The Bachelorette: Karma is Karma

So, I made the tragic mistake of watching Episode 2 right before Episode 3, & they are running together in my head!  I can’t remember what happened on which date, so hang in there with me.

First Date: Wills, Jason, Jordan, David, Jean Blanc, Colton

The guys gave Becca & her girlfriends some pampering at the least spa-like spa I’ve ever seen.  Do you think the real spa was going through a renovation & so they filmed in the holding room for all the chairs?  Did they spend this episode’s budget on Richard Mark & the rights to Right Here Waiting?

So, Tia & Colton know each other & it’s super awkward.  Becca, clearly uncomfortable, addressed the issue with Tia almost immediately.  I loved that TinkerBekah asked if Colton though Tia was going to be The Bachelorette.  Ouch.  Becca basically wanted to know if they slept together, & according to both parties they did not.  Colton is back in Becca’s top 4 now.  Too bad she forgot Jason, I mean Joel Maisel, I mean Jason’s name.

Tell me these aren’t the same guy.

I’m betting some of these people will once again get the chance to paint each other’s nails in Paradise.

At the evening portion of the date, Jordan had some real quotable gems.

“He’s a dried up chicken.” – talking about David (the Chicken).

“You’re a skeleton of a man.” – speaking to David.  Jordan, I think you meant shell.

“Karma is Karma.” – referring to David tattling (cardinal sin) to Becca about Jordan’s 4,000 Tinder matches.

Let’s discuss the Tinder thing for a sec…
4,000 Tinder matches / 365 days per year = 10.958 matches per day
4,000 Tinder matches / 52 weeks per year = 76.923 matches per week
That’s a lot of time spent swiping right.  “Modeling” might be his career, but Jordan Tinders like it is his job.

Back to the quotes…

“You are something I would like to see myself next to.” – talking to Becca.  Jordan, that’s not how you speak to women.

“Attached to me is professionality.  It’s in the way I walk; it’s in the way I talk.  Okay?  If you want to try and wreck my image, you’ll never succeed.  And, you want to know why? Because my image is me.  Hey — cheers to you being a bitch.” – once again fighting with David.

Wills is all of us.
Wills

The best part of this entire group date was the reactions to the various Jordan/David arguments from Jason & Wills. Wills & Jason

Colton reconfirmed that he is here for Becca & didn’t sleep with Tia, so naturally they madeout a few times & he got the group date rose.

Second Date: Chris

They go to Capitol Records where Richard Marx was right there waiting for them.  Y’all they totally didn’t know who he was, right?  Also, has Richard had some work done???  Richard Marx

PS – what is Becca wearing?  That look is not cute, girl.

This date was kinda lame.  They had to write a song.  Chris’ daddy issues bubbled to the surface.  I don’t think Becca is that into him, I just can’t get past his similarity to Chandler Bing’s roommate with the goldfish.

Chris got the sympathy rose.

Meanwhile back at the house, we are greeted with lots of blood…David’s blood to be exact.  We see him being gurney’d out of the house.  Chris Harrison informs us all, including Becca, that David fell off the top bunk, face first on the tile floor, & that he is in ICU.  To be fair, top bunks suck & face wounds always bleed a lot.  Bunk beds

Third Date: Clay, Leo, Christon, Ryan, John, Garrett, Mike, Lincoln, Connor, & Blake

Football.  Lincoln sucks at drills & kinda cheats his way through them just like he did on the obstacle course from last week.  Clay, being the only player on his team, injures his wrist tying up the game.  I don’t quite understand how he did this, but he too had to be taken to the hospital  in an ambulance.

Two ambulances in one episode?  Mike Fleiss must have had such a hard-on.

Clay managed to get his wrist in a sling & headed back to the group date, which ultimately got him the rose.

Cocktail Party: Clay told Becca that he needs to have surgery on his wrist, & has to leave because his football “career” takes care of him & his entire family.  Que the convulsing ovaries heard ’round Bachelor Nation.  I suspect we’ll see this gentle giant again.

Favorite Tweets from the night: BSE3.1BSE3.2BSE3.3

My favorite part from the previews for next week is when David returns, just in the nick of time for the Rose Ceremony, with his face blurred out.  Jordan eloquently points out that David “looks like a chicken that crossed the road & got hit by a bus.”

What did y’all think of the episode?  Are we tired of Jordan yet?  I still enjoy laughing at him.  I suspect David & Jordan will e on the 2-on-1 date in two-ish weeks.

Until next time…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Retire the “Damn Thing”

BeccaLet me start this recap by saying a few things:

  1. I really struggled with wanting to recap this season because I have not forgiven Mike Fleiss & ABC for basically turning Arie’s breakup with Becca into a #MeToo moment.  They handled it so poorly.  Did they steal the idea from UnREAL?
  2. Was it just me, or did they release the men’s bios really late?
  3. My mom got married Sunday, so I didn’t have the time to look at the bios beforehand, but I’ve listened to the Popcast, Here to Make Friends, & Will You Accept This Rose podcasts analyze the guys.  I feel like I have pretty good handle on the situation.  All of these podcasts have fantastic recaps as well, so you should definitely listen – after you read this of course.
  4. Garrett is this season’s Lee from Rachel’s Season…at least he is in real life.  He has deleted his IG account, but checkout this article.  He’s a real gem.  Racist.  Homophobic. Anti-women. I could go on and on.  Thank you to Ashley Spivey, Claire Fallon, & Emma Gray for keeping us informed!

With that said, I’m here for y’all, & I’m here for Becca.  She did nothing wrong last season, except saying “Let’s do the damn thing” twice.  We can now retire that saying.  I love Becca and hope her season is everything Arie’s wasn’t.  I will now never say the A-word again.

Limo One:
Colton: I love confetti.  I love a blonde with brown eyes.  Colton is definitely one to watch.
Grant: He is cute!  Love his dimples.  Grant looks like Matt Damon & Jason Bateman had a love child. Grant's LovechildClay: seems like a gentle giant.
Jean Blanc: He said “let’s do the damn thing” in French, who knew it could be worse?
Conner: He pulled Becca’s move from last season.  Conner looks like Dean & Juan Pablo had a love child. Conner's Lovechild

These guys were nervous.

Limo Two:
Joe: I love Joe!  He looks just like someone I went to school with; Dustin S. is that you???
John: The token Asian, but he is impressive.  I have him to thank for Venmo.
Leo: He has Alex the Russian’s face & Jason Mamoa’s hair.Leo's LovechildJordan: Seems like a Tool McDouche Nugget of the highest order.  You can see his dick through his pants, eww.
Rickey: He’s into grammar & adjectives.  I kind of love that.

Limo Three:
Alex: He’s much cuter in person; he brought a jar for all his roses.  I’m not sure what to make of that.
Nick: He arrived in a race car driver outfit (uniform?), then stripped it off to reveal his suit.  I’m undecided on him.
Mike: He brought the A-word in cut-out form.  Can we burn it?
Garrett: He drove up in a minivan; Garrett looks like Becca’s ex, Ross.  She’s totally loving him.  For all I know about him, he is very smooth & think he is Final Four, if not the One. Becca's Ex

Limo Four:
Blake: He road up on an ox this time? His feelings are “as strong as an ox.”  Is this okay?
Lincoln: Brought cake for his birthday?  I’m not even going to mention the awful story circulating about him right now…
Chase: He said “it’s all about the chase.”  Barf.
Darius: I missed his entrance somehow, but he went home…
Ryan: Is he wearing drapery as a jacket?  I love Ryan!

Limo Five:
Christon: He is tall, dark, & handsome.  He dunked over Becca, which was so cool.
Wills: Claims to be a closeted nerd; is that code for something else?  Is he Lincoln’s twin? TwinsiesJason: Gave Becca a secret handshake.  Jason looks like the husband from the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. JasonKamil: I don’t like the way he speaks to her.  Is he the coke addicted Russian dancer from UnREAL last season?
Jake: They know each other; she was weirded out that he was there & dubious of his intentions.  Jake looks like Andrew Keegan & Ryan Reynolds had a love child. Jake's Lovechild

Limo Six:
Trent: He arrived in a Hearst, yet didn’t say “I’ve been dying to meet you.”
Christian: Becca said he was suave, & the we promptly never heard from him again.
David: He arrived as Big Bird? A chicken?  He really kept up the bird act all night.  I love David!
Chris: Chandler’s roommate is here.  He brought a gospel choir; Uncle Gary would have approved…too bad he turned out to be the Tattler.  Chris

Overall, I’m not too impressed with the men so far.  I think Colton, Garrett, 7 Lincoln on ones to watch based on the previews.

Favorite Tweets from the night: BSE1.1BSE1.2BSE1.3

What did y’all think?  Any stand outs?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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WUW: July Edition

Well, it’s that time again…What’s Up Wednesday!  I missed June as I was crazy busy with work.  I can’t tell you how many times a fell asleep sitting straight up on my couch last month.  To be fair, I often fall asleep on my couch, but it’s not usually at 7:00p.  Such is life sometimes, #amiright. Questions

What I’m eating this week…

Okay y’all, so I’m still obsessed with salads…it’s just too hot to turn on the stove.  I’ve been loving this spicy Watermelon Feta Serrano salad from Chef Marcella Valladolid from The Kitchen.  salad

I’ve also really been into Shay’s (yes, I use her name like we’re real friends) Panzanella Salad.  Her recipe calls for goat cheese, but I use feta because I ALWAYS have feta in my fridge.

I really like making salads because usually by the time I finishing cooking hot dishes I no longer want to eat them.  I tend to taste as I go, & with all the smells, I’m just over it by the time they’re done cooking.

What I’m reminiscing about…

I’m reminiscing about days when my back didn’t feel so tight.  You know when you get a stitch in your side & it feels like your lung is stuck on a rib?  Well, I’m getting that sensation but in my upper back.  I’m going to a chiropractor today, so hopefully all will be well soon.

What I’m loving…

I’m loving the Essie & OPI gel polishes.  I recently gave myself a manicure, using OPI gel basecoat, Essie gel color, & OPI gel topcoat…y’all, it has lasted for 2 weeks so far!  That is unheard of me!!!

What I’ve been up to…

I’ve been doing a lot of babysitting, house & dog sitting.  Lexie is one of my favorite pooches. Lexie

What I’m dreading…

August is usually the hottest month of the year down here in Texas… Whah Whah.

What I’m working on…

The big project I had for work finally went live for my 200+ consultants.  There were a few hiccups, but it went much more smoothly than I thought it would!  You can’t see me, but I’m giving myself a pat on the back.  It went so well, that the proverbial “they” have given me more responsibility.

What I’m excited about…

So, I recently booked a trip, which I am soooooo excited about!!!  My friend Brigitte & I are flying to North Carolina to meet up with our friend Jessica.  Then we are going to take a few days to drive up to our friend Norma’s house in the mountains of New Hampshire for a few more days before heading home.  Any recommendations for the East Coast, please let me know!  We plan to stop in a ton of cute little coastal towns.  Road trip!

What I’m watching/reading…

I’m still watching this never ending season of The Bachelorette.  I think Rachel is the best Bachelorette we’ve ever had, but I’ve been pretty underwhelmed by the season as a whole.  ABC has done a horrific lack luster job of handling the delicate issue of race, in my opinion.  Plus, I miss Chris Harrison being more involved…I mean he’s only been the host for 100 years, so maybe he’s burnt out?

I’m about to start reading the Outlander series, per Brigitte’s recommendation.  Thanks for loaning me your 850 page book. Outlander

What I’m listening to…

I’ve been listening to Christmas music to celebrate Christmas in July!!!  You can listen to all my playlists here.  C in J

What I’m wearing…

I’m really into my new pinata tassel earrings!  Mine are in rose gold, silver, & gold, so they go with everything!Tassel 1

What I’m doing this weekend…

My only plans are to have dinner with a couple friends on Saturday.  And, possibly going to a friend’s brunch for her new business.

What I’m looking forward to next month…

So far, I don’t have anything planned for August…

What else is new…

Any curling iron recommendations?  Mine is dying a slow death, & I just can’t get the hang of wands.  I have so. much. hair.  this translates to me having no patience for wands.

Bonus: What’s my favorite thing about summer…

To be honest, I hate summer.  The heat – yuck.  The humidity – yuck & a half.summerI’m a cold weather person, which is easy to say being from Texas – I don’t truly know what cold is…blah, blah, blah.  I love winter holidays, my birthday is in December, I’m very fair skinned, so it just makes sense that I’m a winter person.

That being said, I do love “firework holidays.”  The Fourth of July is basically the only time I go outside in the summer that doesn’t involve a pool, air condition, or a cold adult beverage.  This year we played bingo at Whole Foods (it was a Tuesday after all) & watched the fireworks from the parking lot as they were across the street at Northshore Park.  Unfortunately, WF decided to have bingo outside, which was miserably hot; y’all, I got so desperate that I put ice down my shirt.  Fortunately for us, most people were too smart to play outside in the heat, so our group won most of the games!

How was July for you guys?  Anything fun planned for August?

Until the next WUW…

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Hometown Bores

You guys, this will be a Tweet-Cap as this week was uninspired.  The only things I learned were that 1) I love Aunt Verna; 2) Eric for the next Bachelor; and 3) ABC/Mike Fleiss really love to exploit peoples’ vulnerabilities.  Rachel really shouldn’t have been put in a situation that she had to mediate between Dean & his dad.  Ugly.  Sloppy.  Lazy.

Without further ado… E8.1E8.2E8.3E8.4E8.5

I’m not sure why, but I always seem to lose interest during this part of the season.  I would like for all females int his franchise to stop with the run & jumps. run & jumps

We were left with these men as the final three, no one was shocked. Final 3

So, here’s how I’d like to see the rest of the season play out:
Dean for Paradise or Winter Games
Bryan for Rachel
Eric for Bachelor
Peter for me

I don’t think that’s asking too much?  I find Peters salt & pepper hair a real turn on.  Hubba hubba!

What did y’all think of last night’s episode?  Bryan’s mom was pretty scary, but exactly as I thought she’d be.  Peter’s mom & Nick’s mom clearly have the same hair stylist.  We should have met Dean’s friends instead of his family…or maybe just his siblings.  Thoughts?

Later this week, I’ll post my final thoughts on Southern Charm.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Rachel “Left Eye” Lindsay

Sorry for the delay in getting this post up!  So, let’s just dig right in, shall we?

We open right back up where we left off last week; Paulie holding DeMario back from the gate, & Chris Harrison finally doing some real work – holding the guys back so that Rachel can have a private(ish) conversation with DeMario.  His character was assassinated – not to self don’t try to use that kind of talk with a lawyer.  Rachel told him, “I need a man, & what I saw was a boy.”  She sent him home again.

Cocktail Party Continues:
Blake is apparently in love with Lucas & stands over his bed, eating bananas, as told to Rachel by WhaBoom.  This is obviously a lie because Blake is on a Ketogenic diet & doesn’t eat carbs.  Lucas & Blake are so annoying.

Luckily for us, Rachel sends them both home to save our weary souls.

Men left standing after the Rose Ceremony: First Rose Ceremony

Afterwards, Blake & Lucas have the dumbest fake fight.  Seemed real rehearsed to me.

Group Date 1: Bryan, Jonathan, Peter, Alex, Will, Fred
Date Card: Lights, Camera, Action

They went on the Ellen Show.  Rachel claims Ellen is her spirit animal.  The guys strip, why again?  Alex twerked.  What the hell were those pants? Group Date 1

The guys played Never Have I Ever on Ellen.  Alex said something weird about Rachel looking him in the eye, left eye to left eye.  I found a few interesting articles regarding eye contact…you can check them out here & here.

Fred is so sweet, but kind of a sad sack Eeyore.  Three of the six guys kissed Rachel, which made Fred insecure.   He finally kissed her & it was the most awkward…and loud, very smack-y.  Rachel said she felt like she was kissing a boy.  She couldn’t get “bad Freddy” out of her mind.  Rachel did the only decent thing she could & sent Fred home…while holding the Group Date rose, which was kinda cruel.  Alex got the group date rose.

1-on-1 Date: Anthony
Date Card: Meet Me at the Rodeo

They went horseback riding on Rodeo Dr.  They rode their horses into a store to get boots with the spurs, big buckles, & cowboy hats.  This is not the OK Corral, it’s more like the Not Okay Corral.  Anthony's Date

As much as I like Anthony, this date was boring.  Anthony got the rose.

Group Date 2: Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, Eric
Date Card: Sometimes in Relationships, Women Have to Take Charge

Waiting for the group date, Eric’s insecurity is showing.  He attacked Iggy, though a producer Iggy egged him on.

Rachel’s girls from last season showed up & planned the date – Raven, Jasmine, Corinne, & Alexis.  Rachel said “my girls” 11, 234, 987 times…I counted.  I was so uncomfortable with this date.  Mud wrestling.  Bryce won, beating poor, tired Kenny.  Not going to lie, for most of this date I was hiding behind my laptop laughing hysterically…similar to how I behave in front of strippers. group 2

Surprisingly, Eric got the group date rose.

Cocktail Party:
Iggy questions Eric’s fit for Rachel…to Rachel.  Iggy is the Evan of this season.  Lee talks shit about Eric screaming at Iggy.   Okay, so based on Lee’s social media, we learned this past week that he is racist…unapologetically.  But, is he not an equal opportunity racist?  He has a problem with Eric, but not Iggy.  Looks like he’ll have more issues with Will & Josiah (or was it Kenny?).

To Be Continued…

There were a lot of fantastic Tweets from the night; these were my faves: E3.1E3.2E3.3E3.4E3.5E3.6E3.7E3.8E3.9

I hate when we don’t get a rose ceremony, it really throws off my bracket picks.  Who are we loving?  We obviously hate Lee & Tickle Monster, right?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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What’s Up Wednesday: May Edition

It’s that time again…time for a quick catch up with me!  WUW WUW Questions

What I’m eating this week…

When the weather gets warmer, I CRAVE salads; in my family we call it “Salad Art.”  I’ve been consistently making “clean out the fridge/pantry” chicken salad.

My current favorite recipe is:
1 8-12 oz. can of chicken breast – drained (I know this sounds gross, but I like the texture of canned chicken)
1-2 celery stalks – diced
1/2 of a purple onion – diced (it adds a nice spiciness)
1 small honeycrisp apple – diced
1 handful of dried cranberries (or cherries) – I like to chop them a little smaller
1 handful of slivered almonds (I like honey roasted)
1 handful of sunflower seed
2 spoonfuls of Miracle Whip, mayo, or Greek yogurt
Mix it all together & enjoy!  I go easy on the Miracle Whip because I’m not the biggest mayo (of any kind) fan…that’s a story for another day.

I’ve been known to switch up these ingredients a lot!  Mama J likes diced pineapple in her chicken salad & pecans.  I’ve done cashews, poppy seeds, Caesar dressing, cilantro, grapes, leftover slaw from Zoe’s Kitchen…you name it, I’ve put it in a chicken salad.

What I’m reminiscing about…

Memorial Day weekend was awesome.  I had Friday & Monday off from work.  I didn’t go anywhere, but…  I didn’t where makeup for 4 days.  I stayed in my pajamas pretty much the whole time.  I watch Hallmark movies & cleaned off my DVR.  I took a nap or two everyday.  I read a couple books.  It was awesome. lazy bones

What I’m loving…

I am absolutely loving Rachel Lindsay as the Bachelorette!  She’s classy, sassy, assertive, funny, & beautiful!  She doesn’t have time for the guys’ shenanigans & doesn’t let them get away with anything. Rachel

You can read my recaps here.

What I’ve been up to…

I feel like all I do is work!  However, I’ve been flexing my green thumb.  I have a HUGE (17′ x 26′) flowerbed on the front of my house, & it is the only spot in my entire yard that gets sunlight.  So, I cut the old, dying plants/weeds down to their stumps, then pulled up all the roots (Wow, was that work!), & I recently planted Red Yuccas, Crate Myrtle shrubs, Lantana, Mexican Heather, a nectarine tree, & a Sago Palm.

Before

Before…

Stumps

Stumps…

No roots

Roots have been pulled & stumps are gone!

red yuccas

Red Yuccas!

I haven’t taken a final picture yet because I need to add more mulch…’cause you know the 12 bags I used wasn’t even close to enough.  #gardeningproblems

What I’m dreading…

Let’s have some real talk, shall we?  By night, I blog & recap my shows.  By day, I’m a project manager in the Energy Sector here in Houston; I’m basically responsible for roughly 200 consultants.  Our company is in the process of switching our accounting system, which I think is a fantastic move.  However, I’m not getting all the information up front & I’m getting mostly trained on parts of the system that I don’t need/won’t have access to.  We are supposed to go live this week (it’s Wednesday!), & not only do I have to know how to use it for myself, but I have to explain it to 200 other people.  I’m dreading this because I’m anticipating the chaos.  I clearly have control issues…

What I’m working on…

This is going to sound weird, but my New Year’s Resolution was to take better care of my skin.  So, not only is Sunday my hair washing day, it is also my beauty pampering day.  I usually do a face mask, foot mask, & hand treatment of some kind.  This past Sunday I did a foot mask that causes your feet to peel 3-5 days later…well, my feet are peeling!  So, I’m working on peeling the layers of dead skin off my feet, & what’s underneath is smooth as a baby’s butt.  The smoothness lasts for a few months!  I know, I know…it’s kinda gross.

What I’m excited about…

I’m excited about a trip I hope to take with a few friends in the fall.  It will be a road trip from Charleston to New Hampshire & back!  I’ve never been to the East Coast – I always tend to go West, so I’m super excited to see the changing leaves.  I want to go apple picking, get drunk on syrup, & go on a moose tour!

What I’m watching & reading…

Watching: Southern Charm!  I love it!!!  You can read all my recaps here.

Reading: Y’all know I love my cheesy romance novels; I finished one over the weekend & am half way through another one.  Novels

What I’m listening to…

I’ve been listening to all The Bachelorette Recaps!  My favorites are from: The Popcast, Here to Make Friends, & Will You Accept This Rose.

What I’m wearing…

I’m living in my flip flops!  Also linen pants are my favs to wear to the office in the summer months…they’re casual, but I can get away with them since they aren’t jeans.

What I’m doing this weekend…

I’ll probably run the errands I put off over Memorial day weekend.  I’ll be getting more mulch, obviously.  I lead an exciting life.  I’ll probably head to the farmer’s market if the weather is nice…I think it’s supposed to rain.

What I’m looking forward to next month…

I plan to take a stay-cation in June.  I’ll be house sitting & dog sitting Lexie for two weeks & the house has a pool!  Yes, please!pool

What else is new…

I’m curious to know if any of you have any auto immune issues?  I feel like I do, but I know they take time to diagnose.  In the last month, my finger tips (the pads of my fingers) have peeled twice.  A friend of mine said that is a symptom of thyroid issues, which is the immune issue I think I have.  I alluded to my health a few WUW posts ago, & have since kind of given up on a diagnosis.  My GP told me I was fat (yes, I know I’m overweight); an Internist, having only met me once, told me I was crazy.  I ventured out on my own to an Endocrinologist who said I don’t have thyroid issues yet, but I will – whatever that means. Are any of y’all going through something similar?

Bonus: What’s my favorite vacation spot…

I have to say, one of the best vacations I’ve ever been on was to Isla Mujeres, Mexico, which is a 30 minute ferry ride from Cancun.  It is a little 6 mile long island.  Most people walk, drive mopeds, or golf carts.  I went there to babysit, & it was the most relaxing vacation I’ve ever been on.  Thank you Maureen & Amy!  We stayed in a house, & it was literally house -> pool -> road -> beach.  So dreamy!

The Bachelorette: Kareemed by an Ex

Ugh!  I had internet issues last night, it wasn’t even storming, so this couldn’t be posted last night.  Some of my observations are based on my reactions as I watched in real-time. Overall, last night’s episode was pretty good…drama wasted no time!  As per ushe, we started with Chris Harrison greeting the men after a quick wardrobe change to make us think it was a new day after the first rose ceremony.

Group Date: Dean, Jack, Jonathan, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Fred, Lucas

Ashton & Mila!  OMG!!!  Kelso & Jackie arrived to greet the guys & let them know that they would be competing for Rachel on the Ultimate Dad obstacle course.  Ashton said Rachel is looking for a real man…with health insurance.  He could not be more correct. Whaboom, Blake, & Dean definitely don’t have health insurance…probably not a 401k either.

Shocking everyone, Lucas won the race!  He beat out Kenny by shoving him out of the way.  Blake cried about it.  I think WhaBoom’s baby was probably dead by the end, but he won.  Ashton, Mila, & Rachel’s reactions were the best!  Somehow I think Rachel would rather have spent extra time with Kenny.Lucas

Lucas wasn’t as annoying during his 1-on-1 time, although he wore a hideous, distracting suit.  Fred told her that he has grown up & matured.  Jonathan taught her how to change a diaper – gross…why was he showing her this?  He doesn’t have children (as far as we know).  Rachel thought all the convos were mundane…until Dean sat down with her. Kenny did well too.  I love Kenny!

Blake’s obsession with Lucas is more annoying than Lucas being here.  The other guys are so unimpressed with Blake & Lucas.  I think it was Kenny that mentioned that the “white guys” were giving them all a bad name – I paraphrased.

Dean got the rose.  He sealed it with a kiss…which Rachel was in to!  Thank god he didn’t eat her face like Bryan did on night one.

1-on-1: Peter

Copper joined their date to Palm Springs.  I love all the dogs!!!  Barkfest looks fun!  But, seriously, what happened to Copper’s leg?  Did he have a cast last episode?  Peter is so hot! Rachel called it, Peter is dreamy.

Rachel’s dinner dress was beautiful.  If she doesn’t pick Peter, I’ll take him.  They talk about the gap in their teeth…if that was my only problem with my teeth, I’d keep it too.  They are so cute together.  They also talked about going to therapy after really bad breakups.  Have we ever had such real talk this early in season?

Peter got the rose. Peter

Group Date 2: Will, Jamey, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, Josiah, DeMario

Basketball with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar!  Who cares about the actual basketball game, get to the girlfriend!  Rachel was annoyed by Eric’s antics to get noticed.  I loved that Rachel got bored by the game & started dancing with the band…me too girl, me too.  Rachel is smitten with DeMario, which means the girlfriend is his right? Called it.  She sent DeMario home.  Lexi & DeMario annoyed me so much – they wouldn’t let Rachel talk.  Lawyer Rachel had to come out & give DeMario a reckoning.

Before heading to the Group Date cocktail party, Rachel needed a few minutes to collect herself.  She totally bi-passed Chris Harrison – so much for his pep talk.  Anyway, the show must go on right?  I think Rachel handled herself really well with the guys.

I thought Diggy, Eric, & Josiah had the most impressive 1-on-1’s with Rachel.

Josiah got the rose.

Of course this took the entire two hours, so no rose ceremony – this royally pisses me off as most of you know.  DeMario showed back up to ruin the Rose Ceremony…I think the guys are planning to lynch him.

Current men left (I use the term men loosely) & who got date roses: The Men E2

Favorite Tweets from the night: E2.1E2.2E2.3E2.4E2.5

What did y’all think of last night’s episode?  I thought Blake was far more annoying than Whaboom.  I’m okay that DeMario is gone because he’s a douche & Diggy looks just like him.  For some reason I get Iggy & Will mixed up…they looking nothing alike, but I’m always surprised to see them.

The Southern Charm recap will be up later today & RHONY later this week.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette Recap: WhaBoo

This post is a recap of my first impressions of the guys as they came out of the limo.  As y’all know, Night One is my least favorite due to the sheer number of people I’m expected to remember.  Why was 31 guys the magic number?  All The Men

Without further ado…

In order out of the limo:
Peter: 30: WI – Holy Hottie McHot Pants!  He is much better looking in person, & he was hot in his bio.  They have the same gap in their teeth.
Josiah: 28: FL – Legal terms! “See you later litigator.”
Bryan: 37: FL – Same outfit as Josiah? Speaks Spanish. Rachel flirted with him.
Kenny: 35: NV – He reminds me of Terry from Brooklyn 99.
Rob: 29: TX – He’s from Houston, based on his bio I thought he’d be from the UK or Canada.
Iggy: 30: IL – Iggy was not the body shape I anticipated, but I called it on the hipster.
Bryce: 30: FL – He literally picked her up.  Wore his uniform.
Will: 28: FL – Just say no to Urkel.
Diggy: 31: IL – He wants to teach her how to Diggy.  Can you dig it?
Kyle: 26: CA – He can bake…apparently.
Blake K.: 29: CA – Hot Asian.  i still think he looks like Craig Conover from Southern Charm.
Brady: 29: FL – So many guys from Florida!  He looks like he’s been workin’ on the railroad all the live long day.
Dean: 26: CA – Rachel actually remembered him.  He is better looking in person.
Eric: 29: CA – he looks so much like the character from Get Out that was with the old white lady.  Dancing is their thing.
DeMario: 30: CA – He is good looking.  These guys love a bow tie.  Over-confident.
Blake E.: 31: CA – Hired a marching band.  So, the aspiring drummer wants to be in Drum Line. Nick Cannon should be afraid.
Fred: 27: TX – He knew Rachel from childhood – he was kinda creepy about it.  Rachel calls him “Fredrick, the bad little boy.”
Jonathan: 31: FL – Ewww, tickle monster.
Lee: 30: TN – He’s not as good as Wes from Jillian’s season, but already as annoying.
Alex: 28: MI – Vacuum cleaner?
Milton: 31: FL – He took a selfie with Rachel & purred at her.  Gross.
Adam: 26: TX – He brought a puppet, Adam Jr.
Matt: 32: CT – Dressed as a penguin. Waddling right into her heart.
Grant: 29: NY – Arrived in an ambulance.
Anthony: 26: IL – His head wasn’t as misshapen in person.  Wears an earring.
Jamey: 32: CA – Seemed a little effeminate.
Jack Stone: 31: TX – Has she ever seen him in court?
Mohit: 26: CA – Reminds me of Mike from Shahs of Sunset.
Jedidiah: 35: GA – He went biblical on her, shocker.
Michael: 26: IL – Lots of Chicago guys too!
Lucas: 30: CA – Testicle talk through Kenya Moore’s megaphone.  I wish she really could send him back to the limo.  Is Whaboom a rip-off of the Tasmanian Devil?  Does it give him a migraine to yell & shake like that?

Observations:

  • First make out sesh goes to Bryan.
  • DeMario knows A LOT about pop culture.
    • Might have a thing for Justin Timberlake related obsession.
  • Mo is d-runk…the Mike from Shahs comparison holds up.
  • Milton sounds like Josh Murray…I can’t handle the purring.
  • Fun Fact: Blake E. & Lucas were on a previous reality show together & they did not get along.
  • Kenny is kinda sweet.
  • Rachel is walking like her feet hurt.
  • Josiah is wearing on my nerves.  He & DeMario egg each other on.

First Impression Rose: Bryan

Roses awarded to: Survivors

Would you guys prefer me to keep all the guys & change their photo to B &W when they go, or just remove them (like above)?

Favorite Tweets from the night: E1.1E1.2E1.3E1.4E1.5

What did y’all think of Rachel’s guys?  Are any of them a keeper?  How annoying was Lucas?

My Southern Charm recap will be up later today.  RHONY up on Wednesday/Thursday.

Kiss Hug,

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The Bachelorette: Meet & Greet

Y’all, as I’m sure you know, the beautiful Rachel Lindsay is back as the Bachelorette! Rachel In Case you’ve forgotten, or live under a rock, Rachel is the 32 yo lawyer from Dallas, that got dumped by Nick…he’s a moron.

This is my typical,  first impression post about the contestants.
Vocabulary to know:
IBB: Impression Before Bio – this is my initial first reaction to the guys’ pictures.
IAB: Impression After Bio – obviously this is what I think after I read their bios.

Meet the guys! G1G2G3G4G5G6G7G8

These guys are obsessed with Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson, Denzel Washington, & Matthew McConaughey like last season’s girls were obsessed with mermaids, dolphins, & Olivia Pope.

I’m still trying to decide if I will focus more on recapping my beloved Southern Charm or The Bachelorette.  Southern Charm needs to kick this season into gear because so far it have been a snooze fest with way too much Landon & Craig.  I will definitely recap both, but I may skip the boring episodes.

What were your first impressions of the guys?  Will you be doing a fantasy league?

Until next week…

Kiss Hug,

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Bachelor Recap: The End

Y’all, I’ve been so bad!  SorryI took an impromptu break from recapping The Bachelor.  It inadvertently coincided with the announcement of Rachel as the next Bachelorette, which I’m so thrilled about.  However, once she left the show I knew Vanessa was the shew-in for the final rose; oddly enough, it didn’t hurt my feelings that Rachel was announced so early.

On the other hand, I got so bored with Nick’s season.  I felt like he was kind of producing as he went along, being that he is a veteran in the Bachelor community.  Y’all know my love/hate relationship with the show.  Once they’ve been on The Bachelor/ette & BIP, they’ve run their course & I’m done with them.

Another grievance I have with the show, ahem Mike Fleiss ahem, is that the show seems to be going more towards competing with UnREAL in the drama department & I am so not into that.  Love UnREAL & I love the Bachelor, but I want a separation of church & state.  I’m miss the good ol’ days of Andrew Firestone, Brad Womack, Emily Maynard, & Jillian Harris.  They actually seemed to be in it to find love.  Yes, I said Brad Womack & I mean it…both his seasons.  I actually wouldn’t mind if he came back for a third season – he’s so pretty!  Somewhere I have a picture of me with Brad, & his twin Chad, outside Manuel’s on South Congress in Austin.  Swoon – they are beautiful!  Swoon

All this to say, I will be back recapping soon with Southern Charm (my GOAT), RHONY, & The Bachelorette!  Within the next week, I will update my #SoutherCharm Cast Analysis, which you can read here.  In case you’re wondering -& I know you are – I still have the hots for Shep Rose. Shep

Keep checking back for new content…I swear I will be better!

Kiss Hug,

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