Despite Georgetown growing from 30,000 people (when I lived there) to 80,000 now – it still has maintained its small town charm.  Poppy Fest

What else is new…

I’m contemplating a girl’s trip to Belize this summer, but I also kind of want to just go somewhere on my own.  We’ll see how that plays out.  Any suggestions?

Bonus Question: What is my favorite Spring wardrobe piece?

Flip flops are my favorite warm weather staple!!!!  I love flip flops so much that Mama J had to implement a no flip-flop rule if it was less than 50° outside when I was in high school.  These are my favorite of all time. Ecote

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm: Updated Cast Analysis

Southern Charm Cast
Heavens to Betsy!  By now, most of you know that Southern Charm is my GOAT of the Bravo shows.  I can’t adequately express my love for this show & most of the cast.  Season 4 premiers on April 3rd, but here are few facts if you’re tuning in for the first time, & also the trailer for the upcoming season!  I’m so excited!!!  This is my excited dance. Excitement Dance

Austen:

Okay, so Austen looks like the lovechild of Craig & Shep; from the previews it looks like he may be an “Old Craig” from Season 2 kind of bro.  I do somewhat enjoy that his name spelled wrong like Jane Austen’s…  Based on Bravo’s website, we know that Shep brought him into the group…looks like that friendship may be going south.  He also loves to travel, because who doesn’t, right?  He works for a local brewery, which I think is how he met Shep???  Austen likes football, Phish, blah, blah, blah.  Austin Kroll

Cameran:

Now, our beloved Cameran was my favorite until Season 3.  She is beautiful as always, but she sat at the Mean Girls table last season; if the Season 4 trailer & Kathryn’s interviews are to be believed, then she has come back to being sweetly narky – not ugly snarky.  There is a difference y’all.  Last season she struggled with her indecision to have a baby, but this season she has thrown out her birth control…  Cam also has a super fun IG, so check that out.Cameran

Craig:

Last season Craig seemed to clean up his act & became known as “New Craig.”  I’m not convinced that it will last, but we shall see.  I believe he has finally passed the Bar, so that is exciting.  I really appreciated that Craig was the only one to defend Kathryn last season; not only that, but he also dropped multiple truth bombs all season long…looking forward of more of that.  Looks like Craig’s wrath will be directed at Shep this season…he thinks Shep is jealous or something.  Southern Charm - Season 4

Kathryn:

I know this may be controversial, but I am ride-or-die for Kathryn, especially when to it comes to her vs. Landon.  However, I’m not afraid to call her on her shit when the occasion calls for it…in my recaps, of course.  Of the cast, Kathryn seems receptive to constructive criticism & can admit when she’s wrong.  Her confessional one-liners are to die for.  Do I want her to be with Thomas – absolutely not, she can do better!  Do I want her to figure herself out – DUH.  I loved when she & Whitney hugged it out on last season’s reunion.  Hope that frosty water stays under the bridge.  My hope for Kathryn this season is that she can rise above the fray, & by fray I mean T-Rav & Blandon.Kathryn

Landon:

Ugh, BLandon.  Not only does she have the most annoying whiny voice on earth, but I think she gets off on being mean.  She clearly has a thing for stealing men from other women, no job with no hopes of getting one, & she’s a gold digger.  Her “travel blog” is no closer to being up & running than it was last season.  You can’t even google the blog – the only thing that shows up is the article from Reality Tea saying it hasn’t made it off the ground yet.  Cue the dolphin laughs eye rolls around the world.  Landon

Shep:

Okay, so we all know my love for Shepard.  He can do no wrong…except he’s always cheating on me.  Joking, joking…  The trailer leads us to believe, which I do, that Shep is still the endearing party boy we all know & love.  However, if his IG is to be believed, he’s a pretty savvy business guy too & takes cool vacations.  Just doing my research…  He convinced me to order a cap from Shep Gear.  Didn’t need the cap, but I ordered it.  In my delusional mind, he handmade the it just for me.  My love note must have gotten lost int he mail…  The only smudge on my affection for Shep is that he has recently become chummy with Jax Taylor from Vanderpump Rules.  With the exclusion of last week’s episode (flights for Schwartz-y’s brothers), Jax leaves a lot to be desired as a decent human.  Be careful Shep, Jax will sleep with your lady… Southern Charm - Season 4

Thomas:

I think T-Rav is super creepy…borderline pedophile.  I really have a hard time deciding who I dislike more: Thomas or Landon.  Last season, in the beginning, I thought Kathryn & Thomas deserved each other – crazy attracts crazy & all, but Landon & Thomas can have each other & hopefully disappear from my TV.  Thomas has a clear case of age but zero wisdom, maybe it was all the cocaine he does did.  I think he is a disgusting excuse for a man & father, & I wouldn’t be shocked if he set Kathryn up somehow in their ongoing custody battle.  He is the ultimate Tool McDouche Schnozzle. Southern Charm - Season 4

It looks like Whitney will officially be behind the scenes this season; however, Miss Patricia will be back to disparage Kathryn while sipping Michael’s perfect martini.

Are y’all excited for the season to start in a couple weeks?  Are you ready for all my Southern sayings to come out?  Agree or disagree, but please leave it in the comments – I love the interaction.

This spring I promise to stay caught up on recapping Southern Charm (starts April 3rd), RHONY (starts April 5th), & The Bachelorette (starts May 22nd).

Kiss Hug,

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Bachelor Recap: The End

Y’all, I’ve been so bad!  SorryI took an impromptu break from recapping The Bachelor.  It inadvertently coincided with the announcement of Rachel as the next Bachelorette, which I’m so thrilled about.  However, once she left the show I knew Vanessa was the shew-in for the final rose; oddly enough, it didn’t hurt my feelings that Rachel was announced so early.

On the other hand, I got so bored with Nick’s season.  I felt like he was kind of producing as he went along, being that he is a veteran in the Bachelor community.  Y’all know my love/hate relationship with the show.  Once they’ve been on The Bachelor/ette & BIP, they’ve run their course & I’m done with them.

Another grievance I have with the show, ahem Mike Fleiss ahem, is that the show seems to be going more towards competing with UnREAL in the drama department & I am so not into that.  Love UnREAL & I love the Bachelor, but I want a separation of church & state.  I’m miss the good ol’ days of Andrew Firestone, Brad Womack, Emily Maynard, & Jillian Harris.  They actually seemed to be in it to find love.  Yes, I said Brad Womack & I mean it…both his seasons.  I actually wouldn’t mind if he came back for a third season – he’s so pretty!  Somewhere I have a picture of me with Brad, & his twin Chad, outside Manuel’s on South Congress in Austin.  Swoon – they are beautiful!  Swoon

All this to say, I will be back recapping soon with Southern Charm (my GOAT), RHONY, & The Bachelorette!  Within the next week, I will update my #SoutherCharm Cast Analysis, which you can read here.  In case you’re wondering -& I know you are – I still have the hots for Shep Rose. Shep

Keep checking back for new content…I swear I will be better!

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Jenn for the Win!

The reunion picked up right where we left off with Kathryn leaving the set.  Naturally, I blame Landon.  It was absolutely below the belt for Landon to bring up the custody battle & drug test, which by the way is not apart of the show.  Landon sure is acting the bitter current wife towards the ex…  I honestly think Kathryn just needed a moment to collect herself.

Apparently Thomas did not get the same hair drug test as Kathryn.  I 100% do not believe that Thomas would be able to pass a drug test that goes back 6 months.  See his dinner party from Hell; you can not tell me that that wasn’t on a drug fueled rage as Whitney would say.  We also learn the Kathryn’s main issue with Thomas is his lack of child support.  I will say that he does pay her rent, but I’m sure two children are expensive.  I have no children & I’m expensive; I couldn’t imagine trying to support any dependents on my own.  I think it boils down to Thomas not meeting the expectations that he set forth with Kathryn.  Kathryn did say that she has a few business endeavors that she is pursuing, so I guess her SC salary is going towards the startup?  Landon, Miss Fails at Life, had the nerve to mock Kathryn’s necklace/business while wearing the most hideous earrings ever created.  Seriously, what is wrong with her – other than being a BIG TIME BITCH?!?!  Big time bitch

On to the Polo Match… Kathryn’s meltdown was a result of the pirate porn star that Thomas was running around with.  Due to the pirate’s blatant drug use, etc. she didn’t want Kensie around that.  Rational thought, case closed.  Does anyone else feel like Craig is Kathryn’s lawyer/PR guy at this reunion?  Despite JD & Landon’s assertions to the contrary, Thomas does not think that Kathryn created any pregnancy issues for his attention, money, or sympathy.  Me when Landon speaks:Every time Landon talks.gif

Thomas reveals that he has done a 180 in his opinion of Jennifer because she is pregnant with a special needs child.  My opinion has changed as well, but for totally different reasons.  A few blogs back, I totally thought she was meddling in Kathryn’s relationship & wasn’t very kind; however, I now realize that Jenn & Coop were the only ones looking out for her.  Jenn is a delight!  The cast has decided that Thomas & Kathryn are the modern day Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell…that might be a stretch.  But if Kensie develops a line of athletic wear, TRav & Kathryn will never have to work again! #upsidetonevergettinghitched

Jennifer joined the group in defense of Kathryn.  YEA!  Andy asked about the father of her baby, Jenn coyly said he was excited.  Andy then asked if it was Thomas – y’all Mama J actually thought TRav was the baby daddy.  Kathryn has been a huge support for Jennifer during her pregnancy.  Jennifer kept it classy, & only said that she did nothing while T & K were together, & did not reveal if she has slept with any man.  Immaculate conception?  Shep asked why Jenn & Kat can be friends but not with Landon.  Jennifer said that Landon antagonizes Kathryn intentionally by flaunting her relationship friendship with Thomas on social media.  Cameran had it right when she said that if they are not dating, then Landon doesn’t need to sensor herself.  Jennifer became emotional when the cast said that she was wrongly villain-ized.  Oddly, Landon seemed to be on the verge of tears along with Jennifer.

Back from the commercial, the focus moved onto Whitney.  He admitted that he primarily lives in Los Angeles.  He & Larissa are on a break.  Surprisingly, Kathryn chimed in saying that Larissa was really sweet & good for Whitney.  Thomas & Whitney also take breaks when T & K are together.

Thomas admitted that the dinner party from Hell was in reaction to Julien’s “questionable” paternity.  It was so obvious that Kathryn was trying to finish their conversation when Thomas crawled out the window.  Landon didn’t seem to understand this & unrelentingly brought it up over & over.  Cameran, adult that she is, admitted that she can come off sanctimonious & that perhaps she has some personal growth to do.  A win for adulting!  On the opposite end of the spectrum, Landon cannot fathom that she needs any self-improvement.  Shep is the obvious winner of this dinner party – if mailbox money exists, I want to get in on that.  Cameran said that Thomas was having a nervous breakdown.  I think that is code for a drug fueled rage.  Thomas did concede that he was raised better than that, as most Southerners are.

Oddly, the sanctimonious one, Cameran, accidentally hosted a Girls Gone Wild while she was on the Real World.  It was also revealed that Landon was almost on The Hills but ultimately she didn’t want to be manipulated by reality producers.  Andy snarked that it was scripted.

Andy moved on to ask Kathryn why Thomas’ relationship with Landon bothers her so much.  Cameran interrupted to tell Kathryn that she is too reactionary…how is Landon not reactionary as well?  Jekyll Island came up, which set Kathryn off.  Andy chimed in to tell Landon to shut it or he’ll murder himself.  That’s how we all feel, Andy.

Moving on to the Founder’s Ball, Craig wondered exactly why there is so much animosity between K & L?  Kathryn has been told by many spies sources that Landon & Thomas slept together.  She cannot accept the lying about said indiscretions.  Whitney, Shep, & Cameran think that Thomas can’t keep a secret & TRav would’ve admitted it by now.  Craig & Shep on WWHL intimated that something could have happened in London.  I want the truth

At the end of the Ball, Landon’s friend Robyn asked Shep when he thought Landon would admit to sleeping with Thomas?  Y’all, I totally believe Robyn.  She had her back to the cameras & didn’t realize they were filming.  Mic drop.  If she wanted her 15 minutes of fame, as Landon claims, she would have been comically obvious about it…just sayin’.  Landon & Thomas maintain their lackluster innocence.Liars

Shocker of all SHOCKERS – Whitney & Kathryn hugged it out during a commercial break.  Is there a truce in our midst?!?!

A few remaining observations from the reunion… Were Cameran’s eyelashes falling off or something?  Lots of blinking going on.  Why was Shep’s birthday party glossed over?  I wish Kathryn was more eloquent; I think it’ll come with age. Was Landon intentionally lowering her voice?  On Social Media, Landon intimated that she would be vindicated, but only succeeded in gaining more hate mail.  Landon The only person who got vindicated at this reunion was Jennifer Snowden.  By the end of the reunion, even Whitney seemed fed up with Landon’s unrelenting attacks on Kathryn.  Whitney

I feel like if Kathryn, Cameran, Landon, Naomie, Danni, Jennifer, & Elizabeth took a Girl’s Trip to Dollywood then all would be right in their world.

Favorite Tweets of the night:  SCR2.1SCR2.2SCR2.3SCR2.4SCR2.5SCR2.6

This was exhausting, but a great season.  I still love Shep.

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: TRav is a Patty Loveless Song

Y’all this will be a relatively short recap, as Reunions rarely offer up new information.  Of course, leave it to Kathryn to ruin that theory…

Here are my thoughts from last night:

  1. Cameran looked beautiful!  She is never completely on trend, but is always stunning regardless. Landon looked like a raisin in the sun/beef jerky/a piece of leather with dream catcher earrings.  She went WAY too far on the spray tan.  Anyone on TV should know that too much spray tan ages you…just ask Whitney, he knows.  Do you think she’s hiding her lies in those earrings?  Kathryn thought she was at the Renaissance Fair or a Victorian photo booth at an amusement park.  Kathryn
  2. Kathryn is so obviously younger than the rest of the Charmers, which is not an insult.  She just has NO poker face – her expressions last night had me laughing so hard.  Y’all she acts like the 24-year-old that she is.  Take her children out of the equation, & she’s a typical young twenty-something.  I was that reckless at that age.  I get that Cam doesn’t want that drama in her life, or coffee breath, but Kathryn so obviously needed a friendly face.
  3. Kathryn was spot on when she asked the bunch how they behaved at 21 – the camera panned over to Cameran (deer in the headlights) reminding us all that she was on Real World in her early 20’s making out with other girls on national TV.  Fun stuff.
  4. My beautiful Sheppy-Poo is a fun-loving, man-whore, but in the most endearing way possible.  The mushrooms/wiffle ball story was amazing.  Shep always puts a smile on my face & in my heart.  As Cameran would say, I ❤ Shep.   SHep
  5. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again.  This is all TRav’s fault.  He reminds me of the Patty Loveless song, “Blame It On Your Heart.”  Blame It On Your Heart  He is playing Kathryn & Landon for fools…and they fall for it, which is the worst part.  Come on ladies, you’re better than this!!!Patty Loveless
  6. Once again, Whitney’s reaction to Kathryn’s, very detailed, account of their “relationship” was disproportionate for someone who gives zero fucks.  Kathryn even said that she has nothing to gain from sharing this as it has tarnished her reputation (even more) & she has been dragged through the mud.  I believe Kathryn 100%. #TeamKathryn  She had nothing to gain by sharing this info.
  7. I don’t think #NewCriag or #OldCraig will ever be a man of the law.  Who knew you had to write a thesis to graduate Law School.
  8. What about Kathryn’s bombshell that Thomas took Landon on the Valentine trip that they had planned for each other?  Best part of the night…the devastated look on Landon’s face at that little nugget was the only time she seemed contrite.
  9. I thought Landon was a real piece of shit for bringing up Kathryn’s drug test.  It was totally unnecessary & none of her business.
  10. What was with Whitney’s super creepy, Alfred Hitchcock, smile throughout the Reunion?  It gave me the heebie jeebies.  creepy smile

Side Note: I have a theory about Cameran’s blind allegiance to Whitney.  She is his realtor.  Think about it – she sold him his first loft/house/whatever on Season 1.  He has had a different residence each season; she is obviously trying to keep a past, present, & future client in Whitney.  It also doesn’t hurt that he is the EP of the show.  Just something to ponder…

Favorite Tweets from the night:  SCR1.1SCR1.2SCR1.3SCR1.4SCR1.5SCR1.6SCR1.7

What did y’all think of the reunion?

My Bachelorette Recap will be up later today.  I’m undecided about posting a RHONY Recap this week, but will definitely live Tweet it.  I am having a #staycation the rest of the week, which basically entails me lounging by the pool, reading, & drinking margaritas.

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: Wait What?!?!

The season finale picked up right where we left off last week.  The “insulted ones” made their great golf cart escape & headed over to Landon’s for some pizza & to drunkenly recap.  You can’t have unraveled without a Ravenel.  Shep said that he didn’t fight TRav because he hated to pay for dry cleaning…samesies.  Craig & Shep both claimed that Landon was a part of the problem, which she squeakily denied.  Side note: I’m slightly appalled that her voice can reach a Mariah Carey high decibel…it truly defies human nature, gravity, & all that.  Back at TRav’s house Thomas said the funniest thing when he asked Cooper if reptiles had vertebrae.  Do they?  Kathryn clumsily tried to quote Tennessee Williams & spent the night at Thomas’.

The next morning dawned bright & clear, without a care in the world, & then the Charmers woke up…  Landon hit snooze 87 times (the only thing we have in common), Whitney juiced, Shep chose shirts for his dive bars.  Where can I get a t-shirt?  I want to support my boyfriend.  After discussing it with JD, Craig went from full-time employee to part-time with JD’s blessing, to focus on studying for the Bar. #abouttime  Across town, Cameran met with her therapist.  Her homework was to make a Pro/Con List about having a baby; Jason hijacked the assignment & “really opened Cam’s eyes” nice & wide.  As usual, Cam’s issues stem from her childhood – doesn’t everyone’s?  Jason has essentially made Cameran consider children sooner rather than later…maybe.  She still seems scared to me.babies

Sheppy-Poo met with Landon at The Commodore, his newest dive bar endeavor, to basically tell her the he’s just not that into her. #duh  I’m not convinced that Shep should have that beard.  I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.  You guys, I swear Trump & Landon have the same eyes.  Over at Craig & Nomi’s house, she modeled Founder’s Ball options for him.  She looks hot – Craig is a lucky dude.  He then broke the dramatic news that he took a step back from Gentry to focus on the Law.  Craig hemmed & hawed until finally Naomie told him to spit it out, but she ultimately was very supportive.  They are super cute lovesluts!  Her best line of the night was, “I’m wearing a helmet,” to news that T & K would be in attendance at the Ball.

Later that night, Whitney & JD had HH with Thomas to box his ears…aka talk some sense into him.  TRav basically blamed his outburst on the stress of having two kids at 50+ years of age.  Really?  REALLY?  How about you were shitfaced & high as a kite?  They basically told him to fix it.  TRav then quoted Michael Jackson…is that really a legit quotable source?TRAV

Next morning, Kathryn dropped the kiddos off at Thomas’ house – he finally got that play date he was after, or rather Dawn got to have a play date with the munchkins.  We head over to Patricia’s humble abode to find her sleeping with a face transplanting machine hooked up to her while she napped.  In all seriousness, where can I get one?  Shep, Craig, & JD are being groomed at the man-spa & the beard is gone. #hallelujah  A makeup artist arrived at Landon’s to transform her to Patricia’s specifications…too bad it didn’t help her ugly black heart personality.  Kathryn & TRav decided to attend the Founder’s Ball together.  Whitney showed up at his mom’s during mid-transplant; we learned that it was her oxygen rejuvenating therapy – aka making sure her face lift stays in place.

Back at the man-spa, Shep revealed that Thomas “textologized” (text + apologize) to him.  He made a good point when he said that TRav was attacking the girls, so Sheppy felt he had to intervene.  Craig agreed.  Meanwhile at Landon’s, she apparently is still harboring hope that Shep really does love her & this makeover will snag him.  Girl, get a ticket to the clue bus.  Over at TRav’s, Kathryn reminded Thomas that Landon changed the tone of the dinner party, asked Cooper to meet all his rich friends, etc.  Y’all, I think Kathryn smells a gold digger…she would know.  Am I right?  KDen pretty much gave Thomas an ultimatum, to which Thomas agreed as way to placate her.  He’s total scum.  liar.gif

After the commercial break, we get to see the Charmers putting on their final touches & attire for the Founder’s Ball.  Landon heads over to Patricia’s to borrow fur, diamonds, & Dior.  Pat had many a back-handed compliments for Landon.  Did the Purple People Eater swallow her?!?!  Over at Ravenel Manor, Little Red Riding Hood Kathryn glided down the stairs, a la She’s All That, & pre-drank with Thomas to loosen up.  Did they drink Gentry Bourbon?

Finally!  We arrived at the Ball.  Whitney tried to hook Landon up with one of his friends.  I secretly think they would perfect for each other.  Craig & Naomie arrived, & Naomie looked smokin’ HOTT!  Shep brought Landon’s friend, Robyn, as his date (matching no less!), Landon cried, & I silently cheered in my head a little bit.  ughDoes that make me a horrible person?  I think Cameran & Danni were each other’s dates?  Did anyone else notice that Kathryn referred to herself as TRav’s girlfriend in the limo?

Once the Hot Mess Express arrived to the ball things got really interesting.  I now have new-found respect for Jennifer Snowden.  She hit the nail on the head when talking about Thomas’ involvement with Kathryn’s cold shoulder treatment.  I take back everything I said earlier in the season.  Thomas made an obvious beeline straight for Old Squinty Eyes (Landon, obvi.) once KDen parked herself at a table, which was so blatantly obvious & no one missed it.  Kathryn then made the first move by pulling Landon aside to hash out their issues – very mature of her.  OSE ruined the moment by claiming she couldn’t hear Kathryn – it was really loud, so I’ll give her that one.  KDen’s reaction was a bit more dramatic than the situation warranted.  It’s never going to be pleasant when the convo starts with, “This isn’t going to be a mean conversation.”  I don’t think Kathryn can handle Landon’s nails on the chalkboard voice, so her hyperventilating/screeching immediately pissed her off.  Landon ran off to tattle to Thomas that Kathryn was being a big meanie head.  Poor Danni got stuck in the middle, literally.  Nomi & Jenn’s faces when Landon said she was afraid of Kathryn gave me LIFE!  Nomi

As usual, Thomas was absolutely no help to anyone & stood there like a moron.  Shep & Craig had to intervene in the attempt to resurrect the night.  Landon’s voice is too much when she is calm & collected, but when she gets agitated it is unbearable, not to mention at a decibel only dogs can hear.  Wasn’t Landon’s Cheshire cat smile so eerie & creepy?  The finale ended with Shep’s date saying, “Do you think Landon’s going to admit that she slept with Thomas?”  Last line was Shep, after a shocked pause, saying, “What?”  BEST. FINALE. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tweets from the night:  12.112.212.312.412.512.612.712.812.912.10

What did y’all think of the finale?  I thought this whole season knocked it out of the park!

I’ll see you back here for #TheBachelorette Recap on Tuesday & a #RHONY Recap on Wednesday.  BREAKING NEWS: My new DVR did not record The Bachelorette, so I’ll have to figure out OnDemand…

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: the Wrath of TRav

First off I want to apologize for being a bit absent on the blog front last week.  I work a full time job & babysit to earn extra fun money & I never turn down an opportunity to earn extra moo-la.  I was house sitting/dog sitting & there was bad reception.  😦  Therefore, blogging sometimes takes a back seat…unless someone would like to start paying me for this blog?  Bueller?  Bueller?

On to our episode…it was the highly anticipated TRav dinner party from Hell.  Let me tell you, it did not disappoint!

Whitney gave Mama P a new pug puppy – so cute!  Did anyone else recall the scene from Friends, with Phoebe & the pug? phoebe

Thomas confronted JD on the paternity questioning – for once Thomas was 100% right.  JD should be a better friend than that. He should know that a dinner party was not the right time or place, especially considering how much hate Whitney & Patricia have for Kathryn. #notcoolbro  This time Thomas decides he’s going to host the party to celebrate Julien’s birth.  Meanwhile, Landon stops by Bam’s house to get naked wasted.  Bam’s has some good advice for her big sis & some not so good advice.  Good: get a real job & earn a steady paycheck like a normal person.  Bad: get drunk & bang Shep to see if he loves her back.  Shep has a similar convo with Cameran, but she adamantly says that he should not shove her in a closet for heavy petting.  Bam

TRav headed over to Kathryn’s to discuss the party guest list.  Whitney & Ms. Pat are not invited because they have been ugly to Kathryn, She mentally cheers!  But, Landon already has her monogrammed invitation sent by courier pigeons.  Thomas thinks Blandon & KDen should be BFF & need to move past their issues.  Kathryn is maintains that she is not fluent in dolphin, & therefore it is never gonna happen.  KDen refuses to go to the party if Landon is going to be there, which turns Thomas into T-Rex.  He storms out the window, yes the window.  You read that correctly.  This was just so absurd to me.  Kathryn calmly (for her) talked TRav off the ledge (roof? bush?) & back into the room.  What floor were they on?  Kathryn maturely capitulates to TRav’s wishes & says Landon can come.

There was a boring part here…my boyfriend Shep wasn’t on the screen so I played Spite & Malice on my phone.  Oh, but Landon was invited to Patricia’s for her condolences for Shep’s lack of requited love.  Pat then offered Thomas up a backup.  My favortie line that Landon has ever uttered, “Being sexy makes me uncomfortable.”  Side bar: I would watch an entire show of Patricia giving True Southern Debutantes makeovers, starting with Landon.

Shepperoni’s mom is the best!  He was a jerk for making her face the sun during lunch, but I’m going to pretend it was so they both could enjoy the view.  Shep seems to still be baffled, dare I say appalled, by Landon’s confession of love.  I will be so upset if they end up together.  Sheppy – the love of your life resides in Texas. #callme  Shephard’s mom, Mama Fran, gave him solid advice & said to not to rush or force anything.  She’s happy if he’s happy. #aww #kisshug

Now for the good stuff, Thomas’ dinner party.  He gave tours of the house – once again Kensie’s periwinkle room is the least periwinkle ever.  Kathryn basically avoids everyone but Elizabeth.  At this point, wasn’t Julien only a few weeks old?  Why was she smoking?  They all sit down to dinner, but of course Thomas being Thomas, he had to make a speech before dinner could be served.  Y’all the head swivels were like a tennis match & it. was. awesome.  He referred to himself in third person, which Sheppy hilariously pointed out.  Kathryn received praise for birthing his children.  Cameran was called out for being self-righteous, judgmental, & sanctimonious.  Next Craig got scolded for being a phony.  Loved when Craig said, “Let’s not come to me.”  Shep interrupted again, which quickly turned the roast speech to him.  Thomas calls him out for sleeping with all of Charleston when he could have Landon anytime he wanted.  Landon giggled like a dolphin, so then TRav called her vindictive towards Kathryn.  He wasn’t wrong on that one.  Shep jumps back into the fray accusing Thomas of stirring it up between Landon & Kathryn.  He wasn’t wrong on that one either.  I believe Thomas called Shep a pussy, to which he replied “You are what you eat, right?”  So gross, but so funny.  My favorite part was when Cooper, arguably the smallest man there, kept trying to restore a modicum of decency & civility.  You can’t tame the beast.

My only question remaining is did the entire party get roasted, or only the Charmers?

Favorite tweets from the night:  SC - Week 11.1SC - Week 11.2SC - Week 11.3SC - Week 11.4SC - Week 11.5

I’ll be live tweeting RHONY in just a few short hours & the blog will be up in the morning.

Kiss Hug,

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Southern Charm Recap: #OldCraig is Back?

Y’all, to be honest I was flipping back & forth between Southern Charm & The Bachelorette.  Watched the first hour of JoJo, then flipped over to SC, & then back to Crazy Chad.  I knew Kathryn’s baby wouldn’t come until the end & that the rest of the episode would be fairly lame tame.

A few things stood out to me:

  1. Craig’s work ethic seems to be taking a longer vacation than his trip to LA.
  2. Cameran totally set Landon up to fail regarding confessing her love for Shep, which will make amazing TV.
  3. Whitney & Larissa still have no chemistry.
  4. JD’s laugh is still creepy.
  5. RIP to Shep’s grandpa.  I bet the stars looked a little different that day.
  6. I worry about the Charmers always mixing their alcohol.  “Liquor before beer in the clear.  Beer before liquor never been sicker.”  DUH.

Here are my favorite Tweets of the night:  SC- Week 9.1SC - Week 9.2SC - Week 9.3

I promise to do better next week!

I’ll have #TheBachelorette recap/tweets up tomorrow.  Warning: It will be similar to this recap as there are still so many guys & I keep asking who Derek is.

Kiss Hug,

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